Will it be wrong of me to not attend his wedding?

Well he's married already, they're only renewing their vows with an extravagant cerenony. They've been married 2 years and during the second year, we met, became fast friends and he admitted to being incredibly attracted to me. We didn't have sex until after a whole ten months though, because he dudnt want to cheat, and felt sure he wanted to make his marriage work, even though they had many problems. I was the girl he escaped to, the person he shared his hopes and dreams and anxieties with. Also the sexual undercurrents that only got more intense. When we finally had sex, it was during a time he was convinced his marriage was over and a separation was underway. And we stopped having sex when his wife said she wanted to work things out and he said to me that he couldn't just walk out on her. We continued to hang as friends after, and he said he was going to fully commit to making his marriage work and that included giving her the great big wedding she's always wanted. I felt so heartbroken, even though I never let on the extent of my feelings for him, because it dudnt feel like I had any business doing that to a married man. Although I did become one if his closest friends and a really important person in his inner circle. Now His wedding's next month, and I'm meant to be a part of it, but I could never go. The thought makes me sick, and I've started to feel quite used in all this. He sent me some pretty strong signals, only to go do something like this. I don't even feel like offering up an explanation for why I won't be there, I've decided to just completely back off. I need to feel valued more, and I don't see any other way to do this. I need for him to recognize my worth. But will I completely burn bridges with him by not being part of such an important event in his life? I'm don't want to completely lose him as a friend and I'm afraid that if I let too much time pass he won't feel any attachment toward me. What do I do?


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  • He's married. You're the other woman. As long as he's married he won't be fully emotionally available to you. You know this. Him inviting you is disrespectful to his wife. He's picked his wife over you and left you to pick up the pieces by yourself. Your choice on what you want to do. Good luck.

  • its too bad sex was involved because it sounds like you two had a really good friendship. Unfortunately sex can ruin things. No, I don't think it would be bad of you not to go to the wedding. He should know better and he should know the reason why you don't want to go. He sounds like he's old enough to know better. He also sounds like a douchbag, pardon the expression. I mean, the guy was only married for a couple years to his wife and already he cheated. It makes me wonder if he really loves her at all. I've sort of been in this predicament before, although we never got physical. I don't see being his friend as the wrong thing to do but you HAVE to set a boundry and let the guy know you're not going to be his go to girl. Platonic friends only. If you two have that much attraction for each other, and it sounds like you have, then it might be best to cut ties altogether. You might be dreaming that this guy will come around and realize you're the one for him. At this point and time I don't think that's going to happen.