How much is an appropriate wedding gift?

I am in NYC and the venue was somewhat fancy even though the wedding was small. The groom is a friend I have known for over a decade.

I brought a date and gave him $300. Is this appropriate?

I was also invited to another wedding which I could not make, but I attended the pre-wedding ceremony. To that friend, I sent a check for $100. Is this ok?

Thanks. I just remember that a friend said he gave about $400 one time to a couple, so I wasn't sure if my 300 was OK. I used to give a $100 per person, but that was going back about 15 years ago.


Most Helpful Girl

  • it sounds good


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What Girls Said 4

  • It depends on how long you've known the person, I think. If you've known them for a long time, a few hundred should suffice. If you've only known them for a few years, maybe just one hundred. I'm not sure how those things work but it seems like a good rule of thumb.

    • I have known him for 11 yrs. Yes, I use 100 per person a bare benchmark. I gave him 300 total and I brought a date. So that is 150 per person. I hop that is fair.

      In addition, I flew to his bachelor party and during the party, I believe my party and I paid for his portion of the main dinner.

  • that sounds pretty reasonable to me:)

  • I think it was cool, since they will be able to buy what they want. like a gift certificate but to every shop haha

  • In my culture a thousand is a bare minimum for friends.

    Family goes all out on this and numbers sometimes reach 100s of thousands. (Depends how wealthy the family is.)

    But only for your first wedding.

    Weddings are means to start of the couple onto a new life more easily. Since it is a tradition, that ensures people's lives in a way, no one dares break it since it might backlash onto their own wedding, or that of their kid.

    I don't know. I guess every culture has it's ways.

    • wow..may I ask what culture? Thanks.

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    • Close.

      I told you it depends on the family though.

      Turks seem to have a similar custom, because my cousin married a Turkish girl. Their family (almost all rich) basically afforded them an apartment and a car and a bunch in the savings account.

      My family went from 1000 for distant relatives up to 8-10000 euro for close relatives.

      While my cousin's friends (he lives in Wienna) went with 500 euro, or less.

    • Also it's quite interesting how people time their weddings so that the guests have time to prepare financially. Of course those who are very poor are allowed to break the custom, but most of them of average standing, are not excused. Sometimes even those who are poor, refuse to be exempt.

      My female cousin lived with her boyfriend for 4 years, waiting to get married, in order to create a time distance between her own, my aunt's and my brother's wedding. They literally met up and agreed on this.

What Guys Said 2

  • iunno bro. I'm about to buy a coworker a gift costing $500 just because it's their birthday and I've only known them 2 years.

    If he's your friend for 10 years, its the THOUGHT that counts. I can buy anything I want personally, but if you buy me something I really want but won't buy myself, that is much better

    • Man, you making me feel like I should have given them that $400 after all. But I appreciate your 2 cents.

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    • 100 is a bit small. if its a venue in new york even if its small I imagine it to be 75 per seat and 75 as a gift. That's what I would do. 100 is standard, 150 is if I like my friend.

      The first wedding with the date amount is fine though

    • well, to clarify 100 is for the wedding that I did NOT attend. I merely went to a pre-wedding party.

  • That's more than enough