Is it misandristic/sexist to expect a man to get on his knees when proposing marriage?

I had never thought about it that way until someone pointed it out to me. Now it’s so obvious that it’s sexist or misandristic and just generally humiliating for a man to be expected to get on his knees when proposing marriage. It’s as if he were addressing a monarch or his slave-master: link

  • Yes, it is sexist or misandristic or humiliating.
    Vote A
  • No, it isn’t.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that sometimes people can read too much into a situation. I see the reasoning, I understand what you're saying but to me I've never thought about it that way. When a guy gets down on one knee it's just kinda sweet. I guess I never thought about it before. I don't think guys should HAVE to get down on one knee if they didn't want to, that should be entirely up to them, but I don't think that it's as big a deal as it seems.

    It's one, small moment that, in the long run, no one thinks about. I mean in tradition women are the ones who are "slaves" and are being sold off to men by men (their fathers) and marriage is just about getting pregnant and pleasing a husband, that's your job in life. So with tradition in mind getting down on one knee isn't that bad, because the whole symbolism of marriage is really, REALLY fucked up.

    Could it be sexist? Sure. But seriously- ALL of marriage is sexist.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Little bit yeah, but I think it was originally seen as a sign of trade sort of thing. Like a symbol of his unconditional love to the woman seeing as back then the man was always in charge of everything so saying that he's willing to put all that aside for you and in that sense it was a very romantic symbol.

    That's like a king bowing down for you (like in Mulan) to show his great appreciation. It's not "humiliating" in that sense. He chose to do it to show his dedication and love (or in the king example his admiration and respect) for you.

    I personally don't need my boyfriend to get down on one knee for me. Hell, I don't even want a formal proposal. We're equals and I think we should propose our marriage as such and just talk it out. If I ask that's cool, if he asks that's cool too, but I always envisioned it as being more of a mutual agreement and less of a request on his (or my) part.

  • it would only be sexist to expect a man to kneel when proposing, if only men were expected to kneel when proposing marriage.

    it is sexist to expect only men to propose marriage.

    if everyone was expected to propose, and everyone was expected to keel when proposing , then it would just be awkward and degrading to be expected to kneel, but not sexist.

    ( At the conception of marriage, the ten second gesture of guy kneeling, was probably used to deflect the bowing the woman was expected to do for the remainder of their life together... or to somehow make it seem less horrid... at least for ten seconds,)

  • I thought that was the traditional way.

    • It is. I'm just asking whether you consider it sexist/misandristic/humiliating or not.

    • No, I mean, people have been doing it that way for a long time now so It doesn't seem like it would.

  • I don't think it is. It's very traditional.


What Guys Said 1

  • It's traditional for a man to get on his knees when he proposes marriage to a woman. The general concensus is that this action will prepare him for a lifetime of begging!