I broke up with my fiance and I feel guilty, help?

I was with him 3 years , we started planning marriage for next year. but I realized I wouldn't be happy with him,

I broke up with him. But he became very depressed, his family and friends are telling me that he looks terrible, never goes out, is always sad.. and how could I do it

And he calls me telling how I hurt him, ,that he loves me, he will change everything I want.

And that I could have told him earlier ,before engagement that I'm not sure, or why I was 3 years with him ..

I feel so guilty that I can't sleep at nights, and I think about it all the time, his calls makes my cry . I don't know what should I do to get over it? am I really so bad?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you didn't want to marry him, then you did the right thing You shouldn't let other people's convenience decide how you live your life. This is one of the most important steps you will ever take, so make sure it feels right FOR YOU.

    And he would be hurt more if you divorced later. You have spared him a lot of pain by making the decision NOW.

    Do you think he can really change himself so hat you'd feel differently about marrying him? Again, don't let his family and friends bully you into changing your mind. Make sure YOU really believe he will change what you don't like.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Obviously he's gonna get depressed. But you must have had you own reasons. First thing you have to do is face him. Ask him for breakfast or lunch but not for dinner at a public place. What you have to do is help him regain his confidence. Best way to do that is to self-blame. Tell him its your fault and that you are not ready. Ask him to start dating again with a few confidence boosting words. Also make sure he deletes your cell no and you do the same. After that's done block him from any social networking site. Tell him to stop calling up and complain. After that is done getting over him will be easier. Next you have to focus on yourself. Try to focus on why you broke up with him. It helps reduce your guilt. Tell yourself its not your fault and convince yourself you won't be happy with him. Also start seeing other people and go out with friends. Oh and also if you want switch of your phone before sleeping. Best of luck !

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What Girls Said 3

  • If you were unhappy, you did what you had to do. Are you only upset about this because you feel guilty? If you're sure that you're not happy, then the last thing you want to do is get back with him, because this will just come out again later on - and it will be even more painful down the road after you've gotten married.

    He is going to hurt. It's sad and unfortunate. Few people want to hurt someone they loved and no one wants to BE hurt. But there's just no great answer here - the only real thing to do is what you did. Rip off the bandaid and go on. Do your best to be there for him the best you can but make him understand that you just weren't happy, and that it wasn't necessarily a problem with him or something he needs to change. Aside from pushing your own needs aside, it's all you can really do.

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  • In this society of throw away relationships...do not feel bad about what you did. It was better to break it off than to marry someone you felt could not meet all of our needs...You broke it off because of the way you felt at the time. I would suggest that you pray and ask God for help...No you are not bad...you did what you needed to do...I am sorry your ex is not feeling good about it...But he too will get over it...Bless you both.

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  • Hi I think you did the right think :) because in the end you will be better without him

    And he will be better without you too.

    He will be hurt and depress but it's better now than after getting married

    Maybe the timing was not very good but you took the courage to do it

    So feel OK with your decision.

    Just please don't regret it when you see him loving and caring for another girl

    And you may be alone :(

    Take care and look after your self

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