Why do I keep expecting my ex to come back?

I cheated on her. I chose to leave her. I wanted to break it off. It was my decision. I decided to choose the girl I cheated with as my fiance. But I still feel like she will walk through the door and we will go to the market and buy a bunch if junk food and watch movies at "our" apartment. We would roller skate over there and she used to live with me. We went out for like 5 months but good friends for at least 2 years prior. I can't shake this feeling off. I do love my fiance. But I keep on thinking about my ex even if it has been 3 years. She moved on as well and moved out of town. I think of her more than ever now. I kinda miss her and when I think of love now I think of her. I see her everywhere and keep on thinking of her when me and my fiance have you know fun time alone. She was more fit, more of a gowith the flow girl, down for anything anytime, more of an open person, kept on telling me I did not have to clean or cook because she would do that and not that strict on who I am with she trusted me. But my fiance keeps me bounded to her and makes me do whatever she wants or she will guilt trip me. These feelings for my ex started getting more worse when I proposed to my fiance. Why is this happening? She never even knew I loved her in the first place.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you jumped the gun on your proposal. If you're having this many mixed emotions, I'd say that's a pretty good possibility. I'm engaged as well, at moments I have less than good feelings about it, but never about other men. I don't feel like I should be beside anyone but him. I'm also 28 though, and this is my third LTR, amongst a few short term ones as well. I've done my fair share of dating and I have a much better idea of what I want/who I am, than I did when I was 21-24. If your age on your profile is true, you are pretty young to be tieing the knot. Why in a such a hurry? Take your time figuring out your emotions, but remember there was a reason you left her (even though you cheated, that was pretty crappy of you) and that this long after the breakup your brain tricks you into only thinking of the good because you miss that person. The bad stuff just floats right out of your head. If you were with her again though, those same ole problems would surely surface again. It still alarms me you think of the ex SO much. If my man was having these thoughts about his ex, I would doubt his commitment and love for me, and that is something I NEVER want to doubt.

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    • Congrats on your engagement! I am 23 turning 24 next month. I just feel like if I don't do this I will end up forever alone and this is what she wanted to do. She gave me an ultimatum that if we don't get married soon shed walk. I cheated because I didn't want to be tied down. I wanted to experience and play. I fell for my fiance though I felt alive when I was with her then it just happened we had an open relationship. Then she let herself go. I told her I would stick by her.

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What Girls Said 4

  • You're just unhappy with your fiance because your former girlfriend treated you the way you wanted to be treated. I can see why your fiance doesn't trust you since you were willing to cheat on your last girlfriend (who sounds really great by the way). That's one of the many reasons why you shouldn't cheat.

    Please don't bother your former girlfriend. I doubt (and she probably would too) that you even loved her if you were able to cheat on her. You don't even sound like you feel the slightest bit of guilt (in fact you sound self-entitled). Don't make things worse for her. She sounds like a great girl and deserves better.

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  • because you loved her

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  • becasue you still ahve feelings for her

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  • because you want her, why else?

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