Clueless or uninterested?

I cannot believe I'm doing this, but I really need a guys take.

I have been seeing a guy for about two months and we started out very smitten with one another. He works construction and has a farm and when we met it was still cold out so he didn't have work. Within the past month the weather has warmed up so we haven't been seeing as much. We went from twice a week to once a week/week and a half. I'm not too fazed, he is very busy and we still talk daily. I've been a little hurt he hasn't tried to make more time for me, but I honestly don't think he know he's "supposed" to. I think he sees work that needs done and that is what he focuses on and it is not personal or intentional at all. Despite not seeing one another as much, the times we do see each other, it's very nice and he still seems very much into me.

I feel like he is a little clueless at times though. I think there are a lot of times he could have "fit" me in but I think he feels like it's all or nothing...like we have to go out and doesn't think about getting together just to relax and watch tv. He finally invited me up to his farm yesterday and it was after I texted him and told him I was near it and thought about dropping in to say hi but he as at work. He called me and invited me over. I truly don't think he even realized I had any interest in coming to his house. He invited me once a week into our dating and I didn't wind up going because I was afraid of meeting his dad and didn't want to leave my dog at home so he came to my house. I think he has just continued to assume I am not interested in coming to his house. We had a very nice time but I am worried I did something a bit stupid.

He had a wedding invitation on the table and was talking about the wedding he is going to on Saturday. I guess as a female I associate with weddings with romance and I was hoping he would ask me to accompany him. I kept dropping hints saying I haven't been to a wedding in awhile and it seemed like a great time and I was jealous, I bet he looks good in a suit, I have a great dress I bought for a friends wedding and didn't wind up wearing it, etc. He either didn't get it or did and chose to ignore it. I honestly feel kind of clingy and desperate though and I am trying to convince myself he just didn't get it. I hate that feeling of regret after fearing I look "psycho."

I have a very low self esteem and constantly need assurance. I want to ask him where this is going because he confuses me so much but that would worsen things and put unnecessary pressure I feel. I think he's kind of shy and clumsy on the dating front and maybe he needs as much assurance as I do at times but I have recently been questioning is he clueless or just not interested?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He was clueless. If you just keep on dropping hints, most of the time, it won't be perceived how you want to be perceived as such.

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