Ladies, would you consider getting into a serious relationship with a man who does not want marriage or children?

I do, however, want to spend the rest of my life with someone. Not wanting marriage does not mean I am afraid of commitment.

Some things I would like to hear are if you would consider it, would you also try and change his mind?

  • I would consider it
    24% (8)0% (0)20% (8)Vote
  • I would not consider it
    44% (15)17% (1)40% (16)Vote
  • I would consider it, but only if I thought I could change his mind
    18% (6)0% (0)15% (6)Vote
  • I do not want kids or marriage either, so I prefer this
    14% (5)33% (2)18% (7)Vote
  • I'm lost and just want the results
    0% (0)50% (3)7% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I voted D, because I'm already in such a relationship.

    Feels good, man. Awesome to be with someone, who shares your views and doesn't try to change you or expects you to in the future.

    A lot of people say that I'll change my mind when I "grow up". Well, turning 26 this year, haven't changed my mind just yet.
    I actually wanted marriage and children when I was a teenager, but then I grew up and realized that actually I didn't really wanted that at all, that it's something that's been ingrained in me since childhood - all these expectations I had to meet just because I was a girl.

    I have decided for myself that I want an exciting life, not debt and diapers.

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    • They tell me that too, and I wonder how much growing up the expect me to do? I've worked since I was 14, been on my own since 18, lived in 3 different countries and soon to have 2 degrees. I think I know what I want my life to be. Sucks the over whelming majority of women wouldn't consider it!

    • It is quite a shame indeed.

      Nothing wrong with wanting a family and such, but how many people actually do that because they genuinely want to rather than what they were conditioned to believe they ought to want.

      At around 16 I was constantly bombared with hints on when I'd be getting married and having kids. Really? Is that honestly a smart thing to say to a teenager?
      What about career? Self growth?

      But I guess that's not really expected of women. As long as we have a ring and pop out a kid or two, we will be regarded as respectable members of society.

What Girls Said 22

  • I voted I would not consider it simply because I personally may want children some day. I haven't made a final decision on it but if I did want them we would simply be incompatible. I wouldn't want to not be able to or put him in that position where he couldn't live the life he wants without them.

    As far as marriage I personally could be okay with that. As long as it was still a healthy and lively relationship with honesty, communication, and respect, I'd be fine because I personally want the commitment more than a title or ring.
    Plus ever relationship that I've witnessed in my life has ended badly. I'm in no hurry anyway.

    Though I personally like the idea of marriage if it works out. I plan to be married and hope for the best. I know there are many women who don't want these things. It all depends on what specifically the individual woman wants in her life.

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    • Also I want to add, to anyone who voted "C". I highly suggest you rethink this if you are ever in a situation like this where you think you can change someone's mind.

      Sometimes it works but more often than not it won't. People want what they want and the only way change can come is from within themselves. You can do or say whatever you want, you can tell them your opinion every day, in the end it all ends with what they want to do.

      We just can't change other people. Sometimes they may go through the motions to please you but they'll get tired of that if their heart isn't really in it and they don't really want that change in their life.

      I think everyone should find someone they're truly compatible with from the beginning if they can.

    • Really fond of your update.

  • first one to say yes! I'd consider. Both people have to actually be okay with that lifestyle, and I would definitely explore that for myself. I'm not set on marriage and I'm not a huge kid person. However, I would warn the guy that I'm also not set on NOT having kids. so that relationship would be rocky.

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    • to add to that... I would need to let the guy know that if I decided I wanted kids, I would probably also consider ending the relationship. I could easily find a man who wants kids - I could probably find a man I would be very happy with at that. So, the relationship draw in my first relationship would be a sad one, and it would make me upset, but I'd do it if I ended up deciding I really wanted children... And all of this would be disclosed up front, so no surprises.

  • Depends on how old I'd be at the time, if I wanted children, what my life goals are, how much I had left I wanted to do in life (i.e; traveling...)

    as of right now, I wouldn't consider it. I would not try to change his mind because more than likely, that could be a life goal of his and set. Same for me at the time.

    That's like drinking.. becoming a recovering alcoholic. Once you're in recovery, you can't hang around others like you did before, that are still drinkers. You can't change them just because you think you can just so you can hang around them. Some things are just set in stone, at least until they say otherwise.

    Maybe if they fell in love with you, truly, that enough would change their mind to have children.

    But every female is different.

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  • I'd prefer it that way. Especially the children part. Marriage is ehhh.

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  • I wouldn't consider it. Wanting marriage and kids are non-negotiable for me. I'd date you casually right now if I found you attractive because I'm not ready for either yet. But when I was ready, I wouldn't consider it.

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  • No, I wouldn't consider it. We'd have different goals in life and it's hard to make a relationship work in that case. You can't have half a kid.

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  • No I couldn't consider. I have 2 children now. I knew from when I was young that I always wanted to be a mother. That's just a part of who I am. I can't change that so I can't change anyone else and for that I'm out.

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    • I think he meant children with him. Like would not having more kids be a deal breaker.

    • I know. Even if I didn't have the children I have I would want to have a child. Like I said ever since I could remember I wanted to be a mother.

  • Yeah, I could consider it. I don't particularly want children and I guess if he was wonderful and there was total (as much as possible) relationship security, I could do without marriage.

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  • No.

    beepboopbeep.

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  • I've thought about this. But lately I've thought I couldn't see myself in a serious relationship without getting married at some point. What's the difference between a serious relationship and marriage besides a ring and a certificate. So to me it doesn't really make much sense

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    • What if he was willing to buy you an expensive ring, and throw you a giant party in honour of your love?

    • Show All
    • Sorry if I'm getting confusing. Yes I would consider it it would practically be a marriage except a ring to show off and a piece of paper

    • Ah ok, yes it was a little confusing, thanks for clarifying!

  • Absolutely not.
    That's actually the only reason why I would consider a relationship now if he was serious about kids.

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  • Most women want those things so naturally they won't be interested in you. And if they are they will more then likely try to change your mind. You have to find a woman that wants the same things you do (or doesn't want in this situation) but you are young, you may find yourself wanting those things later in life.

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  • 100% no. I would like to get married and the number one thing i want in life are children. so if i knew a guy didn't want them then i would walk away asap.

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  • Yes i would consider it because i dont want marriage and kids too

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    • You should have voted "D" then. Do you find yourself happy with that choice at the age you are at? I can't imagine my future with kids and a wife. I want to be a DINK (Double Income No Kids) that's the dream!

    • but then if the guy is right , probably i would think of marriage kids are a no no. i like to travel around the word freely with kids i dont think i can. yes i am happy at the choice i made, marriage and having children have never been on my list since small

    • I am the same way.

  • I wouldn't consider it at all.

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  • That sounds perfect for me, no I wouldn't try and change you because I feel the same way

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  • Not a chance. We want completely opposite lifestyles and when you have such clear cut lines in the relationship, someone's going to have to compromise. It won't be me.
    Plus, I don't want to waste my time thinking he'll come around to it, someday.

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  • Yes. Mirage just don't have the same meaning behind it anymore. I myself do not want mirage. However that is something for both people in a relationship to discuss. Each person is different and can change there minds.

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    • Marriage***
      I don't even think it's meaning before was very good :| ownership over women. Trading them for property etc. Gross.

  • I'd be okay with it.

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  • I would make a crappy mother anyway, so why not?

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  • I would maybe

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  • The kids I can deal with. But I want to be married.

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What Guys Said 4

  • My girlfriend has been trying to get her tubes tied since she was 22, but no doctors will do it. She's as sure as anything though, you should see the look on her face when a kid at the supermarket or something starts screaming. I was never really into it either. Honestly, I'm too selfish to be a good parent. That's why I'm going to just coach football and borrow other people's kids for a couple hours three or four days a week, haha. I'm great with kids as long as I can send them home to someone else!

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  • It's been my experience that they will still date you until you both get to that point in the relationship where real consideration is being put into it and they learn first hand that you're not going to budge on your views.

    When you tell them in the early dating phase they often just brush it off to the side...

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  • I've actually considered a vasectomy but I don't think my insurance would cover it. So any girl getting involved with me is going to hate what they hear on my stances on this.

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    • Not every girl, though.

      Vasectomy = unlimited sexy times with no risk of babies. Sounds like a win/win to me.

      Though aren't you supposed to be a certain age to qualify for one? Around 30 or something?

    • Yea that's what I figured. Plus I wouldn't have to worry about condom breaks, hole punches, etc, just STDs if unprotected.

      I don't know about the age but if it's 30 I wouldn't be far at all being 29.

    • Amen, the vasectomy thing would be a non issue.

  • This thread is relevant to my interests.

    Good job figuring it all out so young.

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