Been married five years. Have two kids 16, and 4. I'm about to finish my college degree if we stay in this state long enough as we have moved three times in five years. My husband has taken jobs that have offered more pay, but its been especially hard on our relationship. I can count on one hand tje numberbif friends I have that I can count on. My husband has many, many more. Our last vacation was our honeymoon. The last time we Were intimate was two years ago. We just moved here nine months ago. I'm still not working but caring for our four year old day and night and watching over our teen. Had two date nights total last year without the kids. We can't afford a vaca as either we would have to take the kids or oay a babysitter. Ill be working in next two months once my credentials come in.
Here's what hurts. He gas business trips almost every month and gets to go out on business dinners with colleagues while I'm home with kids. He is still asking for guy weekends and boys nights while I stay home. Not once adking me if I would like to meet him for a drink or go out to dinner as I'm told to take one for the team and he should be allowed out and its not his fault I don't have friends. When I ask him when arebwe going out he says I'm working on it. Mind you we have separate checking accts. Never had a joint acct. I have $8. That's it. And I get blasted for being such a bitch not letting him go to hockey game Saturday night followed by him going away Monday morning through Wednesday night. He again will be having dinners out and ill be home with kids. I don't get flowers but my bday and mothers day. Clothes come sometimes. I do my own hair color and treat myself to one pedicure annually. I don't get play money. When his friends ask why he can't come out he telks them its because his wife won't let him and she would be mad as we haven't had a vacation and she wants that first. Am I wrong? Should I just say ok to him going out and me home alone?
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Short answer: No, you're not. As his wife and as the mother of two children, you automatically carry a heavier load. Being in college only makes things more difficult. Your husband is working to ensure that you and the kids are fed, clothed, and housed, so it's perfectly okay for him to want some time to himself. That being said, he also has a responsibility to you as his companion. It seems that right now, he views you as more of a burden than as the woman that he more intimately shares his life with.
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Again, he should have time to himself once every now and then, but he also has to meet your wants and needs as well, not just as "the wife and mother", but as his love.1