Do you think marriages are better today than they were 50 years ago and why?

(Below is my argument in favour of the question but you can ignore it, just explain your answers to the question)

Today sex before marriage and divorce is more acceptable. The fact that less people divorced in the past doesn't mean they were all in happy marriages(you only have to look at third world countries) so I think it's a good thing as it tests whether people really want to be in that relationship. The role of women in society and in a marriage has changed and domestic abuse has gone down and is much more looked down upon compared to the past.

  • They're better now
    10% (2)4% (1)6% (3)Vote
  • Worse now
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  • Other
    5% (1)7% (2)6% (3)Vote
  • It's hard to compare
    30% (6)22% (6)26% (12)Vote
  • See results
    5% (1)0% (0)2% (1)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Generally speaking, no.

    Honestly, I think these things that supposedly determine "compatibility" have done more to hurt than to help marriages. From what I've observed of that, people today think that the relationship should sustain itself rather than through effort, humility, and mutual sacrifice.

    Something else I observe is that couples love each other for how they want their partner to be and not as they are: a flawed human being. I hear people say things like "You can't really know a person until you do x, y, and z." Honestly, I don't buy into that. Again, that just tells me that in a relationship, the guy and girl see the ideal at first, only to become disappointed and disillusioned when they see less than the ideal.

    Also, general cultural changes have had their share of effects as well. For example, more women are working. As such, they are under less financial pressure to stay in a marriage that is abusive, unfaithful, or otherwise less than satisfying.

    And finally, I'll probably get in trouble for this, but such is the price of truth, I think all these things like premarital sex, contraception, and abortion have also done a number on the institution of marriage and cultural beliefs regarding it. If you ask me, there are reasons why the divorce rate has been so much higher since the Sexual Revolution of the late 1960s.

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What Girls Said 9

  • D you think marriages are better today than they were 50 years ago and why?

    C. Other

    To me it depends on the gender:

    For gals, it's better due to rape and domestic violence laws as well as the lessen of divorce stigma leading to gals not staying in effed up relationships due to being financially dependent on the guy

    For guys it's worse as they no longer have full control/domination of their wife, can't legally or socially treat her as property, can't legally rape/beat her and have it swept under the rug, he isn't the master/king of the house but a partner as in most households the wife doesn't depend on her husband for financial survival, and he is expected to contribute equally to household and childcare duties. As well as thanks to the patriarchy bs gender roles as guys as providers and gals as caregivers guys get buttf*cked on child custody and alimony.

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  • I voted D. I wasn't alive 50 years ago so I have no idea how to compare it. Although I do feel like divorce is way "too" common these days. No one wants to work on their relationship and try to fix it, they just break up. I don't plan on getting married until I've been in a relationship with someone long enough to know who they really are (at least 5 years for me) and to know if they are really compatible with me. Too many people get married really young and too soon before they truly get to know the person. That's the biggest problem with marriages today that I can think of.

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  • It is just that social changes have made it easier for women to escape relationships that they are not necessarily fulfilled in. People still love as deeply, and are committed to each other as much as they always have been.

    There are other parts of today's society that will 'potentially' harm a relationship or cause strain. Women are more career-driven today, with more things being open to us. A lot of us aren't willing to settle down fulfilling the doting wife role - simply taking care of kids and cooking for their husband. I actually quite like that idea, but a lot of people are more independent than they where in the past and have realized "I don't need no man!".

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    • men are also noticing the down side of marrage. through TV shwos and comedians husbands and even fathers seem not to be important role for a man as it once was.

      link here's a more detailed video about what I'm going on about.

  • I think it is way worse

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  • way worse now!! now its just pretty much a joke...

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  • Better for women. At least marital rape is now a crime.

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    • okay so you're going down that road...Research from the UK suggests that almost 3% of men reported a non-consensual sexual experience as adults and over 5% of men reported sexual abuse as a child. This does not take into account the possibility of underreporting.

      Much like female erectile response, male erectile response is involuntary, meaning that a man need not be aroused for his penis to become erect and be placed in a woman's vagina; mechanical stimulation is all that is necessary.

    • I clearly put marital rape. Congrats, you can't read.

  • Actually I have seen a lot of cohabition, rarely do I see people get married that I know. My sister is married but my friends who have children are not married and are shacking up and are in long term relationships, even people who I don't know personally, one of the partners admitted that they do not want to get married. I see long term relationships more often than I see marriages, I don't know how it was 50 years ago but this is my experience thus far, I am single with no children though.

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  • I voted D.

    There are so many differences and the entire mentality surrounding marriage is different now.

    That being said, people don't stay together anymore like they used to. Does that mean the marriages were better back then? Not necessarily.

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    • but people were more committed. we live in a society where people just love change. we change our phones frequently, we buy new clothes frequently, etc... relationships have become like that a lot. But saying that there's some people out there who will stay committed to one person. But it would be interesting to see what the statistics are for divorce in countries like the USA, Australia, UK, and other European Countries.

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    • yeah I'm just saying what I think and happened to post it under yours sorry :p

    • No worries at all :-)

  • No, I think people nowadays rely to much on divorce, sometimes you can fix what is broken

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    • But to even consider divorce the relationship must have been pretty bad

What Guys Said 11

  • Its a bit of a yes and no type of thing. What you said about sex before marriage and divorce are more acceptable which is very true but recent study, there has been more infidelity reasons why marriages fall apart along with financial reasons following second.

    Over the past 50 years, Women don't need to depend on men like they used to before then, Both men and women go to work instead of being a stay home parent.

    With this, Married couples are given more options and more chances to make sure their relationship/marriage work out for the best.

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    • Did the study say infidelity was increasing or that it was the top reason couples divorce?

    • It was among the top reasons next to financial , I read it about it last year.

  • My Aunt and Uncle have been married for 60 years. They went to high school together. Two of my regulars at work have been married for 64 years. They, too, went to school together. Back then, you had to stay together. Had to fight through it. Thus they did. And they're still happily together. They care about each other. Today, it's a miracle if people can stay together for more than 10-15 years. My parents couldn't. Marriage takes a REAL commitment, and when two people don't work through the mud together, don't work as a team, it's never going to work. Especially when it's so normalized for people to just divorce, meet other people, and keep the cycle going. It's too "easy" to live by yourself.

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  • Far worse, people don't even care for marriage anymore. The reason people get married now is only because it feels like a cultural norm and they're expected to do it. It doesn't really hold any significance to them and the marriage vows don't really mean anything. Marriage today for most people is basically like a massive ponzi scheme that people only feel compelled to follow because they think they need to do it.

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  • Worse.

    People are rushing marriage left and right and not getting to know each other before getting married. They both have to work so their children know their babysitter better than their parents. They're having kids before marriage and at a time when they are unable to provide for the child.

    After divorce a mother becoming single has to force the next guy to deal with custody issues and the fact that the ex is constantly in the picture. Single mothers are now extremely common nowadays.

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  • It seems like there are more divorces these days. So, I think it's worst. At least in the United States. I don't know about any other countries.

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  • Yes. I think relationships are more balance and honest in many ways. I think that provide in inkling of an opportunity for real love, though most people won't get it, just as most people will get divorced. It may lead to disaster, but at least they won't be living a lie.

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  • WORSE.

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  • definitely worse and here is one of the main reasons why which most guys think but dare not say:

    50 years ago the whole world was bias towards men, jobs were EXREMELY sexist and most women were raised with the intention of being stay at home housewives anyway. They couldn't even vote remember. men could literally say "hey darling make me a sandwich" and she would without any arguments because it was seen as being a 'good wife'.

    All the reasons mentioned in the question also contribute to why marriage is worse. Women have equality to men today so they would find it harder to be attached to/married to the same guy throughout their entire lives; whereas they basically couldn't turn back once they 'took the plunge' 50 years ago

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  • It is of my opinion that marriages are not what they were 20-40 years ago. Divorce and Separations are an easy out letting you off of working out your problems together, learning and loving, giving and taking. That an more acceptable casual/group sex and open relationships.

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  • Independence of women in terms of jobs means that they no longer are required to obey their husband.

    50 years ago, if women stayed at home and looked after the children and may be were victims of some domestic violence occasionally then they certainly got the fruit of this hardwork. A healthy and stable relationship for all of their life. You can ask any 75 year old couple, and they will stop praising each other.

    Nowadays, just to start with, if a mother is doing job and the child get failed in school or gets poor marks, then both father and mother start blaming each other. Before marriage you don't have responsibilities and can never know each other truely.

    If I had to choose one, I will choose to live 50 years ago. Simply because my wife would agree with me. She will not tell me: "I go to office, I do this, I do that" or "you were not like that before marriage". She will just take care of my children. She will take care of me.

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    • EDIT : You can ask any 75 year old couple, and they will never stop praising each other.

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    • why should women do all the sacrificing? and women did NOT have equal respect back then, they were assumed to be naturally less intelligent and less capable,...they only got admiration for obeying their husbands orders, that's not a relationship, that's a form of slavery, cheating had to be tolerated because the women had no option and abuse was far more common than you say, it's only been maybe 60-70 years since wife beating has gone out of fashion.

    • Obey their husband what are they husband's slaves?

  • The problem with modern marriages is that people are doing 3 things wrong:

    -Getting married to young

    -Getting married to soon in the relationship

    -Getting married to the wrong person or for the wrong reasons.

    This is why the divorce rate is so high. I think most of the marriage problems come from younger adults (20-25) rather than older adults (26-35). Getting married at 21 with someone you have only been in a relationship for 2 years with and have had constant problems with is not planning to look successful. Marriage should only be because you are willing to be committed to your partner till death, and committed here means through both GOOD and BAD. If a married couple is having issues, that doesn't mean straight up divorce. Both partners are supposed to work together to solve the issue. Some people seem to forget this.

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    • Is this is exclusively a modern problem?

      I know my parents and grandparents got married early before they were 20. I don't see the same happening as much now but it still exists.

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