I found an interesting online article about why many men avoid marriage. I thought it might start an interesting discussion. Here are the opening and closing paragraphs, with a few selected quotes in between.
"Nowadays, for many men, the negatives of marriage for men often outweigh the positives. Therefore, they engage in it less often. Not because they are bad, not because they are perpetual adolescents, but because they have weighed the pros and cons of marriage in a rational manner and found the institution to be lacking for them. I think women don’t understand how clinical men can be when it comes to analyzing a relationship. (Note: just because we don’t talk about our relationship with you, doesn’t mean we don’t analyze it.) ...
"[W]hen the negatives consistently outweigh the positives, the man will say (to himself), 'You know what? This isn’t worth the hassle. The hell with it.' [...] What’s interesting about all this is that as men grow older, the process becomes a lot quicker—mostly, it should be said, because younger men can put up with almost anything if they’re getting laid. As men get older and sex becomes less important, however, the 'bullsh!t' factor and the tolerance thereof become more important...
"The saddest part of this is that all things being equal, most men actually enjoy being married, and look forward to it...
"The men who are resisting being married are cutting themselves off from all this—and women should ask themselves why this is the case, without resorting to the 'men are just refusing to grow up' bullsh!t. They’re not refusing to grow up: this is the reaction to the constant belittlement and the infantilizing treatment they’ve been exposed to all their lives. "
Full article here: link
This article really struck a chord with me. I'm single and over 30. People I barely know (mostly women) have accused of being too picky, immature, afraid of intimacy, or have used other common shaming tactics to devalue the opinions and feelings of men. link
The truth is, I'm very easy to please ... but I don't tolerate much crap from *anyone*, male or female. And I've gotten more manure than flowers from single women my age ... I go months and months without even trying to date. Sometimes, it's just not worth the hassle to me.
Any thoughts? Lets keep it reasoned and civil. I want to read thoughtful ideas on this. Perhaps read the articles and think about 'em for a few hours before posting a reply.
Most Helpful Guy
I get a giggle out of all the "fear of commitment" things I hear bantered about. I generally hear it from people that I wouldn't want to commit to either.
Been married for 16 years but there are a lot of women I didn't marry along the way. Not the right one and I wasn't willing to compromise.3