Do I want marriage for the wrong reason?

I am in school and I live at home. My family situation is very unhappy due to emotional abuse. I am graduating school debt free. As soon as I can get a job I will move out because I can't stand it anymore.

But I hate my field and I'm finishing the degree because I have a big scholarship and I need it. Since it isn't costing me a lot maybe I can get a second degree after, that is my dream. But I also need to make enough money to support myself living out of the home.

I want to get married so badly. Mostly because I want to find the right person and I'm scared of being alone forever and I'm only getting older. But I can't deny that if I got married i won't have to worry how I am going to pay rent alone. We can share expenses and maybe going to school and working part time will be easier if I have a husband. I don't expect him to give me a free ride but this would make it easier for me. That way I can save up for school more if we get a cheap place or I can enroll in school while he works ( would only be a year or two of school) and then I can work also.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, paying the rent and getting married are two different issues.

    I know many people who made it on their own for many years before they got married. I think you're going to be financially OK without a spouse. It's great you're graduating debt free. That's a huge help.

    Now, as for wanting a husband because you want him to make you happy and vice versa, that's a good thing. In fact, that's a great thing! If you decide to marry because you love a man, and he makes you happy, and you will grow and learn from each other, I'd say those are all the right reasons. If it helps you finish graduate school faster, that's even better. Good luck!

    By the way, when you're over 40, you can't read words like "I'm only getting older..." from a twenty-something and not laugh.

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What Guys Said 3

  • The end of the day, these are things you have worked out and learnt to desire in life. if this is what you want, then there's nothing wrong in what you state, just remember, getting married can come with its own problems, its not all sugar and honey, and there's a good chance school has to wait until you can offord it, so really you need to weigh out the pro's and cons, otherwise you could end up married thinking things will be easier, because a lot of the time, it really is harder, good luck, x

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  • You should marry someone because you love him, you want to share the rest of your life with him, and you want to raise a family with him. Considering other things such as financial stability is okay, but it just sounds like you would be giving a little too much weight to this. You would need to find someone who wants the same things as you do and who would support your decision to get a second degree.

    Again, it sounds like you have the right idea, but you may be letting the financial aspect influence you a little too much.

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  • It's a hard call

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What Girls Said 2

  • This is a horrible reason to get married. I loved my ex husband but part of me getting into a marriage I saw failing was I wanted to buy a house together and get out of my parents house and I felt it would open opportunity. It was a horrible idea. This is is not why you get married. You will overlook red flags.

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  • Based on the way you worded your question, I think you already know the answer.
    It's okay to dream of marriage, and to want the security that comes with it. But I think you also have to make sure you're with the right person.
    Sure, I would love to have a boyfriend to move in with after I graduate, instead of worrying about finding a place on my own or finding roommates. But Im not just going to date or marry anyway just for that security.

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