My best friend got engaged...and I'm realizing that I had feelings for him.

So here's the deal, my best friend of four years started dating this girl back in January, after two weeks they moved in together, after eight months they were engaged. I know that he had feelings for me before they started dating but I never really acted on it because he was a good friend of my ex's and because I felt like it might ruin the friendship.

Now that he is engaged I'm realizing how much I care about him and miss him. I never get to see him because his fiance has jealousy issues and she especially has issues with me. She reads every text I send to him and never lets him hang out with me unless she is there.

What do I do? Should I keep my mouth shut and let him be with her? Or do I speak up and let him know how I feel? She is a vapid, controlling bitch and my personal opinion is that she is destroying him but I have never said anything to him about it and I have tried to be nice to her.

Updates:
I do realize that I should have said something sooner but I was trying to be respectful of my ex who is still a very good friend of mine it was not because he was "friend zoned" it was merely out of courtesy for someone else that I care about . I have been nothing but nice to his fiance. But I am not going to say anything and move on. I just don't appreciate being called a bitch for wishing that situations were different. She drove a nail between him and his family and also his best guy friend.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you think you love this guy? Have you had feelings for him in the past?

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What Guys Said 6

  • You just want what you can't have. The fact that he got engaged makes your feelings get stronger and that's a horrible way to "realize how much you care about him." I don't think she's a "controlling bitch" for not wanting his boyfriend to go off with another girl that may like him. That's like sending a guy off knowing he'll make the relationships shaky.

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  • You shouldn't have friend zoned him he had feelings for you and that's what you did... Now it's on you HAHA. Good for him he moved on to someone who would FZ him. You want what you don't can't have now. When will you women wise up.

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  • dont say anything until the priest says to speak now or forever shut up

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  • Speak up and tell him and if she says anything hit her in the face with a shovel

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  • Follow your vagina. No regrets!

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  • Do NOTHING. The only reason you want him now is because he is taken. This is how the brain works and women usually have no clue that they are doing it. You are the jealous controlling bitch. no offense.

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    • My answer still stands and in no way are you a good friend. If my "good friend" called my wife or fiance a " vapid, controlling bitch" I would tell that "good friend" to f*** off.

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    • Bleh you're right. I'm being the bitch. I'm not trying to be...I adore the sh*t out of this kid. And I'm very protective. And I may be a bitch but I am a f***ing good friend. I know that I'm going about it the wrong way but I'm trying to protect him from someone that in my opinion doesn't deserve him. I love him...I want him to be as happy as possible. But she isn't good enough.

    • And if you had the chance to be with him and he came to you then you would not want him anymore. Humans are funny when it comes to wanting something they can't have.

What Girls Said 4

  • you missed your chance with him. don't pursue it. Don't be the bitch. I think you just want what you can't have. Pick the smarter, nicer road here. He belongs to someone else. You wouldn't want some other bitch to steal your fiance now, would you? Doesn't matter what you think she does to him, if he's happy with her, you should just back off. If he's not happy he would've left her.

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  • I say you lost your chance and you now need to let him have his happiness, what good is telling him now going to do are you thinking he will drop her for u? the best thing you can do is wish him happiness and understand she is his priority not u.

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  • well you missed the train and quite frankly it's your own fault. you can't steal him from her. tough luck. our opportunities in life ruin out. if you ruin it you are the selfish vapid bitch, not her.

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    • I am not a vapid bitch...I just...I care about him. And I feel like she isn't right for him. I know that's his call but its so hard to watch her ruin him. Maybe I am jealous also...but it's coming from a place of love.

    • if you say anything you're still selfish. you obviously have a stake and you obviously are biased. it's not your business. you can't get involved in peoples' relationships. he has to learn on his own.

  • I wouldn't say anything, just move on.

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