Guys, how would you react if your girlfriend of a 2 years brought up the subject of marriage?

One night she says "we need to talk" and brings up the fact that she wants to get married and have children soon --probably within the next couple of years. She tells you earnestly that this is something that she has always envisioned for herself.

How would you react?

Given that the relationship was already going well.

  • Go get a ring that very week and plan on surprising her with it.
    9% (6)13% (5)10% (11)Vote
  • Tell her that marriage and kids are not OK with you, ever.
    3% (2)8% (3)5% (5)Vote
  • Tell her that you're not sure and will have to think on it.
    36% (24)56% (22)44% (46)Vote
  • Other (please explain)
    52% (34)23% (9)41% (43)Vote
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well it has been 2 years, poop or get off the pot.

    Don't take it personally, women are just different than men in that way. If you don't see this relationship going where she sees it going, then you owe it to her and yourself to let it go.

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What Guys Said 13

  • If that's what you want, you are (IMO) OBLIGATED to talk to him about it. It's part of basic relationship compatibility, and something you should have talked about long ago anyway.

    He may think it's a great idea, a terrible idea, or he might just not be ready. Keep in mind that most people these days don't get married until their late 20s or early 30s, so it wouldn't be unusual for a guy in his early 20s not to be ready. But plenty of people ARE ready, especially if they have the right partner. And if it's that important to you, and he doesn't agree, then it's better you break up now so that you can find someone you CAN get married to.

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  • 2 years isn't enough time to go into marriage tbh. That is, if you've ONLY known her for 2 years. If you've known her for a lot longer than that (like friends before) and been going out officially for 2 years? Maybe. It would really depend on my financial status too and whatnot. But in general I'm never opposed to marriage of a woman I love. But I don't think 2 years is enough time of knowing someone well enough (especially if we weren't already living together) to get married. People really rush into marriage too fast. I'd say knowing someone 5+ years if you've lived together for a year or two is enough to see if marriage will work. Now time's not set in stone, but hopefully you get the idea.

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  • Yeah, I think this is actually good news at this length of a relationship.

    If it was early in the relationship, it would be a red flag. Partially because she's jumping the shark, and partially because some women use this to scare guys off.

    But after 2 years, this seems legit. Remember, just because she brings it up doesn't mean you are cornered into it. You are half the relationship. It's not about her, but about the two of you.

    Just be honest about how you feel and stick to that.

    But I guess I'm talking to the wrong person. I just realized a girl was asking this. haha

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  • Well ideally for me, the concept of marriage and kids is discussed WAY earlier than that. At the latest, at beginning of the getting serious stage.

    I do want to get married (at least for now, I'm getting more and more turned off by the idea, especially in Western countries) and I do want to have kids.

    So I wouldn't really get in that situation.

    For me, 2 years is the absolute bare minimum of time in a relationship for me to consider proposing. I'm pretty sure, although I have no statistics whatsoever to back this up, that engagements that happen before the one-year mark have an exponentially bigger chance of ending up in divorce. Too many people get married while they're still in love, mistaking those feelings for actually loving someone. And yes, those two are a huge difference.

    If she says "in a couple of years", no problem. If she says "as soon as possible" after a couple of months of dating, that's a red flag for me.

    This tells me she doesn't take marriage serious enough, that she's one of those girls that believes in fairy tales.

    I hope to be married at the age of 30-35, right now I'm not nearly ready.

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    • you say you discuss marriage way earlier than two years...yet you then say that two years in the bare minimum amount of time that you would need? What?

    • Yes. It's very important to talk about how you look at marriage and kids very early on. Not discussing in a way like "I'd like to marry YOU by then" or "If WE got married, then..."

      Rather whether or not you are open to get married eventually, and whether or not you want kids. Not with each other, but with the person you'll end up loving.

      Marriage and kids are something where both partners have to see eye-to-eye completely. Otherwise there's just no point in starting a relationship.

    • oh OK I got u

  • At my age? No thanks. I'd tell her I'm really not ready for something like that, and really don't understand why marriage would change our relationship anyway. It's as if women feel incomplete without having that ring on the finger, which could be taken as a little bit of an insult.

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  • i would say;

    'you're insane. there is no way I will ever get married, and I told you that already. and I also don't want kids right now because I don't have time for this sh*t. if this is not acceptable, leave or don't ever mention this to me again. is this f***ing clear?"

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  • With a lot of running away and yelling. I voted C. I would be suprised and would feel a little rushed after being in a relationship with her for only two years.

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  • That in itself wouldn't upset me, in fact two years seems to be a reasonable time frame to bring up marriage. I would decide what to do depending on how close we are and how we felt in the relationship.

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  • At first I would've voted 'A', but then I read all these bad things about how settling down too early these days leads to a dead end in the relationship a lot quicker. If you're not even in your mid twenties yet, don't even bother settling down. Most of the time both are still too immature, get bored in the relationship and cheat. People need to get rid of that slut phase in their younger years before settling down or they will get bored and cheat later on in life.

    Now I'm not saying this applies to everyone, but this generation is immature as f*ck.

    Oh, and by the way, I voted 'C'.

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  • It's a big decision, I'd have to think it through thoroughly. Listen to my gut, listen to my thoughts...

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  • id be open to discussion but would not be making any quick plans for something like that. also wouldn't be just like hell no to it or OK let me go get you a ring in the morning either. I wouldn't give any real answer right then if it was like the 1st time its been brought up seriously

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  • Your options are limited. Why not have an option of, "yes you would marry her but not next week in time."

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  • If the relationships going well, I'd be open to talk about it.

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What Girls Said 5

  • depends on if he is ready in the next blah blah blah years

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  • Tell her what you want be up front if you are not ready tell her but what is making you not think about it

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  • after 4 months he brought it up actually XD

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  • I brought this up with my boyfriend of 2 years and he said he never wants to get married or have kids. He just wants to be in a relationship with me forever. I want to get married, but I don't want kids. But I'll do whatever he thinks is best. Maybe he'll change his mind one day when we're both successful enough to support each other.

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  • I've casually brought this up to my boyfriend, that it would be really nice to be engaged sometime during the next 4 years, and he felt the same way. We've known each other for almost 5 years now but have only been dating for 5 months but we both know we are meant to be together. It just depends on the guy, and you should really try to be in relationships with people who have similar values.

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