Will you arrange for you and your fiance/fiancee to have medical checkups before getting married?

Things you might wish to check might be a DNA testing (slow debillating genetic diseases), heart defects, STDs.

Also, what would you do if the checkup turned up something that cannot be cured, but only managed?

Oh yea I haven't answered my own question haha. If it was manageable and doesn't cause a premature death, that would be fine. If it means a shortened mortality (like dying before 40), I... don't think I can bring myself to marry. I will stay beside
her for the rest of her life though. If it's something that's crippling (paralysis) but not life-threatening, to an extent I think that's still... manageable. If our genes are not compatible (fetus has high chance of genetic disease/mental


Most Helpful Girl

  • STDs, yeah, but I would do that before sleeping with somebody anyways. Genetic testing, or checking for inherited diseases, etc? No way. You love that person, and when you marry them you take them as they are - "in sickness and in health", remember. I wouldn't break up with somebody or refuse to have children with them because there's a possibility of them having some terrible disease. It's important to support your partner so that's what I would do.

    • What if it's not just a possibility (we all have some genetic risk anyway), but it's actually in the super early stages already. A disease that is crippling or fatal, but takes a few years, maybe a decade or two. And what if testing shows both of you carry a damaged chromosome that carries risk of your newborn being mentally crippled or having a physical defect?

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    • I have seen too many families devastated because of medical upkeep for a child, especially one who is unable to care for himself ever. I don't mean to think of it as harsh as eugenics. That's pretty drastic.

      I'm more about the couple that is unable to raise the child. Caretakers, equipment, medicine, all these cost money. If we are all rich upper-class people we can uphold ideals. :(

    • Eugenics is essentially what you're suggesting though. Anyways, if you have a child who is ill or disabled, you find a way to care for them and support them. You don't just give up because you can't deal with it or because you don't have enough money. Nobody has enough money for anything, so that's hardly an excuse. Be smart and know what kind of help and grants are available to you. Parents will do whatever it takes to make sure their sick or handicapped child has a decent quality of life even if it is shortened. Seek out charities, fundraisers, and government help.


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What Girls Said 6

  • Lol no

  • It would be for the best. You may be infertile or have an unknown STD. STDs can be spread by sharing a glass of water or even lipstick.

    • well not just any STDs actually. like AIDS. What if it's that?

    • I don't know. But you wouldn't be able to have sex or children with a person with AIDS.

  • Not unless its necessary.

  • I have MS but if he were to leave me because of that, go ahead it just proves how much he cared about me.

  • No I wouldn't do that. We'll play it by ear

  • I never considered this... I'm pretty much the flunky one in my relationship.

    We're both virgins so no issues there. But of the two of us I'm the one who had a stroke, I'm the one who has heart attacks that run through her family, and I'm the one who has bad knees as a trait in the family. His biggest "genetic flaw" is that he happens to have extremely pale skin that burns easily :p

    • Stroke? That sounds serious, was it heat related or related to heart diseases? But my question was actually about more serious diseases haha, like... gradual paralysis or cancer.

    • I had a stroke when I was 9 days old due to a blood clot in my brain when I was born. As far as I know it was a total fluke and I'm obviously fine and recovered fully - nevertheless, the doctors say if I had a kid they'd monitor them closely for signs of a stroke.

What Guys Said 2

  • No. We're all humans and we're all flawed in some ways. Am I going to chose not to marry or have kids with the woman I love simply because she has certain medical vulnerabilities? No, that would be ridiculous.

    • What if it turns out she has cancer?

  • No, so far as I would be concerned, whatever problem she has would be a part of my life.