Sexual variety vs. marriage: why do men do it?

What is going through a guy's head when he's thinking of marriage? Especially a man with an appetite for sexual variety (as in, likes and fantasises about different kinds of women). Why would you give that up?

- Does it have to do with a fear of ageing and feeling less attractive? Locking someone in as a safety net?

- Does the urge for variety go away when you fall in love?

I'd love some honest answers, please.

Some context:

My 32 y/o boyfriend has recently started talking about marriage. We haven't been together long, but he's already talking about long-term plans, marriage and a family, etc.

I'm not suspicious, but I find it strange. He says he's never been like this before (forward thinking). He's also an extremely sexual man. While we experiment together a lot, he also has an endless list of fantasies (that don't involve me, and would be beyond what I think I am willing to do). And to be honest, I don't even think I'm his type, physically (he loves curves and I am quite petite with small breasts).

While it's a lovely gesture, it doesn't make sense to me. Why would a guy like this want to marry? Or are all men like this, but decide the trade off is greater?

Updates:
Thanks for the feedback (and pep-talks). Really appreciate it, everyone!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because he loves you and wants to spend his life with you. Fantasies don't have to jive with reality.

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What Guys Said 8

  • I think most guys get to a stage when they feel like they should start being serious in looking for a partner, for some that does mean sacrifices. Personally what I've always wanted in life was to find someone I love and who loves me and to get married, have kids etc... I've never actually had a single sexual fantasy, people of course say otherwise about that as in it's weird or whatever...

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  • Anytime someone says they've never been like this before, it's generally a queue that they are lying to make you feel special. It's subtle manipulation...

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  • Depends on the guy. I have been married several times and have gotten the cold shoulder once married. The challenge is over for her. I like the thought of being special to someone. To have had fireworks turn into duds though is difficult.

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  • He must like you alot..

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  • He wants to marry because he loves you

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  • I think that this question is well worth Discussion Because it defines relationships And determines their fate. A woman has to have all that A man Desires For him to be satisfied and not want to have sexual fantasies about anyone else. It isn't always easy to get a woman you love Actually love having nothing to do with sex. And have her be everything sexual that you desire It is something that I have worried about my self It is possible I believe to find such a person Who meets all your sexual needs and desires And emotional needs. At least I hope I am correct I think it varies with what each man wants . For example woman blue eyes blond hair very large but large breasts tight thighs Prepares food cleans the house takes care of children gives oral and anal and intercourse sex. And is essentially perfect for him

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  • Stability, tax breaks, weighing the odds of getting something better in the future, the prospect of kids.

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  • He found what he wants and his sexual fantasies are irrelevant as a result. No guy is going to throw away the perfect girl for him over some desire for sexual variety. Men get better looking with age, so it has nothing to do with that and everything to do with his desire for long-term companionship with you.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I used to feel the way you were speculating. I wondered how I could ever just be with one person instead of going out and doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

    I got a bit older and now at 26 I am feeling as though I'd like that one person to come home to and a stable relationship. While it was fun to do whatever I Wanted I now feel like I'm ready for the next chapter of my life - marriage and kids.

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  • Maybe you're the type of woman he sees himself settled down with

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  • The "type" of woman he's attracted to sexually may not be the kind of woman he wants to settle down with, but you are. We all have a fantasy guy/girl in mind, but that's rarely who we end up marrying. We marry people that we can see ourselves spending a long time with, having kids, etc

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  • It honestly could be a variety of things, but the most likely case is that he actually does love you.

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