OK for married woman to stay in hotel with male?

My wife is planning to attend a reunion of her old classmates from years ago. The occasion is that one guy (W) is paying a rare visit to another guy (X) in X's home town. Nothing wrong with that, but it gradually became clear that

1. W, X, and my wife are the only ones attending.

2. The "reunion" is scheduled for a whole weekend (2 days and a night).

3. X has booked rooms for the others (W and my wife) in a local hotel.

I don't know whether W is married or what, but apparently he is traveling alone.

At first it seemed like the reunion would be a large group, but since X lives locally, it seems inevitable that W and my wife are going to be alone together for a lot of the time, including in the hotel.

The question is: do people think it's appropriate for a married woman to go on an overnight trip with another male. Or does it depend on the number of males and whether they are married?

Updates:
BTW, I know that X exists. My wife has called him a couple of times recently, though most of their contact was by email, etc. (I used to know both W and X in the old days but not well.) I also believe that some other classmates were invited but are not going.
As my wife says, they are in single rooms. That makes it OK, right?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • OK for married woman to stay in hotel with male?

    Yes in my opinion as the general consensus seems that it's okay for a married guy to go to a strip club paying to see gals take off their clothes. So if paying for sexual titillation is okay I don't see how staying in a hotel with a guy for another purpose is off bounds.

    Or does it depend on the number of males and whether they are married?

    To me it doesn't depend on the number of guys or whether they're married.

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    • I'm quite sure she doesn't have any "other purpose" in mind. Her plan (being a female) is to talk (about old times, etc.). However, I'm not at all sure about the guy (being a male). How long are they going to talk and where? In their student days, they all used to meet in each others' rooms (quite innocently, apparently)...

    • So as I said it's okay to me.

What Girls Said 8

  • Here's something else: if I were X and this were legit, these people would all be crashing at my house and spouses would be invited. Just a thought. Hotel makes more sense if spouses come along, simply because of space. Two friends in town, who aren't romantically attached? Definitely stay at my house...facilitates late night talks and drinking better anyhow.

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  • I'm sorry, but my gut is saying there is no X. This story seems so bizarre and fishy. Hope I'm wrong, but I would do some major snooping and try to get to the bottom of this. I wouldn't confront without proof; anyone who cheats is already lying, so I wouldn't expect them to come clean when confronted.

    I travel for work at times, many times with men, married or unmarried. It's no big deal...different rooms, no hanging out in the hot tub together or anything fishy.

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  • 100 times NO! Unless the male is her husband,father,brother,grandfather or son.

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  • I think that should be fine, but I could understand her feeling uncomfortable.

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  • It's really not up to us to decide if it's okay. You as the Husband, if you are uncomfortable, that is all that matters and no sharing of rooms. With that said, HELL NO, no female should be sharing a hotel room with a Guy, the Guys...what ever. That is inappropriate behavior. Not sure why you're not going with your wife, I'm quite sure you have your reasons but if you are that uncomfortable, I'm quite sure that your wife will understand and respect that.

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    • They will have separate rooms, of course! However, it will be just those two in the same hotel, and they need to talk, so...

  • It could lead to something else. I wouldn't let her

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  • Why aren't you going too?

    Anyways, I think if you trust your wife, it'll be fine. Has she given you any reason to doubt her in the past? What I'm trying to say is, if you raise a stink about this, she'll just think you don't trust her and get offended. Show her you trust her and remind her how lucky she is to have such a great husband.

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    • 1. It seems that spouses are not invited, except X's,

      2. I don't have much in common with them.

  • I don't know, on the one hand you should trust your partner, on the other, I still think it's reasonable to expect people in a relationship to conduct themselves more prudently in situations like this and regard their SO's feelings on the matter.

    in this case it seems like you have every right to object, even if it's completely innocent, she's really pushing the boundaries of trust.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I hate these questions because in a perfect world, yes, it's fine. You got married because you love and trust your wife and should have no doubts she will remain loyal.

    The truth of the matter is I know far to many stories of married men and women who cheat while on a vacation away from their spouse. Vacations are a brake from the real world and people who would never otherwise do so give in to temptation while traveling. It happens ALLOT.

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  • That's shady as f***. No it is not appropriate.

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  • NO, its never okay. Besides, you should be going to this reunion with your wife. Don't be naive dude. Under NO circumstances is this okay...ever. Your wife shouldn't put herself, or you in this position. Bottomline...I'm more worried that your wife is seemly okay with the plans, and isn't shy about telling you what's going on. Very fishy man.

    I can tell you that from the successful marriages I've witnessed between my grandparents, and parents who have been happily married a combined 140 yrs. This kind of thing would NEVER be an option, or even thought of in either of their minds...EVER.

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    • @update. No..changes nothing.

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    • My grandparents have been to all of their HS reunions, and the spouses were invited every time. Something's not right.

    • Well, it's not an official reunion. It's a few old classmates getting together because one of them is in town. My wife often attends "gatherings" with her (female) friends, and I don't attend those either...

  • Sounds absolute bullsh*t.

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    • Re : Update : No that doesn't make it okay! What, they can't walk from one room to another?!?

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