"All young marriages are destined to fail"?

Someone at my husbands church said this to him the other day, I fully do not agree with that statement at all. I'm 19 and my husband is 21, we got married two weeks after I turned 17. Yes we're young but I don't think that every young marriage is destined to fai. What's your opinion?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can understand where he's coming from with that mindset, because a lot of young people don't really grasp the concept of proper commitment and just think getting married is a glamorous event.

    But he is still wrong.

    By saying ALL young marriages are destined to fail, he completely shits all over the ones that are successful and happy. One person can never speak objectively on behalf of hundreds of couples, because he has no idea how their relationships work. Generalizing is bad no matter what the topic, as there will always be differing circumstances for different people.

    As an example, my two best friends (who are sisters, one year age gap) both got married as soon as they turned 18. One of them dated for a year prior to getting married, got to know her husband very well and they're still together and have 2 baby boys (she's 25 now).

    The other married a guy after only knowing him for 2 months and he ended up being a piece of shit abusive a**hole. The marriage is in shambles, they're still together, but she's miserable and just accepted "her fate" and stays with him. Classic case of battered wife syndrome.

    So there you have it, two examples of young marriages. It all depends on the people involved and how mature they are about the whole thing.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Good topic. I married when I was young thinking it would last forever, but unfortunately it ended horribly with her cheating on me with my best friend three years into the marriage. I did everything I could to hold it together, but it was all in vein. I had people tell me it was because we were too young, but in reality I married a toxic person. The bottom line is I don't think the problem was getting married too young, it was getting married to the wrong person. If you love someone then it doesn't matter how young or old you are. All that matters is that your happy and sometimes people

    that are inescapable of understanding true happiness and love are confused by this. I do wish you and your husband the best. You have a chance to do what few others are able to do and that is to spend your life with the one that you love.

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  • I know a woman who got an arranged marriage in another country when she was just 13 years old. She's been married nearly 50, and is still together today.

    Go figure.

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    • If that country happens to be under Sharia law, then that girl doesn't really have a choice.

    • She was in Iran when it happened, but came to the U.S. when she was 18. If she was going to change her mind and divorce, she would of had plenty of time to do it. AFAIK, she loves her husband very much. Apparently, he didn't get much choice in it either.

  • it depends, we do live in throwaway culture, if something becomes an issue rather then fix it, most people would prefer to get rid of it eliminating all sense of responsibility. so it depends on the person, it's very likely when someone tells you marriages will fail so no one should bother,they were very likely sharing their own belief about what they would do or at least influenced by it

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What Girls Said 6

  • Not to say all but I can say mostly or at least MANY.I am surrounded by friends who were getting married at the young age.Believe it or not about 80% face problems after few years.Some of them came and ask advice from me and I didn't know what to tell them.The most popular problem is either one of them is cheating on their partner.You can't really confirm about your relationship now because it is still new.Time will show it.Don't get me wrong or think that I wish it will fail.I just suggest you to get prepared just in case anything happened in the future.

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    • My husband and I had been together for a few years before that, it's not like we just met. And when it comes to cheating etc honestly it's due to lack of communication in my honest opinion

    • If that is the case then I don't think you would need to worry much because you know each other for a long time.I am sure both of you get along together.The one that I talked about was like "we know each other for 3 months and decided to get married" lol.If you get what I mean.

  • I just feel like you should enjoy yourself before being marries. I'm 22, I love my boyfriend but I d on't feel the hurry to get married, maybe when I'll be 27 or 28. We are a couple but we enjoy ourselves. Marriage is a huge commitment and even if you're deeply in love, I think it's better to wait

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  • My friend's parents got married when they were 16 and they just celebrated their 15 year anniversary 2 months ago. Marriage takes work, there is no sugar coating it. Young marriages don't work majority of the time, because there is little work put into it. Let's face it, after the honeymoon stage marriage isn't all sunshine and rainbows

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  • According to GAGers, a lot changes when you get married, the Top 10 list shows that link

    I imagine many people think that some people aren't mature enough or life-experienced enough to handle those kinds of changes and progress.

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  • ALL young marriages aren't destined to fail, but ALL marriages to the wrong and toxic people are destined to fail. It doesn't matter hat age you got married, as long as you married the right person. I know plenty of young people who got married and are going strong still. But marriage takes work, and if both people aren't willing to put in the work to fix it and communicate, then they're doomed

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  • When you're young you usually have less experience. Which may result in you becoming curious about being with other people, or you get bored with your first or only-ever partner. Not everyone is like that but it does seem pretty common. No, not all young marriages are destined to fail. It depends entirely on the couple

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