Do most girls expect a ring after three years of a relationship? Why or why not?

Lately I've been noticing a ton of people I know either getting engaged after three years of dating, or making comments like "we've been together for three years, he knows I want a ring".

I don't know if this is how most people think or not but it sure seems like it

I think it's pathetic, and that you shouldn't decide to marry someone just because you've been together for three years, but it appears I'm a minority among girls.

I also especially don't understand it because I'm only 20 and I keep hearing this from my classmates and friends; but all I can think is: you're ONLY 20 AND IN DEBT FROM SCHOOL. HOW THE F CAN YOU JUSTIFY NEEDING A RING?

Opinions?

Updates:
@anon who blocked me
If they're willing to tell me how they can't afford a $7,000 ring and are in debt up to their eyeballs then they're making it my business. You're very butt hurt, aren't you?

I'm asking a simple question. Keep your head on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree, for me its like this. There are no rules when it comes to relationships and there really isn't a set timeline for you to know you've found the "one" either. Not because you've made it to the three year mark means you were meant to be together for a lifetime. People change, shit happens etc. So there really is no way of telling. Besides, giving a guy an ultimatum like that is asking for trouble. If he's genuinely not ready to marry at that 3yr mark, it doesn't mean he won't. And if you force him then be prepared for the resentments and the "what ifs". I'd rather he make that decision for himself when he is 100% sure that I am the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. But I do understand where people are coming from with this. Three years is a long time and he should have figured out what his plans for the relationship. And especially if you are an older female with goals of a family and marriage, I completely understand. But for me, you can't race to the finish without going through the process of it all, be it 3 years or 10 years (even though I personally would never "date" for 10 years). When its right, its right and you both will know.

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    • Thank you for being logical. I agree that after three years you pretty much know whether or not you want to be with that person forever or not, but I don't think it means you can't acknowledge this and wait until you can at last afford a ring.

What Guys Said 2

  • Depends on age. I'd guess if you're 35 its faster then that, and at 20, for most people I know, slower.

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  • Well give her a ring then, you've got her number right? or at least send a text

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What Girls Said 7

  • Yeah after 3 years together you should know if you want to be with me forever.
    Now, at this moment in my life. I have no time for a relationship really, I wouldn't mind one but I have 8 more years of college ahead of me. I'm to young to be getting married anyways.

    I see a lot of people in my age group getting married, having kids and getting enganged and I'm just trying to get through college and not get fat.

    But, I won't knock being in Love, if you have found the one and think your ready then go ahead but personally, I'm to young and immature to get married right now.

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    • That's what I think. I mean marriage isn't any different than a long term relationship except for the legal factor so I don't see why they can't wait you know? Also I laughed out loud at you saying you just wanted to get through college and not get fat! Same! Hahaha

  • I'd think yes... most do... and they expect big expensive ones. My sister in law is a lot younger than me... and my brother bought her a big expensive ring... he is also younger than me.. but he makes really good money... and has no debt because my dad payed for all of his college.

    I haven't experienced that because I haven't been in a relationship that long ever... however... I did get a ring after about six months into the relationship. It isn't real diamond, but was an engagement ring... totally his idea. He told me he started looking at engagement rings for me about three months into the relationship. We are both in our upper 20s and in huge amounts of debt from med school... so I don't expect one now... and told him I don't want one... but he insists he wants to get me one when he's done with school...

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  • It depends on how old we are. I think for two college students getting engaged is a bit step. But in general I wouldn't be with someone that long if I didn't want a life with them, so after a few year (not necessarily three) without engagment I would wonder where the relationship is going

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  • I agree. Well i think if you are in college forget a ring. Get your education first and a good job before thinking about an expensive ring. However, if the person can afford it i don't see why not.

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  • I understand your reasoning, but at the same time I'm on the other side of the debate lol

    I'm 20 so I'm very young and logically should not be thinking about a ring BUT I have been with my boyfriend for six years now and I have to admit... a ring is sounding PRETTY good right about now. Plus all my friends are getting rings or already have rings and have been hitched and are sending out wedding/baby shower invitations and I'm just sitting here with my boyfriend who I've been dating since way before they even met their husbands...'Can't help the envy that creeps up inside.

    We have a day by day plan and we promised each other we'd get through college before talking of weddings and such but I can't help that a ring WOULD be nice lol. It doesn't have to be $7000 like you mentioned in your example, of course.

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  • It doesn't matter to me, honestly. If that's what another girl wants, who am I to judge? It's not affecting me in any way so I couldn't care less.

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    • That's usually how I feel but when they whine to me about debt while simultaneously gushing over the new "fiancĂ©e" title I get irritated.

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