Which trait makes a better husband: faithful or good provider?

I feel really stuck right now. My husband is faithful, more than any man I have veer been with. The problem is, he has been chronically unemployed for YEARS and its forcing me to look elsewhere for, what I feel, are things he should be providing. My faith in us having a better financial life is gone...I even spoke of separating and he feels money is a dumb reason to break almost 10 years of being together. I love him for his faithfulness, but I hate him for having no ambition or drive. Is it me being unreasonable, or do I have good reason to bail? So, is a faithful husband better than one who cheats but is a good provider?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Which Trait Makes a Better Husband: Faithful or Good Provider?

    In my opinion a good provider as for me faithfulness in a guy is pretty much useless.

    Is it me being unreasonable, or do I have good reason to bail?

    I don't find it unreasonable to want a partner that is an equal contributor rather than a burden especially if you're in a country where two-income is basically needed for a household.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You never have to accept infidelity.That's always a deal-breaker,no matter how much you could gain financially.

    So how many years has he been unemployed,and how many jobs has he applied for?Does he have employment skills?Should he be re-trained to increase his employment opportunities?Will he accept any work until the right job comes along?

    If you let him know how serious this is,he should want to contribute even if he isn't driven by money and greed.

    • Tried that...your wife shouldn't have to tell you every month things aren't working and to get any job to help us survive. I'm a grad student and work pt, but still look for employment daily and go to interviews. He does nothing; no employment at all in two years. He started community college at 34 like that's enough! I'm tired of being the breadwinner and go getter: HE HAS A TEENAGE SON FOR GOD SAKES...im worried about my future and life sucks with him right now.

  • As a guy, reading posts like these makes me wonder why we'd ever consider marriage.

    • I feel the same as a woman...lots of us are married to a child in a man's body :(

What Girls Said 3

  • I would rather be with a faithful person than someone who would cheat on me but help with bills. You have the job, so you hold the cards. Demand he get a job or else cut all his access to the money. Then you control everything that is bought. If he smokes or something, make sure that's the first thing you refuse to buy. It might be underhanded, but youve given him so much time to show initiative. It's time to show him WHY he should want a job.

  • In all honesty. I would go with faithful. This day in time, its OKAY for the man to be the homemade while the womAn brings in the bacon. Not being rude at ALL but.. If you want more financially.. Go out and get it. Work a second job, better job. Ect . I deff. Would not throw out 10years because of that because next time around.. You might not be as lucky and guy treat you like t total sh*t!

  • Both are equally as important. It is selfish to cheat and it is selfish to expect the wife do all the work to make money.