How do you presently feel about marriage? Do you still believe that it's sacred and worthwhile?

I know this question has been asked many times, but I want current opinions and fresh perspective from some of the younger users on here too.

in my opinion, marriage has become a business, a way to cheat the system, and an excuse to commit a battery of immoral acts. Now before I go further, let me first state that although I am a modern Pagan, I still believe that a married couple should honor certain morals and values.

I do not believe sex out of wedlock is wrong IF you are both of consenting age. I believe the term cheating is only applicable when your are hiding it from your partner and/or do not have their permission to sleep with a certain individual.

In most cases, I do not agree with getting married simply because you're pregnant. You don't have to be married to be in the child's life, or to help cover the cost of care. It's just not worth risking raising the child in a negative environment if the couple is a bad match.

I believe anyone who wants to marry should be allowed.

But back to my main points. Marriage is used every day to cheat the government out of money, spouses will use the M card to gain access to the SO's private information, and there are far too many people out their cheating simply because they are afraid of a messy divorce battle. Anit-Gay couples will use their marriage to justify hate crimes and violence against homosexuals, and there are far too many children suffering with unfit parents, simply because the state sees that two parents live in the home.

A ring will NOT guarantee loyalty or or fidelity. A piece of paper will not ensure that your spouse will take care of you financially, but many still assume this.

I'm a modern woman, and I feel that in this age, both parties should be capable of supporting themselves in the event of job loss or separation. With that notion, I really don't see much point in a ring, beyond employee benefits that extend to the spouse.

How do you guys feel?

  • I still believe in marriage for all couples
    60% (64)41% (26)53% (90)Vote
  • I still believe in marriage for hetero couples only
    18% (19)25% (16)21% (35)Vote
  • I don't believe in marriage anymore
    8% (9)17% (11)12% (20)Vote
  • Show me the results! / I really don't care
    14% (14)17% (10)14% (24)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Thanks for the great answers everyone, but please try to keep in mind that I'm talking about the modern view of marriage now, not the traditional views.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I vote A.

    I think a lot of people have a very jaded and incomplete understanding of what marriage is. I agree that the divorce rate today does paint a rather bleak picture for our society today, but the problem is not with this sacred institution itself. It's with the people who are getting married.

    People today do not understand what marriage requires. Today's world is obsessed with logic and facts, but these things can only take us so far. A relationship will not sustain itself because a couple is "compatible" with each other. Marriage involves effort, education, and sacrifice. Compatibility is only part of the battle. In marriage, love involves a total and mutual self-giving.

    As far as taxation goes, the government should have little to no involvement with marriage. That means get rid of the marriage penalty taxes and no tax credits for getting married in the first place. Get rid of "no-fault divorces", and for what it's worth, don't cite "irreconcilable differences".

    I don't know what you base the "anti-gay couples" comment on, but I'd be interested to learn.

    I think more people are capable of marriage and parenting than they've been formed to realize. Because of the way things are right now, they are selfish, fearful, and bitter. They're selfish because they argue about who "benefits" more from marriage and they are too focused on their own desires and wants. They're fearful because they've been raised in broken homes. And they're bitter because women think men only want sex and men think that women only want money.

    Again, the problem is not with marriage itself. It's primarily with the mindset that most people have about love and marriage. Love is a choice.

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    • I'm not at all happy about the fact that I am divorced myself, but I gave it my all and made absolute certain it wasn't going to work before I left. We do love each other very much, but in the end, he wasn't ready to grow up, and was unwilling to be an adult. I refused to control him, which is ultimately what he wanted me to do.

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    • Again I disagree. Love CAN last but there is no guarantee, people change, so love isn't necessarily going to last.

    • "Nothing lasts for ever but Sun and sky".

What Guys Said 25

  • is marriage sacred? no it's subjective
    is marriage a business decision? perhaps for some

    no a ring will not guarantee fidelity. no it will not guarantee financial support... unless you as a person and the person you marry subscribe to that

    marriage 100% what individuals make it. I think you let too many bad examples of marriage skew your vision of what it is. Marriage for you should be what it is for you. It should NOT be what other people subscribe to or abused the way other people do.

    I'm engaged. Not for spousal support, tax breaks, private information (although I don't know what you mean by that), or any of those things. It's simply because me and my fiancé love each other, we want to spend our lives together, and while it is 100% ceremonial we want to celebrate our decision to be together forever with our friends and family. and why not take on some tax breaks (and you can't make me feel like i'm scamming the gov't when it's something they offer) or let her gain access to my health insurance along the way (health insurance I already pay for), but those are all fringe benefits and not why we are getting hitched.

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    • I have no issue with the process personally, I was merely stating a general view. As to taking advantage of the system, I was referring to those scandalous military contract marriages where they're only married on paper for the benefits and don't even see each other. I agree with the way of life you've chosen, I just don't agree with paying money to be recognized as a couple, and the wedding ceremony? It's like a courtship dance AFTER you've won over your mate. It seems silly to me.

    • hahaha. I hear ya. there is a lot of unnecessary ceremony to a wedding. and while I don't know much about the "military contract marriages" you talk about to me any marriage done in vain is lame. It's the reason why I give credence to same sex marriages and shrug off people who suggest they trivialize or make a mockery of marriage in general. people who get married for reasons other than love make a mockery of marriage it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation

  • I've never believed that marriage is sacred but I do believe in upholding promises regardless of the genders involved.

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  • No. I think the ever-rising divorce statistics add weight to that conclusion. People, these days, aren't collaborators. Most people can't stop thinking about themselves long enough to realize it takes two to have a marriage. People jump into marriages because they think it's expected and then their feelings blow cold because the foundation that commitment was built on was weak in the first place. Personally, I have no interest in marriage. If I love a girl enough to want to spend my life with her, I don't need to put it in a legally binding contract. She would be good enough for me and I should be good enough for her.

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    • I also feel that most young people these days don't understand what L-O-V-E really is. Movies have disillusioned them into thinking it's a magical thing that happens in matter of hours or days.

  • I voted B. I feel that the institution of marriage - a thousands of years old tradition that enabled and encouraged productive procreation and a stable environment to bring up and educate children between a man and a woman, has been redefined basically to nothingness. How can something that can last 1000 years be destroyed by a lobby group in less than 10?

    Of course homosexual people have the right to love whoever they want, and to pursue a relationship with whomever they want. Society accepts that, and has accepted that they may want to commit themselves to a lifelong partnership just as hetero people do. For hetero and religious people this was through the institution of marriage - which was a combination of secular and divine mandate for their relationship.

    Unfortunately for religious homosexuals, the old religions of the world aren't too kind on their personal sexual orientation - and so this divine mandate was typically denied to them. So we gave them secular authority instead through civil partnerships etc which extended to them the same rights as a married couple. I thought this was an excellent initiative. After all, I couldn't understand why a gay person would want to get "married" - as marriage is a secular and divine joining of a man and a woman.

    This didn't mean that one type of relationship was better than the other - or that one class of person (homo/hetero/bi/transgender whatever) was better than another. It was simply an understanding that different groups had different needs.

    Unfortunately, this debate has been lost - and marriage has now been redefined so that it will essentially be worthless for everyone within 30 years or so - because it has lost its divine mandate. It can no longer claim to be a religious joining of a man and a woman - because it is not. It is also now something else. The reasons why this have happened? The Frankfurt school of subversive cultural Marxism... look it up!

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    • The concept of marriage has existed longer than organized Christianity. Traditional Pagans were practicing "hand-fastening" long before recorded Christian marriages. The ideals behind this practice was to join families/clans to form stronger and larger more prosperous family groups.

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    • So do you think heterosexual people who are incapable of having children or just don't want children should be allowed to get married?

    • Of course they should be. Anyone "should be" allowed to get married according to the standard definition of the term. No one is saying that gay people can't get married. Just that they can't to another gay person. The real question is why bother if you can't have children or are homosexual? There are equally good alternatives like civil partnerships that better fit your personal circumstance.

  • Wait a friggin minute. "Cheat the government out of money"? Number one, it's MY money, not the government's. Get that straight. Number two, it's not 'cheating' to follow the rules they've established.

    Your perspective certainly does come from someone 'younger'.

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    • agree 100%

    • I'm talking about military contract marriages. They get married on paper, they never actually see each other or even date at all, and the government is giving them extra money simply because they are married. However I will state that I do not think they pay our military nearly enough for what they do. You can call me childish if it makes you feel better. This is the internet. You're in the wrong place if you're easily offended.

    • I'm not the least bit offended.

  • I believe in marriage in terms of it representing love and the seriousness of a relationship... Spiritually it means nothing to me, i'd also have to accept it anyway since if I do end up in a relationship it'll more than likely head towards marriage as Ireland is mostly religious types. I also like the legal implications and the fact others will recognise the bond. I don't see it as sacred, but relationships in general should all be treated with the same trust and respect.

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  • You're a self-proclaimed "modern Pagan" yet don't understand the symbolism of the ring? I'm shocked. Also, why did you preface your belief that married couples should "honor certain values and morals" by stating you are a "modern Pagan"? That implies that modern Pagans commonly don't, and you are one of a kind in this matter. Is that so?

    Marriage is, traditionally, the joining of two families into one to keep them both alive through the children the marriage produces; families thought long and hard before allowing them to join together. Modern marriage is more like legally and officially stating to the public that you are in love; when you fall out of love, or it becomes inconvenient, you just get divorced: legally and officially no longer in love.

    My ancestors, the Germanic people, practiced divorce which only the woman could initiate if her husband: could not keep her fed enough according to village standards, could not keep her warm enough according to village standards, or was infertile. In any other matter, they were oath-bound to remain together, have children, and contribute to the village. My ancestors outlawed oath-breakers and hunted them down like the dogs they are. Do not swear oaths before Gods and men that you do not intend to uphold for you shall be be punished on pain of death for your lack of honour.

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    • I don't follow any sort of traditional path; I'm spiritual, not religious. I don't actively worship any gods. I supposes I would be more hedonistic, although I don't openly discuss or practice my beliefs in front of just any one. Many of my morals and values can be traced to Christian practice. I agree with the practices stated in your second paragraph there. I don't think people wait long enough and truly get to know one another before jumping into it anymore.

  • I don't believe in marriage. Never have.

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  • I don't care. If I really cared about someone and she wanted to get married, I would do it, but I would be just as happy living together without the ring. A lot of people have kids and live as if married without ever doing the legal thing.

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  • I think marriage is too devalued, everywhere. It means too little.

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    • This is where I asked about the sanctity. It's not sacred anymore. Divorce is so common now that no one bothers to take the time to truly consider what this legally binding union really means. I think it's the pressure from media that drives women to base their worth on the length of their relationship; the quantity Vs the quality.

    • Though I disagree with some of your other points. I don't think marriage holds nearly enough tax benefits that it actually serves as a way to "cheat" the government. And I am yet to hear of normal people using their marriages "to justify their hate crimes and violence against homosexuals." I'm sure there are a few random people, but I could probably find more examples of black mobs attacking whites or such.

  • I still think marriage holds relevance to a lot of people and couples. I think any two consenting adults should be able to get married, irrespective of their sexuality. There is no place for discrimination in a progressive and educated society. For those who claim it damages the Christain way of life, firstly marriage is not exclusive to one religion, and seconly marriage pre-dates Christianity. Each religion and society has their own interpretation of it therefore it is not set in stone.
    That said, in todays fast "I want everything now" way of life, people expect it just to work for them, as if their is no effort involved, and subsequently break up a few years down the line because they are not prepeared to work things out. This is proven in the rising divorce rates. Most of my grandparents generation (she's in her early 80's) stayed together for life.
    I think that similar to having a child, couples need to realise that it is a life long commitment and one which is serious and legally binding. To get married on a whim to someone you've only known for a few months is setting yourself up for a divorce.

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    • It may not be exclusive to us Christians but it holds much more importance and value to us then it does to regular people. especially since we try to stay virgins until we are married which is one of the standards as something like that should only be done with the person you will spend your life with.

  • I have to say C, though (like God) I only ever "believed" in marriage because it's the default starting point in our society.

    Marriage is a relic of a world in which women were devoid of rights and were treated as property and glorified breeding stock. And it's very modern incarnation still takes a stupidly naive view of human nature and relationships. I see no value in it and have no desire to perpetuate it..

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    • Then how do you feel about the concept of monogamy and/or being legally bound to have sex with only one person? How do you feel about the modern views of marriage?

    • I'm extremely monogamous by nature. I simply refuse to seek social/legal sanctioning and codification of my relationships. Strictly speaking, marriage doesn't "bind" you to sleeping with one person anyway.

      I don't buy into the "until death do us part" nonsense. People change all the time. I try to make any relationship work as well possible for as long as possible, but I'm not a fool. Life happens and these kinds of black and white promises are just silly.

    • I completely agree with this view

  • I couldn't care less about marriage, personally. It's something people do when they feel like they're getting older and they want to settle down.

    The only reason I'd get married would be to provide a stable environment for children, but even that seems like a shit-shoot, courtesy of marriage being corrupted by divorce laws and family court: I'm 26 right now though and just purchased my first rental property. My income allows me to travel a lot and will only increase. Why would I want to enter a legal contract that would allow a woman to turn me into an indentured servant? I worked too hard for my assets and money. fuck that shit

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  • Since heterosexuals have the right to marry, I don't see why homosexuals should be deprived of that right because religion disapproves.

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    • Marriage (the ceremony and the term in modern history) predominantly has its origins in religion. Why should secular society then dictate the doctrines of those religions? There is nothing in western societies preventing people of any gender committing/cohabiting for life. It's the commitment between the two people concerned that will make it last. Why does our secular society then feel the need to force religions to change their beliefs? Freedom & liberty also include thought & beliefs..

    • religions have to change only ONE of their beliefs: the belief that they can control the whole society. Nobody forces a Christian to be a partner in homosexual marriage.
      FYI, marriage isn't only a religious thing. We married at Townhall, so did my parents. So did my son (and many of our friends).

  • For me I'd say marriage within feminised countries is a waste of time. Its not for life so you may as well just stay boyfriend and girlfriend, since they are only different in name and the fact you can lose half your wealth and even your home through a divorce. I'd consider marrying a foreign woman, from a culture where they do treat marriage seriously, since my problem isn't with marriage but with the way it has been devalued.

    As for gay people getting married, I really don't care, doesn't effect me in the slightest. Not so keen on them adopting/raising children though.

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    • Marriage used to be different because it represented a significant change in the status of two people's lives. They were supposed to change from single virgins to a "one flesh" for life family-making unit. Modern common practices now mean the day before the wedding is no different to the day following it, except for a piece of paper that makes the later split a lot more bitter and costly. People still expect it to be a life-changing event and then seem surprised when it's not (where it used to b

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    • Most other countries use marriage as a way to sell their daughters for profit, it has nothing to do with the value of marriage and everything to do with the ownership of women.

    • I disagree entirely. In fact I can think of far more countries where the brides father pays the groom to take his daughter away than where women are sold for profit!

  • Marriage is just financial slavery for Men these days & not to mention the fact that Women don't know what a Man wants in a S. O. anymore. IMHO There are just too few Marriageable Women to go around, at least I know I sure haven't met one yet. I see so many Women that act more like Men than well other Men. They are too masculine & finding a feminine Woman is like trying to find a hot virgin they're as rare as unicorns/non-existent. The only thing most Women can hope to offer in exchange for a Man's Heart is sex & we already get that for free without the commitment of marriage; so YOU tell me? Why should we Men get married?

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  • I believe in the sacred Ties and bonds between a man and a women and I believe that is worthwhile if you find the right man or women to share your life with.

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  • I chose B.

    I'm a strong believer that marriage should be reserved for hetero couples only.

    It's been that way for thousands of years.

    Gay couples already have the chance to be in a civil partnership, they are asking for way too much. I can imagine that they'll be asking for a different toilet, or "gay compartments" on planes/trains/coaches...

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  • Marriage dont mean shit. Dont believe me? The divorce rate in the US is 70%. 70 PERCENT. That means 70% of people who get married, divorce.

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  • I choose A

    The right to marriage should be given to all.

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  • It's a bad idea for any man.

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  • I agree that it is worthwhile but I'm not so sure that I believe it is sacred anymore... people have kind of ruined that whole idea for me. They would rather avoid committed relationships but still have casual flings. Their selfish lifestyle doesn't grant them any "sacred marriage" in their future, nor should it.

    But this is reality. I'm not saying they shouldn't ever be able to marry, or that I wouldn't marry someone that had a little bit of fun back in the day, but it wouldn't fit those "sacred" ideals that I had related to what a marriage should be.

    The odds of finding a woman that was attractive and that I would want to make my wife, that hadn't had at least a little bit of sexual experience, are slim to none these days. As nice as it would be to find a virgin girl, as I am a virgin myself, it's something I really don't count on anymore.

    But I do think marriage is a wonderful thing, as long as the two people are ready and committed to it. It requires a certain amount, or a certain kind of wisdom that many young couples, even old couples, do not have. And I believe that only through a healthy marriage, is the proper way to raise a family.

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  • I didn't choose any of the options in the poll because they are not gender specific. Marriage is and always has been primarily for the benefit of women and children. It used to offer some reasonable benefits to men but much less so now.

    A man who honestly and accurately weighs the pros and cons of marriage is very unlikely to get married today.

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    • Hmm. I do agree with you that traditionally this was the case, but modernly not so much. As stated in my post, I am a modern woman, and I do not agree with gender stereotypes, or the notion that a man should take care of a woman financially. If the man IS the sole bread-winner, then I see no issue with her waiting on him so long as he is appreciative and respectful to her about it. If a housewife were paid for all of the services she renders,

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    • For now though, the percentage of men who want to go to the later will continue to decline as it has been for some time now.

      Cheers

    • ... go to the *altar...

  • I still feel that it's both.

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What Girls Said 28

  • I'm 27 years old. I was engaged once before and realized that he was not the man I could marry. This is because I DO take marriage very seriously and I do NOT want to ever get divorced. Therefor it's important to me to only marry a man that I feel best suits me in the long run. I do not think love is the only reason to marry and I do think that is why so many people end in divorce. Too many people enter into marriage because of love and I just don't think that's enough anymore. Love does not conquer all. Society has changed for the worst. I know this because I loved my ex so very much. He had my heart and all of it. However, getting engaged made me think of other things. Things that I had thought of before but thought that our love would make everything work out. This wasn't the case though as I soon found out that we had different ideas and values. He and I were together for 5 whole years and how did I not see those differences? Or did I see them but subconsciously let love override it all. If he and I married we would have divorced and I think I would have been turned off by the whole idea of marriage. I'm lucky to have gotten out of that situation but also to have that engaged experience to wake up and realize what it takes to build a healthy and long lasting marriage.

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    • I am divorced myself. He is a wonderful man, but he had never lived on his own before, and once we were married and headed off to his duty station, he panicked because he was used to his parents always whispering which way to go. He chose to simply shut down and wait for me to direct and dictate everything to him, including when and how much of the bills to pay. He wanted me to completely control him. I just couldn't live that way.

    • Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm sure you really loved him but ultimately it comes down to compatibility. And I don't blame you for wanting the divorce. I wouldn't want to live that way either

    • Thank god for your comment haha i was reading and was thinking " none of these girls like marriage?"

  • Though there are many legal downsides to marriage. For me marriage is not just a legal document. For me a married couple can still be a couple who though not being legally married, they have a good relationship and have kids. I think that its important that with or without marriage a couple can formalise their commitment with any kind of ritual, whether its jumping over a broom, howling at the moon, signing a document, attending a religious ceremony, or buying a home together. However, in my ase I prefer marriage the legal way cause it formalises the unión. It makes it clear for both him and me, that this is a serious commitment and that we are in it for the long run. I dont want to be bickering to a person and then him telling me that we are not that oficial or women feeling free to hit on my guy cause he is not married.

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  • Currently I'm not interested in getting married. I believe in it and everyone's right to it, especially the till death do us part part. I want to marry my soul mate, sounds corny i know, but I want to marry someone I love indescribably and who feels the same and have kids and grow old together. I want the good times and the bad times. But I'm very aware that it's a hard thing to find. I'm a strong smart girl, and i know i could carve out a life for myself that's happy and full of love even if i don't get married.

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    • This is the attitude more people should have about marriage. Very mature, great answer :)

  • If someone wants to get married then they have my full support and I wish them a long happy life but marraige is simply not something I need or want.
    I am with my s. o for 12 years, we are on our 3rd house together, no kids, travel a lot and are very happy. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me what commitment is or what my relationship means or how we should live our lives. How we are works for us

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  • How do you presently feel about marriage? Do you still believe that it's sacred and worthwhile?
    C. I don't believe in marriage anymore

    Though for me it's simply "I don't believe in marriage" as anymore would be a bit off to add as I've never believed in it. I find marriage as a sh*t deal for hetero gals as historically it seemed to be about treating gals as male property, pre-feminism it seemed to be about having gals rely on males for financial survival often exchanging rape/abuse/etc for such, and now it seems to be about gals working then coming home to work some more while being treated as subordinates and lessers that unless they put out on a male's sexual desire no matter her own desire or how she feels towards him she is being 'emotionally abusive', 'withholding', 'denying', 'using sex as a weapon'(understandably to me why gals majorly initiate divorce).

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  • i believe that marriage is sacred, but I am christian so that influences my beliefs. i realize that there are gays and lesbians which believe that they love each other, but i personally don't think they should be married because the bible states that it isn't natural. i believe that cheating is wrong and that each spouse should stay faithful to each other. yes, a ring (tradition) and piece of paper (a legality) do not mean much, but the oaths each spouse says in front of the preacher makes the marriage and two people should not be saying them in front of the pastor unless they can uphold them and be faithful to them for their entire life.
    marriage is not about money or the government benefits that come with it. it is about the union of a man and woman that love each other.

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    • The bible does not specifically say anything against gay marriage, correct me if I'm wrong. So how can you claim the bible says it's not natural?

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    • The concept of marriage existed in other cultures before organized Christianity.

    • You can't say because having sex is wrong it means God thinks marriage is wrong. It's sad to see just another Christian ruining their religion with hate for no good reason. The bible also speaks against wearing two different fabrics together in Leviticus, so you're going to hell too probably?

  • Many people have treated marriage as something that is not sacred. That does not make marriage itself not sacred, just because people have treated it in such a way. When done the right way, marriage is supposed to make two people in a relationship feel secure with each other. The reason why marriage should make a couple feel secure is because you take VOWS. It doesn't seem like many people actually listen to and heed the vows that they read at a marriage alter. You're supposed to be with your partner FOR BETTER and FOR WORSE, through SICKNESS and HEALTH. You're supposed to HONOR and LOVE your partner, for the rest of your life. That means no sleeping with another person, or developing feelings for another person besides your marriage mate, or leaving your marriage mate for some dumb problem that can be resolved.

    It's the people who view marriage as useless and unnecessary that are not likely to stay faithful to their partner. After all, if you view marriage as some joke, then you're not going to take it seriously. There are a lot of people in this world who don't take marriage seriously and don't realize just how solemn the vows they took really are. So guess what they do? They cheat, they're not loyal, they don't take care of their partner, they get divorced over silly things.

    ALL married people experience hardships, but hose who take their marriage seriously and love each other don't have to worry about their partner leaving them or cheating. If there were a lot more people in the world who made sure they were ready to get married and took their marriage seriously, there would be a lot less unhappily married and divorced couples. Many of the opinions you stated (such as agreeing with sex out of wedlock, not seeing any value or meaning in a ring, and viewing marriage as a business method used to cheat the system) are the exact reason why so many marriages fail. Because you have absolutely no respect for marriage and you would have no respect for your partner.

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    • I completely agree with you. The things I beleive work for me, but I believe everyone should form their own opinions, but as to a marriage being successful, you are SO right! People get married to young and for all the wrong reasons. I personally am monogamous (should have stated that) but I don't take issue with people who are not. But marriage does take a lot of work and RESPECT for your partner, whether you with them agree or not.

  • I believe that marriage is sacred and you should be faithful 100% and your first marriage should be your only marriage.

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  • Well, for me marriage is sacred. I believe it is sacred but I don't think people will agree with me because of what's happening these days. As we can see, no one sees it as a sacred thing anymore. People get married and divorced like they were just changing their clothes. I hate to admit this but right now I see people treating marriage as if it is just something they can get away from when they don't feel like staying anymore. I was brought up in a broken family, I've seen the worst things through my parent's situation. Dad cheated many times and he is continually blaming my mom for his cheating, they ended up their relationship years ago but they are still in a war. Dad says my mom wasn't a good wife that's why he cheated, my mom says she did her best to save the relationship but she can't continue to be with him anymore because he abuses him physically. I understand my mom for getting away but my dad? No... Argh... My dad didn't really care about their marriage, he cheated numerous times And had kids with other women. I can see many people with the same situation. Now, where is the sacredness in marriage? People don't view it as sacred anymore. Some people marry for money, some people marry just because they got pregnant or they got someone pregnant, some people marry because they were forced to. So what's really happening in this world? Have we really lost it? Marriage is supposed to be sacred, but it isn't anymore. I feel so sad.

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    • See my personal issue isn't so much what I feel, but the fear of falling for someone who does think of it the way you described. I can and would take it seriously, but yeah, I am gun-shy after my divorce, because my ex husband was just not ready for an adult relationship. He wasn't a bad person or a cheater or anything, he just expected me to take care all the adult stuff for him when he got scared by a does of reality.

  • I don't believe in marriage, I never did and I most likely never will.

    What two people want to do is their business. If two people want to get married, let them do it, regardless of gender.

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  • Marriage was initially a way to gain wealth, people would be married off to gain land, important names, money, etc. It's only in more modern times it's about "love", so I don't see a problem with people do it for the reasons it was created: Financial gain.

    Christians can claim God created marriage for love and it's sacred all they want, but it's been seen long before it was in the Bible in other places.

    Also, I think Gay marriage should be a non-issue. If marriage is so sacred to you two people getting married shouldn't damage it for you, also heterosexual couples do far more damage to this "sanctity" than any gay person could. Kim Kardashian was married for 72 days but because she had a hole and he had a pole it was "right" and "moral"? Yeah, okay. The logic of religion, people, it shall not falter.

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    • I don't disagree with marrying to increase wealth, but it should be something that is mutually beneficial, and both parties should be happy with the arrangement. If your going t treat it as a business, then make the exchange equal.

  • Yes, a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. A lot of people get into relationships for the wrong reasons. A lot of women date a man for his money. A lot of men date a woman for her body or the sex. A lot of women date/marry a man for his status. A lot men date/marry a woman for her status.
    Yeah it's cheating the system but that doesn't mean that marriage is not a good idea. Marriage is a sanctity and should be treated as such. We should all remember that marriage is about the holy matrimony between man and wife and symbolizes romantic devotion.

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  • I went with with A. I do believe that marriage should and can apply to everyone, but I don't neccessarily think that it's for all couples.

    It's not how it once was everyone is married and it should be that way. It is nothing worng with being sigle you can still enjoy life without being wedded to someone.

    I really think that it's up to every single individual person if it's your thing and you want to, are engaged, or already married congradulations. If you're not have a good life as well.

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  • I don't necessarily believe in marriage "for all couples", but I believe that marriage has meaning for those who choose and want to get married. And that does go for all couples.

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  • First of all, Marriage is a sacred institution for me. Even in this new modern "era" i think that not forgetting the basis of life like "keeping an agreement", "be responsible" and so on, is a must.
    I believe any individual can get married to whom he/she wants and for the reasons he/she wants. May it be for a green card, for money, for family, because of a baby or anything else.. But yet, for me once they agreed on spending their lives together its sealed forever, there are no turning back. Because for me they willingly agreed on all the terms, they engaged themselves, and i think it's bad for both you and the other person to not take it seriously. Marriage is the same as your job, it won't work or last long until you try your best to make it work and be responsible for the engagement you made.
    Yet i'm a really open-minded person.
    I'm not particularly against divorce except for myself. I understand that it can be viewed as the best solution in a lot of cases where living together is no longer an option. Any individual can live its life as he/she wants to, and i'm no one to judge anybody. I have my own opinion on things and i'm just expressing it.
    It's te same for sex out of wedlock and pregnancy before marriage. I don't specifically care if other do it or not, but i know i won't.
    I don't find pregnancy a sufficient reason for getting married like you said. It's not particularly healthy for both the couple and the child, because in most of the cases, the parents will just wait for the child to be old enough to understand that they "dont like " each other anymore before divorcing.
    For the "ring" subject, i think it's there to represent the engagement that both parties took; just like a contract must be written between 2 parties when they decide to join hands. It's just there to remind them the contract terms they have to follow for everything to go smoothly. So the ring won't ensure Financial support & loyalty. It will just stand there as a reminder.

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  • Everyone has the right to be married, not everyone wants it and then there are people who desperately want it and have a hard time getting it. I would like to be married, it's sad that more people are getting divorced but A LOT of people getting married too soon or think it will be one way. It is hard work not a walk in the park, no one should be forced or pressured to marry too but marriage if for all the couple who seriously want it.

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    • so should i be allowed to get married to my also hetero guy friend so we can get the tax benefits? who should have any right to say our platonic love isn't "real" love worthy of marriage, right?

  • I believe that every couple should be able to get married if they want to but marriage and relationships today are just a big joke. No one is loyal to each other these days and you're just going to get divorced anyways so why bother.

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  • yes I will believe in it strongly and one day will marry someone

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  • I believe in marriage for all couples, though, I don't think I will ever marry. I want to live my life with my boyfriend, have kids with him but I don't think we'll ever get married, it's not his thing and I never dreamed of having a wedding, never was my thing. But I still think it's a beautiful thing for other

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  • I completely agree with you.

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  • I think anyone should be able to get married, I know I want to, and I feel like marriage is very important, as long as you don't rush into it, I don't even want to get married until I'm at least 30 though.

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  • I voted for A.

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  • I believe in marriage still. I think it still serves its purpose.

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  • I still believe in it it's the greatest show of how much you love someone. It should matter if it's a same sex couple or not

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  • i believe that marriage is sacred and beautiful

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    • as an idea, but in action it's just something most girls pine for after spending their youth in bed from 1 guy to the next. i fail to see how there's any magic there

    • so it's only ok for men to try to fuck as many girls as possible. got it.

  • God knows how much I don't want to get married.

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  • Not for the faint hearted or people believing marriage is like the disney ending fantasies

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  • It's only sacred and worthwhile if the couple MAKES it sacred and worthwhile. The institution of marriage itself doesn't have any special powers. It doesn't automatically mean you'll live happily ever after or that you'll always be in love... it's take two people WORKING at the relationship to keep it happy and worthwhile.
    Which, let's be honest, can be done WITHOUT spending a fortune on one day's events and a couple of pieces of ridiculously overpriced jewelry.

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    • this is best answer

    • Thanks :-)

    • Very well said, lavish weddings, exotic honeymoons and lots of gifts dont equal a happy marriage, they only give the impression that the couple will have a fairytale life happily ever after. Weather or not that is the case is down to time and the two people involved.

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