During a seminar lecture on cultural anthropology, one speaker asked, "why wouldn't two people get married?" The entire panel responded, "that's not the question; the question is not 'why wouldn't' someone do something, but 'why would' someone do something; the correct question we should be asking is 'why are people getting married?'"
Studies found, that at least among men, the four most common reasons were because of pressure from: (1) family, (2) society, (3) their partner, or (4) some other indirect source. Many men initially felt ashamed to admit they only though about marriage because of external pressures, and instead tried to use masking justifications to persuade the interviewer that marriage was not the result of any external pressures. However, those justifications again stemmed from the main four external pressures: "you can't just start a family without getting married, I don't want my children to be bastards" (family); "that's just what people do" (society); "because I don't want my partner to feel like I don't love her; people who really love each other get married" (partner); "because I'm mature enough as a man to want to settle down at this point in my life" (identity; external pressure).
Also interesting, except for legal professionals, no other man that was interviewed described marriage as a "contract, legal relationship," or "financial relationship." Men who were already married eluded to these concepts by describing the "potential legal" or "potential financial liability" in the event of a divorce. However, most unmarried men did not use language even suggesting potential legal or financial liability, nor language suggesting that marriage was in any way a financial or legal union.
I'm curious to hear how men on GaG feel. Without getting cynical or negative and turning this into a emotional rant, and also without stoking your emotional ego-penis on how "good" and altruistic of a person you are ... how do you feel towards marriage ... and most importantly ... why?
- I feel pressured toVote A
- My girlfriend expects me toVote B
- I genuinely want to get married because ...Vote C
- My family expects me toVote D
- Society expects me toVote E
Most Helpful Guy
I got married because I was in love, happy and wanted it to last forever.
I.e.I had no understanding of what legally getting married really means.4