I personally wouldn't. My reason is, I would not get that feeling of fresh marriage that many newly married couples get to experience, AND, (I don't mean to offend anyone) I just feel that if his last marriage failed, there is a huge chance that ours would fail too. Of course this might not be the case for all divorcees, the only ones I would pardon are the ones that divorced because they were in an abusive marriage (as long as HE wasn't the one doing the abusing! O.o) Otherwise, I think other divorcees' reasons for divorce are not good enough and are for the most part because they were selfish, failed to accept the faults of their spouse and weren't willing to work on their marriage. Therefore, I wouldn't want to marry a divorcee because I would feel that he might not be willing to save our marriage if things were to start looking bad, meaning that he would not keep his vow that he made in the wedding, "...for better or for worse". Also, he might be much more on guard in the marriage so much so that if he sees a slight reminder of his last marriage in the 2nd marriage, he might bail out even faster. So nope, I wouldn't marry a divorcee.
Please if there are any divorcees that come across this question, feel free to share why my reasons are valid or flawed
Most Helpful Guy
Ok, I am divorced. I understand your reasons, and we felt we worked on our issues.
My former (I don't use "ex" for her) has married, in a much healthier relationship, and much happier. We stay in touch, and would help each other if needed.
My relationship with my "second" (widowed, if it matters) involved helping rear her kids, we were partners, decided not to marry, for various reasons. She died early, and to young.
I think each relationship needs to be judged on the merits it has/had. In the case of our marriage, "for better or worse" made us realize we were going to harm (emotionally) each other. You may call that selfish - it is, kind of - but we are both better people for it.
I helped rear two wonderful kids, still see them, I missed their mother and keep moving on.
I have no regrets for my marriage, but we both agreed (after), we should have talked more, maybe been in our mid-20s, not early.
I understand your feelings, I guess I would just ask you to be flexible. The second time can be flexible, tricky - but it can be wonderful.
Thank you for listening, good luck to you. You seem a special and thoughtful woman.1