Feeling a little pressured

My fiancé and I are planning on getting married in the near future. We have not set a date yet but we have already began discussing some of the details of the wedding. He comes from a very strong catholic family and he wants a very traditional church wedding. I have no problem with that part. The part that is of some concern is that I have no one to walk me down the aisle. Since he wants traditional, he is adamant that I have a male relative give me away. The problem is that my biological father has never been in my life and I wouldn't feel comfortable for him to give me away when I barely know him. My grandfather is getting old and has a lot of physical problems and I am not sure he could even get down the aisle. I have 2 brothers but they aren't even teens yet but there is no one else. The only person that is left is my mother but he says it cannot be her since she is not a male. What do I do? I love my man and want to please him but I don't have many options here. I believe his family is somewhat behind this as well cause his mom is very pushy and she wants to be in charge of everything. Also since he is catholic I am going to have to go through all the premarital counseling before hand. His family insists.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Listen, it CAN be your mother because it's your wedding and you're the bride. Under the circumstances you mentioned I can't see why your finance is troubled by that. That will make your mother so happy and it will be a day for you to remember all your life. If he wants a happy bride on her wedding day then that's exactly who you should choose. There are no rules in the Catholic Church about who gives the bride away. This traditional thing isn't all that important. Because of your circumstances the people at the wedding will think how beautiful that was that you chose your mother. You just tell the priest how it's going to be done and why. It is not going to mess up your wedding or make it not be a traditional church wedding. It would be an entirely different matter if you had a dad that was involved in bringing you up or some other special man that you'd want to take his place but that's not the case. Or if you had a mom and dad but wanted your mom to give you way. I think you're really sweet and respectful to your fiancé about going through all the premarital counseling before hand because those will help your marriage so much. You know, I think your husband is being a little overly proud by insisting you have a man like even some male relative, and maybe he thinks it'll be embarrassing to him or look out of place. But there's no reason for that. His strong Catholic background should have nothing to do with your choice of who gives you away. You tell him if he wants to truly make you happy on your wedding day he should let YOU make that choice. If I were you I wouldn't give in one bit because his request are hurtful to you... and senseless. Stick to your guns and you'll find out he'll eventually see it your way and be happy he did. Ask him to show you where it's necessary for you to HAVE a male give you away, but make sure he's quoting some source that's more up to date than a couple hundred years ago when fathers owned their daughters so other customs prevailed. Those customs have changed with the times. A few years ago I was at a church wedding where the finance had chosen his best girl "friend" be his best man. He happened to have a twin brother that was present and they always got along great. This girl's parents had helped him out a lot when he was younger so they became close "friends": with each other. .The bride respected his wishes. By the way. The marriage was in a Catholic Church. Have someone talk to you fiancé about that. Having another party talk with him other than you will help greatly. I wish you the best of luck.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think they have to realize your situation. I think your mom should do it. Marriage is all about compromise - now's his turn.

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What Girls Said 2

  • make your mom walk you, his family can't really judge you for that and if they do that is their problem

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  • just asj your mom to do it just like yadda said, he can't be that judgemental

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