Waiting until marriage for sex?

Is it a turn off to guys if girls want to wait until marriage to have sex? What's the best way to go about telling a guy that?... or Is it a turn off if you find out a girl is a virgin? What's the best way for a girl to tell a guy that she's a virgin?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not to me. I'm waiting until after marriage. If people did this more often, then there would be fewer relationship issues and people would be more mature about relationships (due to the older age). If people waited until after marriage for sex, then they would more likely be focusing less on looks than character and personality, and people would not cheat as much.

    Everybody has a first time. It is better for the girl to be a virgin than for the girl to have slept with a bunch of different guys.

    The best way for a girl to tell a guy that she is a virgin is just that. Communication. There is no mincing words and trying to go around it. If the girl feels that she needs to tell him, then she should just tell him. But she doesn't need to tell him. She can also just not say anything.

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    • Thanks! I agree with several of your comments. It's always nice to hear about guys that want to wait until marriage also. Sometimes it doesn't seem like any guys want to wait.

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    • Yes! Men should be gentlemen and women should be ladies. We should be the best that we can be (This idea belongs to Coach John Wooden, a very good person).

    • Thanks for the best answer.

What Guys Said 4

  • Yes, a big turn off. Sex is a big part of the relationship, and to fully commit to someone before you even attempt a big part of the relationship is overall, a big problem. If this were me, I would end the relationship once the girl told me this. This is not being shallow, or overly horny, this is because I need to know how it feels to have sex with a person before I marry them. Marriage is a MUCH bigger thing to me than sex, and if it's not as big of a deal to you, and sex is a bigger deal, the relationship will not work, cut an dry.

    Virginity on the other hand, it's not a turn off if she's not a virgin, and it is a turn on if she is. Not a big turn on mind you, just a slight one.

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  • a new bicycle > a used bicycle

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  • Total turn off for me. Waiting for marriage to have sex, I'd rather sign a petition as an organ donor and shoot myself.

    The best way you could bring up to a guy that you're a Virgin is to actually tell him in private. Go up to him in private and tell him "I think you're very cute, I like the way you behave around me, but I'd like you to know that I'm still a virgin."

    - Done

    How hard is it?

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  • It's fine with me. It is a million times better than all of the slutty girls out there.

    Just wait until you're comfortable enough around the guy to say this stuff to.

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    • I agree. I would rather be known as "the virgin" than "the slut".

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    • Could always use more.

      Anyway, good luck. Hope you find someone that feels the same way about it as you do. :)

    • Thanks! Same to you! :-)

What Girls Said 3

  • I'm the "waiting till marriage unless I meet someone I have an instant connection with" girl. I've been seeing a guy recently and last night as we began to fool around, I told him I've never done this (heavy making out) before. He looked surprised and asked me what was the furthest I've gone before. I guess I didn't give off the "virgin" vibe since I'm pretty comfortable with my body and I have a curious mind.

    Any way, I felt so relieved to get that fact off my shoulders. I could tell he was thinking it through in his mind and then he told me his "first time story" haha, and that basically opened the door to confessions, secrets, personal stories etc. We had pillow talk for about an hour or so and he said he was going to be my teacher and that whenever I wanted to lose it was up to me.

    So basically I'm saying it depends on the guy. If you find a good guy who wants an emotional connection and cares about you, he won't care. maybe even flattered.

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    • You sharing that story makes me feel so much better about how I feel about this topic! I'm the same type of girl as you. I've been talking to a guy and I told him I was a virgin and he said he was fine with waiting until I was ready. I felt good about that and was glad he was OK with waiting. But now he's barely talking to me. I'm afraid telling him I'm a virgin and wanted to wait ruined things for us. :(

    • I even told him he was the first guy that I felt could maybe be the guy I would be ready with. I thought he was different than the other guys I've dated. Now I'm not so sure...

    • hmmm how long have you been dating him?

  • As a woman, I think sex and intimacy are important elements towards a healthy relationship. I couldn't imagine just kissing and cuddling with a boyfriend for years. I'll all for waiting for meaningful relationship when it's the right time but not waiting till marriage.

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  • I'm sure it's a turn off for many but also a turn on for many.

    It's much harder to find a boyfriend when you tell them that you expect them to be a virgin as well. Then they get butthurt over it and call you a bitch. :P

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