You like her but she will not have sex with you...Do you leave?

Ok Men. You meet a beautiful Woman and you hit it off right away. You spend time together and just enjoy each others company. You find yourself opening up to her in ways you never have with anyone. You are comfortable in her presence. Her kisses drive you wild. She tells you she cannot have sex outside of marriage. You tell her you are not ready for marriage, do you continue to date her or do you walk away?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Does she repay my attention and affection at least a quarter as much as I dish it out? Do we still have the same goals? Is she still in it for our common beliefs' sake? Does she still want me for me, and not for some wild idea of what I might be able to buy for her in the future?

    If those are still true, then I'm not leaving. Sex or no sex, I don't want an opportunity like that to slip away. As long as I have those things - things I've never truly had - sex doesn't seem all that important.

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    • Your reply was unique and refreshing. Yes, they were flowing beautifully but he said "I truly love you but I am not ready for marriage" and he went back to his lover who he now calls his girlfriend. Thanks for responding.

    • That is an inspiring response.

What Guys Said 20

  • I would definitely dishearten me to not have sex with her. I couldn't feel as close and connected to her. It would be an emotional equivalent of keeping me at arm's distance.

    Not to sound TOO sappy, but I want to feel an emotional closeness with the girl I'm with. Without the sex, the physical, emotional, and spiritual connection wouldn't be very strong.

    Bad as it sounds, I would have to breakup with her, because I would want different things than she is willing to give me.

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    • Surprised you got so many downvotes. This is a perfectly reasonable, non-offensive answer.

    • I see your point clearly and I agree it that is what it takes for you in a relationship, by all means you should have it. Thanks for responding.

    • i must admit that I'm shocked that I got so many downvotes; I have a feeling that it was girls that downvoted me lol

  • Sounds like a recipe for a long, miserable stretch of self-induced frustration and misery to me. If I want sex and no marriage, but she won't have sex before marriage, and neither of us is willing to compromise, then we're obviously not compatible. Why would we stay together?

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    • Exactly its always better to lay it out in the beginning and make a decision. Thanks for your response.

  • great question, I would have to say sex is a very important part of a relationship in bonds 2 together and form a very important connection.

    Now if your dating for a while 2 months or so, and she tells me this, I would respect that, however if I was not ready for marriage yet I would move on. Sadly but yes.

    Are you this beautiful woman?

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    • Which is exactly what he did. He said he was not ready for marriage and left to be with someone else. I am not angry it was his choice and I truly respect that. Thanks for your response.

    • Your stronger than I. I would have egged him. Lol

  • I would be thrilled that she shares the same morals and ideals... Leaving a girl you like over something like this is just foolish/selfish. It's hard enough finding a good girl to begin with...

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    • you sound like you have the morals of a real gentleman

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    • the beta and virgin feeling is tingling in this one.

  • You decide if she's marriage material and if not, you move on.

    If she is, you stick around.

    Most dudes aren't going to stay in a dating without sex relationship without a light at the end of the tunnel and they probably know pretty early if they can see themselves settling down with someone.

    Why the no sex outside of marriage rule? Don't answer. Just think through what you get out of having the rule, and what it costs you in terms of experiences that you might like a lot.

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    • No, I can answer the reason for no sex outside of marriage is her religious beliefs. Thanks for answering.

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    • if she's playing headgames from the start and believes her p**** is worth so much, then f*** her she is in no way material for anything

    • Voice of bitter experience?

  • I want a relationship with lots of sex and don't want to wait a lifetime for it. We're just not after the same thing, at best we might be friends from then on out and nothing more.

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    • He felt the same and left to be with a girl who would give it to him. No hard feelings on my part. It's my beliefs not his. Thanks for your reply.

  • nope, sex is no requirement, as long as I can have kisses, hugs and snuggling from my girlfriend I'm all good,

    after we get married then yeah things change, once I get married to her, I require sex

    after all isn't that what married couples do ^_^

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    • Lovely answer :) I hope I'm blessed enough to get a guy like you one day

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    • what you want to see my account redbull FINE I'll uncheck anon, and dude I'm no liar

    • I agree once the wedding is over and the marriage begins its all the time as it should be thanks for responding.

  • I'll leave because sex is an important part of a relationship.

    Plus the fact that she will not have sex indicates trust issues.A relationship cannot last without trust.

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    • Its not a trust issue at all. Its just that I prefer to save that part of me for my Husband only. Thanks for your reply.

  • if your not ready for marriage, that implies that this girl is just around right now. get serious or walk away.

    also, sex is a big part of any relationship. people break up just cause the sex is awkward or bad. it's definitely a must imo.

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    • I agree sex is a large part of a relationship and each person has the right to walk away if their not being satisfied. Thanks for your reply.

  • Guys with options will not waste their precious time on a girl that is stuckup about sex. Get the f*** over your p**** already, its not worth a billion dollars and sex is just sex. It feels good for both and a women doesn't call the shots on it. The dumbasses who think they can are the ones that end up on maury

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  • I would walk away.

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  • I would stay! Sure, I would probably like to do it now instead of then, but I would respect her. One factor shouldn't define a relationship, and leaving just because of the sex part is a stupid move!

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  • walk away. a girl that is like that is selfish and expects a guy to spend all this time with her and not give him the thing he wants most, sex. There are plenty of girls who are awesome company and don't have stupid hangups abotu sex and expect guys to treat them like a queen for nothing in return.

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  • No sex outside of marriage ? I'm leaving as soon as she has finished her sentence.

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  • I would, but she will have to be really really special...hard to find

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    • The fact that you would speaks volumes for you. You are truly a special Man. Thanks for responding.

  • No sex b4 marriage. is this real life?

    nice 19th century son.

    Of course every guy with any sense of pride will dump her. She is only good as a mate.

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    • No, its not the 19th century its my religious belief. Thanks for responding.

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    • I took the test at HelloQuizzy, to fact check your hypothesis. Nice try. I fulfill 1/3 of my Alpha potential, 1/3 of my beta, and 53% of my Omega type potential. So I'm actually Omega-dominant, though not 100% committed to any one classification. So one man's praiseworthy conquest is a meaningless trifle to me. So long as I'm not stepped on, everything's fine. Yes, it's a lonely existence at times. But I'm skilled at passive-aggressive revenge. Sleep tight. :-P

    • the omega pha@@ots jimmies are rustled.

      he has to take an internet quiz to identify and realize who he really is. You wot m8?

      Please I implore you to stop digging yourself a grave to sleep and explode in.

      brb* disclaimer; I have no liability in the eventuality and death of anyone whos jimmies are rustled.

  • Leaving. It's nothing personal, just our wants and needs aren't compatible. It's always going to be hard to be in a relationship when that's the case.

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    • I agree and I doubt he regrets his decision his new girlfriend is very accomodating. Thanks for responding.

  • Nah, I won't leave but she's going to have to cool it with the kissing. ;)

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    • Yes, laughing the kissing can cause things to get hot very quickly. Thanks for responding.

  • I would stay with her. I'm still a virgin and am now considering waiting till marriage too.

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    • I applaud your decision. I'm sure you can make it. Thanks for responding.

  • I'd dump her.

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What Girls Said 6

  • How old is she? If she is under 18 ...walk away. If you think that you will just hit it once then walk away...you should tell her that you are just looking for a good time. If she says she is a V she is probably lying. Just because she held out for a week or a month does not mean she is a V. If you date her for a YEAR then she puts out...she was a V. If you are in your late 20's and she is close to your age then she is not a V, she just wants you to think that she is a "good girl" so you are more likely to continue dating her, after she puts out. She is probably playing with you, if she is a Virgo (birthday in late aug, early sept) then she will put out...and soon. She just has to wait till she convinces you that she is a V. If she is Hispanic and from a traditional family...walk away- the wait could be years.

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  • I would definitely dump a guy if he was not going to have sex with me. I am not making any kind of life time commitment to a guy who may or may not suck in bed or might have a low sex drive. It would be a miserable marriage. I don't see the point.

    If it's a religious thing then fine but I am not religious so I would not date a really religious guy anyway. You should try to date guys with the same belief as you. I only date guys who have the same belief as mine.

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    • He said he believed as I did...but it changed in the end. Thanks for responding.

    • I am sorry to hear that he lied to you. That is was wrong of him to do that.

  • Wow! I'm the same way. I wanna wait till marraige to have sex because of my religious beliefs too. And nothing is gonna shake me from that decision. Its MY body and I decide what I do with it. Lots of guys I date won't be happy with that. They can walk away if they want to. And @ redbull, yeah I'm special in every way and I'd be damned before I give my body to a f***ed-up idiot like you. You're so used to cheap sluts with bodies full of STDs that you're too stupid to realize that not every girl is that. Unfortunately for you, those are the only girls that would stoop so low as to date you

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    • Congratulations on standing for what you believe. I know there are Men out there who share the same belief and will respect our decisions. Thanks for responding. There are so many nice guys out there who know how to be Gentlemen and treat us like Ladies.

    • I applaud you! It's kind of hard for me to find a girl who's willing to wait until marriage! I feel the same way that you do. My religious beliefs also tell me to wait! Nice to meet a girl who feels the same way!

  • Hmm this question reminds me of a couple I used to know in college. When I was a freshman they'd been together for about 2 years already, she had the same beliefs you described, seemed like a good person too... the guy didn't share those beliefs but endured anyway. When I was in third year (I guess that makes like 5 years they'd been together) she dumped him. It was like the greatest trolling ever, lol, it was funny.

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    • My goodness she dumped him? You never know what happens in relationships. Thanks for responding.

    • yeah well I did feel a little sorry for him since he waited like 5 years for nothing and became like the laughing stock of his colleagues with all the crude jokes and whatnot... but no one forced him to date her right? so there

  • It is her body, her sexual health, her emotional health, and her choice that she has to live with so it is her decision to make and not his. If a guy can't respect that, then he doesn't deserve you. Many guys are pigs. They act like they are entitled to sex and come up with all of these bullsh*t reasons as to why they "need" sex. You have the right to say no to sex if you choose to :)

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    • He told me he could not handle the no sex and went back to his old girlfriend. It hurt, but I respected his decision and moved on. It is my body and I say no until I am married. Thanks for your reply.

    • That's bullsh*t. He's an idiot and you're better without him.

  • I was 14 when I started dating my boyfriend. He asked for sex a little while into the relationship. I told him I was waiting for marriage and if he didn't agree with that then he could leave. I'm 19 now. I'm still with the same boy from when I was 14. We're still virgins. So...I guess he's waiting it out. But most guys'll leave.

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    • Congratulations on sticking to your morals. I applaud both of you. Thanks for your responding.

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