Why did he want to marry her but not me?

I am 54 and have been with my guy 2+ years. Right before me, he was obsessed with a woman who had a husband, boyfriend, baby by the boyfriend and my guy was 3rd in the door. We started dating and hit it off. In the time we have been together, (we live together now) we have has some issues regarding his obsession with her. Now on our 2 year anniversary he told me that he had never been married and it scared him, but that it would happen. My question is that he was only with her for a few months when he bought the ring and begged her to marry him. He was not afraid then. Is it that he is afraid of marriage or just does not want to marry ME?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Never make someone your priority who considers you an option.


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What Guys Said 2

  • The previous answers you have receive are correct. What you are really doing is dealing with your own insecurities. At 54 and two years of investment do you worry that you won't do better? You can, you will.

  • He's still hoping that he can somehow get that woman he's obsessed with. Sorry lady but I think you're sort of his backup plan. If things doesn't go his way, he could always stay and maybe marry you.


What Girls Said 1

  • I am sorry to say; sounds as if your 2nd best.

    If he was a real man who respected you, he would give you the respect you deserve. If he cared as much or even close as you do, then he would make you 1st on his list.

    I wouldn't feel hurt about not being on his priority list, so don't feel it's you or if your feeling your not good enough?

    He maybe insecure within himself, and does not know deep inside what he truly wants?

    What you may want to ask yourself, do you want to be with a man who doesn't even know what he wants, by now?

    If you feel you will wait until there's a miracle, and he may change IF HE CHOOSES TOO...then you are accepting how he is, and leave it be...

    Keep in mind you will be also accepting that your happiness doesn't matter, and you now put yourself last on the list, no-one else but you.

    Instead of asking, why he does not want to marry you?

    You should be saying to yourself, does he deserve you?