Her mom has been fighting cancer for about 10 years now, and is close to the end of the fight. It's gotten out of hand, and she started to go downhill faster last week. She went back into the hospital a few days ago, and they told her they've now exhausted all treatment options, and they have given her 6 months or less to live. My girlfriend used to work in a nursing home as a CNA and has seen a lot of cases like this, and her grandfather died of cancer as well, and she said her mom is like what many are when they only have a couple weeks. Then today she said the way she is, she's not even sure she'll make it through the weekend.
She's been spending a lot of time an hour and a half away at her parents' house, so I've not been seeing much of her recently. She came home today because she's missed a lot of work recently because of this, and she needed to talk with them to get a plan set for time off and stuff, but she will be heading back to her parents' pretty soon (no later than tomorrow night). That obviously messes up any kind of plans for Valentine's Day.
I scheduled flowers to be delivered, but obviously she won't be home to get them, so I figured I would get them, and take her gifts and the flowers to her parents' and give her those to maybe brighten her day. However, I also was planning on proposing to her on Valentine's day, so now I'm stuck with no idea what to do.
I want it to be her special time, but with her mom in this condition I know her head is not clear right now, and it would take away from what should be an otherwise happy time. However, if I wait, then her mom will pass never having known we got engaged, having never seen the ring or anything. I'm kind of old fashioned and already spoke with her parents and asked for their blessing to ask her to marry me, so they know it's coming, but still the time hasn't come when I've asked her. If I were to do it on Valentine's Day, it would end up being in her parents' home, and her mom would probably actually get to see me ask her and see the ring, but at the same time she's in such bad shape she may not realize what's going on because my girlfriend said she has trouble even remembering what happened only a couple hours before.
So, should I wait and let my girlfriend have her special day with no distractions? Or should I ask her and let her mom see we are going to be getting married? I have no idea which way to go right now.
I think I'm going to propose anyway, however do it semi-private. Ask her outside to help bring some stuff in, and do it outside so she can still have her moment, but immediately after go inside and show her mom (if she's awake and coherent).
What are your thoughts about that?
Most Helpful Girl
Tell her mother you are going to propose to your girlfriend.2