I don't think I want to get married anymore (interesting read GTFIH)

link

Check out this website and read it, scares the f*ck out of me...

First part:

Women's relationships today follow

a very predictable pattern:

They push men for commitment

They get what they want

They lose interest in sex

They become attracted to someone else

They start cheating

They become angry and resentful

They begin telling their partners that they need time apart

They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.

Updates:
Thanks for answering everyone, it really eased my mind! :D


Going to sleep now so will pick a Best Answer tomorrow lol
Too many good answers... can't decide the best one lol

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Most Helpful Girl

  • just expect the positive instead of giving attention to the negative, sure people cheat and divorce that's life, but yours can be different if you choose to let it, if you don't want to get married or committed then fine don't do it but please don't assume that the whole world is like that. My parents have been married for the past 31 years and still going strong and they never cheated and then there's my aunt whose husband cheats around and she chooses to live that miserable life with him because of the kids, but I choose to believe that I can have a marriage like my parents and not my aunts because that's how my mindset its: very positive! and even so if it doesn't work out the way I planned, I can always pick myself up and move on and become wiser and stronger because that's life, I won't run away from it and will embrace the good and the bad and choose to be happy and see the good in it. I know it seems easier said than done but all relationships have their ups and downs and besides you are still young enough not to be really into marriage and stuff so just chill and enjoy the single life, marriage is not for everybody and if it is marriage has a different time for everybody so don't worry about this stuff

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    • Yeah, you're right, I just need to chill dafuq out. Why am I over thinking this so much haha

What Girls Said 4

  • well if it scared you...why would I want to read it? =P

    I believe that you should get married when you find someone who you believe is worth spending your life with and working through the hard times with one another instead of walking away. It's easy to get married but harder to stay married and committed to one another. Men and women both have their faults or hang ups but that's why you chose someone who brings out the best in you and makes you appreciate yourself, life, and them as well. So hopefully you will get married to someone you find worth while. ^_^ hope it helps

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    • I read it because I was so curious lol

      And yeah, you're right, but what if what happened in the article happened to me (read it please)? :/

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    • Haha, thanks for the kind words. It really eased my mind a little ^_^

    • lol well it's better than not at all ^_^

  • Is there a question in this?

    And you do understand that she is trying to sell something, right?

    " like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat" that's a clever marketing strategy because it will apeal to all women, those that are happily married and those that are not. You can't listen to that. Of course most people say they will never cheat and of course those that do feel guilty, thus it doesn't require a lot intelligence to come up with a sentence to that.

    That being said, it's no secret that some women cheat on their husband and some men cheat on their wives. There are different numbers out there 40% of women; 50% of men, 30% men; 45% of women ...

    fact is a lot of people cheat. I don't think you will get very accurate information on here though because most people are simply too young to have expierenced something like that

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    • oh, and I can't wait to get married

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    • ya it is a great book. On one side it was shocking but towards the end it gets more and more calming. He i.e. gives good reasons why he believes that more than occasional polygamy is not natural humans. I don't know but I found the idea that we're actually supposed to be monogamous very encouraging

    • That last part gives me hope in the future... I want this book now lol!

  • I highly doubt this. Honestly I can't wait to find someone to marry. And I don't believe in losing interest in sex. It makes the relationship. If it gets boring that's what roleplaying, costumes and wigs are for. And more often than not with me at least men are the ones pushing me for commitment (I am a little of a commitment phobe except for this one guy I thought I was gonna marry). Though there are some women like that I don't believe the majority are.

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    • It says in the article

      "If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating. "

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    • Nice, good for them lol

  • Well, personally I don't want to get married either. Maybe because every married couple I know get divorced or think of getting a divorce. I don't know if this is going to make sense to you but I believe if you are legitimately happy with someone you wouldn't feel the need to make a huge deal out of it. I know this doesn't help you one bit I just wanted to state my opinion lol.

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    • This actually makes sense to me! :D

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    • I'm glad you understand. Maybe I should do the same thing :)

    • Good stuff! :D

What Guys Said 6

  • Hmm. Interesting.

    It's scary, but it doesn't apply to all cases by any means. Even though I've actually faced a similar situation myself.

    But it does validate some of my beliefs about women (not the ones would you would assume)

    My belief is that by nature, Humans are incredibly sexual beings. Much like Bonobos.

    However, we act as though sexuality is some sort of taboo. And also, we act like women are predominantly asexual, or teach them to be rather insulted by sexuality. That is, we teach women tat sex negates love, and that it is a form of objectification. So they suppress their libidos, and act like sexuality is immature.

    This situation alone is capable of introducing a whole host of issues, including:

    -violence between partners

    -unsatisfied sex life.

    -The woman feeling like something is missing.

    -The man feeling like he doesn't love her.

    -Searching to fulfill these needs elsewhere.

    It's also responsible for some of the traditional gender norms in courting:

    -The man is expected to pay, as though her mere presence is a service and he must thank her. (Dying off, as I've found out.)

    -The man must approach the woman, who chooses between the offerings made by the men. (Again, dying off)

    -The vagina is treated as a sacred temple and placed on a pedestal, under the assumption that sex does nothing for her.

    It's important to note that the traditional dating norms basically collapse in sexually liberal nations. In Sweden, for instance, women and men make a move equally, and don't actually go on fancy "dates". US women actually stand out like a sore thumb there for expecting the guy to initiate and pay. And in the Netherlands, well, there a reason we call it "going dutch".

    Blaming men for dissatisfaction is actually quite common, apparently. Women initiate 80% of divorces, and apparently sexual dissatisfaction is high up there. This is also the top reason for cheating. "A real man would know how to pleasure his woman." is kinda the mantra. I think this comes down to socialization.

    We teach people that women only act out as victims of something, and that men only act out because they are jerks. That is, if a man and woman punch each other, we assume the man was doing it because guys are violent, and that the woman hit the man because he did something to deserve it.

    But sociologists are finding out that this isn't the case, as women initiate about half of domestic abuse, and are the majority of those who use weapons or planning.

    So we run on this idea that women are victims and men are oppressors, despite gender not playing so much of a role.

    As for the other issues, I will divert you to a video by primatologist Christopher Ryan, who discusses our sexual nature, and compares it between the abusive Chimps and peaceful Bonobos.

    link

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    • Wow good stuff, where did you get all this info? And by the way, when you mentioned liberal nations like Sweden, do you reckon the women are more likely to cheat there as well?

    • I doubt it. But I don't know any actual numbers.

      But it seems cheating comes about when the relationship feels to strained and locked for you to break up BEFORE switching person. I hear the common reason for cheating for women is testing the waters with someone else so they don't have to go a second being single. For men, it's generally to get more sex, or find someone more comfortable with their sexuality.

    • Yeah, I read the same thing as well!

  • One thing you could do is get married, don't have kids, don't buy anything together, and see how that goes. If all goes wrong and you end up getting divorced, nothings changed, no commitments, nothing.

    Everything on that list could be said for anyone in an unhappy relationship.

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  • The likelyhood of her initiating divorce, the child support, losing my house to her, and the chance she may falsely accuse me of domestic violence and/or rape put me off marriage more.

    Prenups don't mean sh*t, BTW. Takes more time drawing it up than it does a lawyer convincing the judge to ignore it.

    Don't want to be obliterated? Then don't throw yourself into the meat grinder (marriage -> anti-male divorce courts).

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  • Well said, I second that!

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    • I'm crushed man, I really did want to get married someday but after reading that women have a midlife crisis after a few years of marriage and contemplate cheating really scares me!

  • What you describe is line by line what just happened to a friend of mine. And I'd say the first three lines are more common than not.

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    • Jesus Christ... this stuff scared me, man.

    • My only advice is don't listen to women. I know it sounds sexist, but women initiate 70% of the divorces and 90% of college-educated couples... When you think most of marriages were most sought by women...you come to the conclusion that women have two phases. First they want a man to commit to them, then they grow disgruntled and want out. Many women are a big pain in the ass to live with and they NEVER even realize it. In their mind their unhappiness is always the guy's fault.

    • You're right man, and I've read the same thing as well!

  • Prenup.

    Did I get one? No.

    Should you? yes.

    Would I actually get married again if I wasn't going to have kids with the woman (in which case you're financially linked for decades in either case? probably not.

    Date, enjoy relationships. Having kids has been hard but worth it, and if you want them, then at some point, try to marry a quality woman and hope for the best. But get a prenup.

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    • What if she gets mad at the thought of a pre-nup?

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    • You never know anything, but if she leaves over it, she leaves over it.

      I think a lot of couples talk about 'would you get married' before they propose. (they should!). At THAT stage, that's the time to say 'i'm nervous about marriage because I know so often things change. I think I'd force myself to get a prenup. I know at the time I'd be feeling romantic and like its not needed, and obviously when you get married, you really want it to be forever. But I've seen too much to blah blah'

    • Yeah, you're right, good stuff man.

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