I feel we have to date a lot of duds before finding the right one. Also do you think the percentage of people we can be with for 50 plus years (marriage) is pretty low? like one digit numbers?
Most Helpful Girl
Not necessarily but for most people, yes. it depends on what "right" means for you, depending on what you're looking for and how much you grow and evolve. but for many people, id say that going through life and meeting/getting to know more people, not necessarily dating every person you meet along the way (nothing wrong with that though), lends you more opportunity to finding someone who is right for you.
I also don't believe there's one specific "right one." I think there are more people than just one whom you could find at any given time and feel they are right. again, what feels right ten years ago may not feel right anymore, depending on how much youve grown, what you want from life, or the connection you had in the first place, etc.
which brings me to marriage for 50s years. That's a really long time. My parents have been together since they were 16, and been married, unhappily, for a very long time but even they aren't near 50 years. More like 26 years. they would need to be married for that long all over again, and it doesn't look very promising for them. then again, they could stay together that long. how happy they would be in that marriage is another story.
Look at all your relationships, all the friendships youve had and they few that you thought would last much longer than they did. Romantic relationships are often the same. People you thought would be there years into the future sometimes arent. Maybe because something bad happened, or something good happened, maybe because you changed, or they changed, or subtle negative feelings that were there in the beginning have manifested into serious problems, etc. Its tricky. I think if you find someone who can communicate honestly and openly and is willing to work on things and change together with you or adapt to changes, instead of letting things build up and go unsaid, you're ahead of most people, friends or lovers. 50 years or any specific number of years isn't important, to me, but if you have that kind of relationship, I think you're likely to stay together longer. Although even that isn't certain. Sometimes the changes that have happened, however open and honest of an environment you have in a relationship are insurmountable at this time and the change and need the other person has met is now freedom or the desire to do things that you aren't willing to do or don't want to do. Compatibility can change as well.0