How to approach my fiance about the marrige word?

We have been going out for a year and a half got engaged but he says he isn't ready to get married why get engaged if your not ready. Most woman would agree with me its obviously the next step I have asked numours times about it and keep getting the same answer. He will get married when he is ready.! If I bring the m word up he gets angry. I don't want to force him I would just like to know were I stand and if he isn't intressted in marring me at all why not say so why keep a ring on my finger if he isn't ready for the next step we have been engaged for 6 months now I feel by now he should be ready. So how do I approach this with out him getting angry ?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The girls advice saying give him an ultimatum is terrible advice and you shouldn't listen.

    Understand his pov first. He found someone he wants to spend his life with. However when you get married, things are much more different. It's permanent. Maybe he just wants to be at a certain stage in his life before he officially takes the plunge?

    Does he have a career? Is he sure he wants to keep living in the area you both live in? There are per variants at play. He probably just gets defensive about it.

    Have a calm discussion and say your ready to officially do it. Don't try to force him to feel a certain way, just say what you think.

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    • Thanks I agree I can't give him an ultimatum. How long is that certain stage in live he is 33 he has a career and I'm sure he wants to live where we are his family is here he moved to be with me and closer to his family he is. I already tried haveing that discussion I think I was calm I told him I wanna know where we are heading we were supposed to get married last year and then something changed wish I knew why or what the only thing he keeps saying is he will get married when he is ready.

What Guys Said 1

  • Tell him you are worried where this is leading.

    Some men like to surprise their fiancée's. Other men want the fiancée to do all of the work. Other men share the burden.

    6 Months isn't that long. Tell him you don't mind if the date is 6 more months away, a year away or 2 years away just so long as you know there is a date.

    He may be a man that is saving the money for the special day or a man that doesn't want you to leave. I can only really answer with my own SS ideas on the matter (Saving + surprise).

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    • We are already living like a married couple and I really don't care like you said it can be two years from now as long as I know we are getting married I'm not getting any jonger and my biolagical clock is ticking we had a date last year and 3 months before wedding he changed his mind I just feel if he doesn't want to get married just tell me straight don't waste my time I can't stay and wait for ever I want a child I want a family life

What Girls Said 4

  • He shouldn't have proposed if he wasn't ready to get married. I'd give him the ring back. If you are happy staying with him without getting married, great. If you want it to either move forward or end, tell him it seems like you guys want different things and you think you should slow things down for awhile so you can both figure out what you want. Notice I did not say break up. Then, you get busy living your life - go out with friends, pick up a hobby. Either he'll miss you, see how vibrant your life is, want to be a part of it, and decide to make that step --OR-- you'll be much more emotionally prepared to weather a breakup.

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  • "Darling, I have been thinking that I might not be the best girl for you. So I think you should hold onto this." Give him the ring.

    If he sputters, just apologize and say you are sure when he thinks about it for a bit, he'll agree.

    Then have a few parties set up to go to, not mentioning where to him, just you think you should have a chance to socialize. ("No dear, there's no one else. I have no plans on dating. I just feel a bit unwanted right now. Oh no I know it is not your fault, it is something wrong with me. We can still date if you want, I just wanted to take the pressure off you."

    Leave

    Shut off your phone

    Do not reply to texts

    Do go out

    Try to make it to 'closed' functions, things he cannot come to.

    Wait two weeks.

    There are more advanced chain jerking things you can do but start with these.

    Good luck

    May

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    • Didn't read the living together part.

      Move to a different room. No sex.

      If he asks tell him you are worried about your biological clock, but also about being positive who the father of your children will be, so best if you are celibate for a while.

      Then find the most attractive and charming man you know and tell him you need his advice and you will pay. After dinner, go home and lock yourself in your room. Tell him everything is fine you are just tired and need to think about your future.

  • Tell him to set a wedding date or cancel the engagement and if he cancels the engagement then dump him.

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  • don't give him an ultimatum. Some people propose knowing that it could be a year plus until they get married or even start planning. Just ask him when he sees you two getting married.

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