What are your opinions on prenups?

The way I see it a prenup is a way of admiting you have doubts about the other person. What do y'all think?


0|0
5|13

Most Helpful Guy

  • Prenuptual agreements are not so simple as you think.

    Given that most marriages in the US end in divorce, the odds are actually against you. The median length of marriages in the US is approximately 11 years. That's hardly "till death do us part".

    Prenups are very important if one - or both individual have considerable inheritable assets. For example, let's say Teasegirl has a brother... Teaseboy.

    Teasegirl gets married with no prenup agreement. Sometime in the future, your parents both die and both of you each inherit half of their assets. If you get into a divorce after this period, you stand to lose half of your inheritance value.

    That means your brother gets 50%. You get 25%. Your ex-spouse gets 25%. I am certain that is not how your dead parents intended all their hard work to be distributed.

    Prenup aren't necessary for all people. With most people living a low to middle wage income, a 50/50 split of assets is considered fair by most courts. Especially if the woman is a homemaker. It's generally looked upon as malicious, if the husband wants a prenup knowing he is the only wage earner, while the woman is a homemaker. A prenup would financially devastate her life if a divorce took place. That means the courts consider a homemaker an equally valued job.

    Really, prenups are only necessary if you have huge assets before the marriage, or if you have kids from a previous relationship and want to make sure your assets will be inherited by them in the future.

    1|0
    0|0
    • In a case like described at the end of your post a court here would simply overrule it. The law says that a partner with no income during the time the marriage lasted has to be taken care of by the other partner until it is possible for the first one to make a living on her own - if there are little children that needs 24/7 tending, that obligation can last several years.

      By the way a remark on the statistics: Here it's about 50% divorces, but there's a "big BUT" (no pun intended...)
      Chances are that, if you divorced once and got married again, you have double the risk of another divorce. Therefore it's not 50% of all marriages that are divorced but many marriages from people who have already been divorced before. Statistics are a tricky thing :D

What Guys Said 12

  • If 2 people are true to each other there's no need for the institution of marriage itself less the religious confirmations to it.

    I believe marriage is an institution created as a force by society and later used religion to solemnize it further (religion was created cause the thinkers realized society wasn't enough to control humans).

    According to me both marriage and prenups are contracts to bind the 2 together and keep individual as well as society's interests safe. Marriage is a security for society so that women and children aren't left destitute and prenups so that the woman (and children) don't leave the man destitute lol but fact - both are representations of mistrust (I'm sure I may get flak for saying that about marriage cause we today believe it to be something else than what it was designed for but aimed to make us perceive it as we do today)

    1|0
    0|0
  • Meh, I just see it as thinking ahead and covering all possible situations... yeah you want to trust people at the same time why leave it to chance?

    1|0
    0|0
    • You are already thinking it will fail

    • Nope, it's just a sensible thing to do in general... You don't think it will fail, it's more that if it ever did fail you wouldn't make a huge financial loss. I'm tempted to get one, even though I know i'll have no reason to 'distrust' any future partner. It's just good to be prepared for anything.

  • I'd need to read up more about what CA state laws are like and how a potential divorce could play out.

    Let's just say I hypothetically married a woman who had similar assets and earnings as I do. Unfortunately, the unforeseen happens and we end up getting divorced, and she gets half of my assets and a part of my future earnings for god-knows-how-long.

    Whether or not that's a likely or possible outcome, I don't really know. But the thought sure does scare the hell out of me. How could it not?

    0|0
    0|0
  • People shouldn't need them.

    In reality many more need them then have them.

    People view them (as I did) as this contract for if the marriage failed and I planned to marry forever.

    The thing is legal marriage is already to a large extent a contract for what happens if the marriage failed, and it's not the contract I would have written or my spouse would have asked for.

    There IS no option for 'no contract'. It's just a matter of which contract.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends on the place you live. I have no idea how it works in the US, but here in Switzerland the standard divorce case is, that both get, what was theirs before they got married and everything earned by both during the marriage is divided 50/50.
    It's though not a bad idea to write down who owns what at the beginning and getting each other's signature...
    Prenuptial agreements are very rare here. A friend of mine is a registrar and he told me once that it's maybe some 5 to 10% of all couples that make one.

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's how it should be !!

    • Yeah, pretty fair. If one partner had no income during the marriage (normally a woman with children), the wealthier partner has to pay quite some support for quite a while: until the other partner is able to make a living on her own. In the case of small children that can be an obligation of several years...

      Interestingly this is nothing too new: The foundation for this law was laid by Heinrich Bullinger, the famous church reformer from Zurich. He based it on some Old Testament reglementations, but don't nail me on which it was...

  • I think the decision to marry has enough worries as it is, to add unmitigated financial risk to the mix. I'd rather have a prenup and marry sooner (like after 2 years of dating/engagement), than go on and on in doubt (like some people who do it for 6 or more years)

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's a bad idea to sign one. I'm of the belief that signing a pre-nup means that a couple anticipates problems that they won't be able to resolve.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I used to think that way too. I never thought i was marrying the wrong person but i did. thats the real world. we all make mistakes and misjudge people. especially ones we have feelings for.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it's a way of protecting yourself in case the marriage sours on you. It's analogous to getting insurance on your house. You trust that a tree won't fall on it, but sometimes these things happen.

    0|0
    0|0
  • hmmm IMHO a prenup is the only way to go if you're not a Future Darwin Award Winner...

    (:

    0|0
    0|0
  • Unless you are actually religious, a prenup is only as indicative of doubts as marriage itself is.

    1|0
    0|0
    • And it's easy for a woman to say what you say. 92% of alimony is paid by men to women (not by women to men), and 90% of child custody goes to women. 80% of divorces are filed by women.

    • Show All
    • Well, I'm glad to hear it. But two points.

      1. As I said, unless you're religious and you don't believe that a relationship is valid without marriage, couldn't marriage be seen as an admission of doubt? After all, if you're not doubting him, why would you need him to sign the marriage document?

      2. I think hardly anyone gets married anticipating divorce. But 50% of marriages still end in divorce.

    • well I don't know I know that marriage or the "normal" one is to sign papers. But what about what it symbolizes? I don't necessarily need to do the legal stuff but yes a promise of a man loving me forever and me promising him that I will love him forever.

  • might be a good idea in todays day and age

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • I am split on the topic. On the one hand I value marriage so highly that I would never do anything to ruin it and I would like to think I would choose my spouse wisely to the point where a prenup would just be an insult to my faith in our union. I also would be extremely insulted if my future spouse said he wanted one because IF we were ever to split (heaven forbid) I would like to think that I'm not a selfish greedy bitch and would make the split as quiet as possible and just take what was mine (or nothing) and just leave.

    On the other hand, I can see where they'd be a good thing to protect what assets you personally have so they wouldn't be lost in a potential divorce.

    My boyfriend is in law school and his father is a lawyer (going to be a family business I think!) and neither one of them are in favor of prenups. They view it the same way you do: A prenup is basically admitting you doubt your marriage. His father is in favor of them for others, of course, he's not going to deny a client a prenup lol but he's very much against them in his personal life and apparently in his son's personal life as well.

    My boyfriend is actually very strongly against them. Should we marry it'll be in like the next 5 years (so he says) and let's be honest, as 25 year olds... we're not going to have much to our names to protect anyway :p

    0|1
    0|0
    • That is how I feel about it

    • The person whom one marries is not the person whom one divorces. People often depart marriages with resentment, anger, and vindictiveness, which is a complete 180 from how they often enter them. A person can literally wake up one day and, for no reason in particular, decide to divorce their spouse, taking half or nearly half of the couples possessions. Regardless if such a person entered the marriage with just the clothes on their back and/or did not support their partner or contribute financially or physically in the obtainment of such possessions. Paul McCartney had to give up close to fifty million dollars, correct me is wrong, as the result of the dissolution of a relatively short marriage. A marriage his now ex-wife entered with close to little in comparison to the capital she exited it with. A prenup in today's society, in my opinion, is a precaution to protect oneself, and nothing more.

  • It depends. If you're filthy rich and have a lot to lose, signing a prenup is simply realistic. People love to be all lovey-dovey and think that they will last forever and ever when they get married, but it's a FACT that around 50% of marriages end in a divorce. So if you have a lot to lose, it's better to sign one than to be sorry later. I don't see it as not trusting your partner or not believing it will work out. Sometimes shit just happens and it's good to be prepared. I'd rather have a prenup that I'd never have to use, instead of wishing I had one when the going gets too rough (if I so happened to be rich).
    And if you don't need one, don't get one. Simple as that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you are older, established, and have children. You could have a lot to lose. If you are young and just starting off than I think it seems a bit silly.

    1|1
    0|0
  • i can understand individuals with a lot of assets might feel anxious and i guess i would if i fit that description

    0|0
    0|0
  • I used to think that too and I would probably be hurt if my future husband even brought it up, but I believe now that there are some cases where it is a good and smart idea. My uncle's second marriage was to a younger woman and she stayed with him for just the # of years it took (in our state that is 7) and then she left him and took almost everything. It really has ruined him, not only financially but emotionally. So I think if it is a second marriage and they have children from a first marriage they should defiantly get a prenup.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...