I have been dating this girl for almost a year, in early October we'll have our first anniversary. This fall, I moved away to grad school 4 hours away, and I have been wanting to end the relationship for awhile.
A couple weekends ago, my best friend got married and I was a groomsman and brought her along to the wedding. Something about a weekend of marriage stuff with her long term boyfriend brought out her inner thoughts of marriage. She's started joking around with the idea of a ring being her anniversary present.
Meanwhile, not only do I not want to get married (I'm only 23 and still in school!) but I want to break up. I don't think I'm in love with this gal, and while she is cool, she certainly isn't the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
This will be the first serious relationship that I will be the one to end, and I am finding out that I completely lack the ability to do so! She certainly isn't going to be the one to do it, she wants to be together forever.
Most Helpful Girl
bad situation, its unfair of her to hint around like that for a ring when she's barely been with you a year and you haven't talked about it in a serious conversation together.
i would use the excuse about you moving four hours away from her and that you are deciding to focus all of your efforts on doing the best you can at school as you aren't doing too well recently due to focusing half of your time on a long distance relationship as the reason to break up with her. it may not be true but it will seem like a legitimate reason for her and will be less hurtful than telling her you don't want to marry her or she's not the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
if she then presses it and clings on saying she will move closer or something then I would let her know that you don't feel ready to commit to marriage and that the relationship is moving too fast and you are too young and feeling pressured. Again don't mention that you don't see her as the type of person you want to spend you life with as that's hurtful and implying you just don't like her rather than not liking her in addition to not being ready
if she still clings then you might have to cut all contact with her until she gives up pestering you and tell her that you aren't willing to deal with your ex harassing you and that you expected her to be more mature about it.
do it face to face, there's nothing worse than being dumped over a text message, email or Facebook message.0