Is it wrong for a husband to leave his infertile wife?

Neither of them know she is infertile when married but discover so after facing difficulties while TTC. Is it wrong of him to divorce her if he wants his own biological kids?

Of course you can reverse this but they find out the man is sterile(right?) and cannot help reproduce with her. Wrong to leave?

In the end (in either situation) neither can get what they want and their long term goals are different. Plus, the partner has essentially little to no utility for their SO.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Keep the woman or commit genetic suicide?

    Humans are selfish, and look out for what's best for them.

    I don't see an issue with it.

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What Guys Said 10

  • I personally find it wrong because as much as I would prefer my own kids I'm increasinlgly okay with adoption. Having said that it is perfectly understandable. Love can't be the only thing that holds relationships together. If there are compatibility problems and deal breakers they can't be avoided. Everybody has a dealbreaker and it is important to know yours before they become a problem

    If having biological kids was that important they should have gone and tested. Assuming is never a good Idea. They could try treatments or surrogates

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  • Well the vows are supposed to be "sickness and health", "better or worse". So in the sense he wasn't being honest when he said those words, it's "wrong".

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  • I don't think it's right to leave someone you've decided to dedicate yourself to over a bump in the road. All relationships face trials and tribulations and to leave someone for one of them shows your lack of dedication.

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  • It depends What they married then for , when it comes to having children, that are your own, all you would do is sell your sperm to a woman who wants to have children, I think it would be ridiculous to get divorced under those circumstances because it would be ridiculous to get married for that anyway and that alone

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  • Yes it would be wrong. Maybe the couple could adopt a kid if its impossible to make one on their own.

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  • as someone who has no interest in having kids I say it is. If I remember correctly in some states it is actually grounds for a divorce

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  • to me its wrong to leave. Just adopt if you can't get a kid the natural way. Or hire a surrogate

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  • Yes, because marriage is not only about having children. Besides, there are so many adoption candidates. What exactly dies bloodline mean unless you are some kind of royalty?

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  • A prehistoric view.

    Why not adopt a child then? Or is transmitting male genes really the MOST important point in a man's life?

    MORE important than being with someone he loves and who loves him while educating together an adopted child?

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    • Or did he marry his wife not because he loved her but because he wanted a breeding machine to transmit his genes? Not only selfish but narrow minded and degrading for her. She'll be better off without him. In that case it isn't wrong, indeed.

  • it would probably irk me a lot that she didn't trust me to tell me when we started getting serious before the wedding. That would be the issue for me. not that she's infertile, but that she couldn't trust me

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    • You didn't read at all

    • ok you're right I just read the title. in that case, no I wouldn't leave her. its not THAT important to me. I mean I would like my own kids, but its not devastating to me if I can't have my own

What Girls Said 5

  • WOW that is one of the most sexist things I've ever heard just casually slipped into the last sentence of this question. You just said that an infertile woman has NO UTILITY for a SO.

    In a loving relationship, perhaps you'd consider adoption before straight up leaving, but it depends on how important biological children are to you. If you've already chosen that woman to spend your life with and to be the mother of your children, dumping her for something she can't help seems callous, but NOTHING compares to the callousness of your statement about the utility of women. People have more value than the productivity of their sex organs.

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    • Don't be so politically correct.

      You've chosen your mates based on utility, whether you are aware of it or not. I don't see a difference.

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    • i never claimed to be a feminist... can't have a rational discussion with people who generalize and assume. My comment was sarcasm... perhaps you've heard of it?

      and YUP! You've caught me! I'm a gold-digging, dick-chasing whore! If you don't have mad stacks of cash and a huge **** I want nothing to do with you!

    • Straw man argument. Do it if it makes you feel better.

  • I think when you truly love someone, you wouldn't want to leave them over such a matter. The idea of losing that person will by far exceed the loss of not having a biological child for you. At least that's the way I see it. If I married a guy such a matter would never make me leave him.

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  • well,''utility'' shouldn't be why you're with someone. it really depends,if you're only marrying for children-it's still not ethical,but,it is what it is. but leading the other person to believe you're in love,and together in ''sickness and in health'',just to leave them for something that can be fixed with adoption-is shit.

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  • it's very unkind but I am sure it's happened and someone would be able to defend it.

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  • That's wrong in my opinion. When you get married, you're supposed to love your spouse no matter what.

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