I don’t agree with women doing marriage proposals. Does anyone else feel the same way?

Lately, I’ve been hearing so much about women buying their own engagement rings and then proposing marriage to their boyfriends. I think it’s kind of ridiculous, and I’m pretty sure most men who want to get married don’t want their women proposing to THEM. I’m perfectly fine with women asking guys out, paying for dates, all of that – but I think proposals are something really special that should be left up to the man. Same with choosing the ring and paying for it, that should always be the man’s responsibility. I think that women popping the question to their men is just another trendy fad, to be honest.

Ladies, we can’t take everything away from the guys in terms of dating and relationships. I honestly don’t think any man is going to take a proposal from his girlfriend seriously. There is an element of romance when a man proposes to his girlfriend, and I think it’s lost when the roles are reversed.

I put a poll up, but I'd really like people to express their thoughts.

  • Only men should propose.
    52% (15)31% (8)42% (23)Vote
  • Only women should propose.
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • I don't care either way.
    48% (14)69% (18)58% (32)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
As with many of my opinions, I am evidently the only person who feels this way, lol. I just think it's a bit strange when a woman proposes to her boyfriend. Maybe I am not as forward thinking as I thought I was.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't believe in society setting strict gender roles (or hell any rules for that matter) that dictate what other people do with their lives.
    Do whatever the hell you want. Live your life I'll live mine. If a girl wants to propose that's cool. It doesn't have anything to do with me if a guy wants to propose that's cool. Plus it's a win for the guy because he doesn't have to buy an expensive ring that she may/may not like or that may/may not fit her and the guy doesn't have to plan out an expensive proposal dinner all that. I can easily see the appeal in it for both the guy and the girl.

    I personally would prefer my boyfriend propose to me, but I don't think a woman proposing is taking anything away from a man. If he wants to propose he needs to do it dammit! If he's been waiting around for 3 years, you're living together, basically married but have no ring and he's not taking that step I see nothing wrong with a woman stepping to the plate.

    I don't believe in marriage proposals out of nowhere. That's a life commitment that should be talked about at least a year before the proposal happens. Little things like planning how many kids you'd have together, your religious/cultural upbringing, WHO YOU'D RATHER PROPOSE, and where you'd spend holidays together their parents house or yours are very important discussions to have before you even think about engagement (you know.. engagement to marry the person you'll spend the rest of your life with).

    It's stupid to sit around and wait for a guy to do anything. This isn't the 50s anymore, but that doesn't mean that you can't choose to if that's what you want to do. Just don't push your ideals on other people.

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What Guys Said 15

  • I don't see what's the big deal. Gender roles have changed a lot, and women today are capable of doing almost everything which were previously considered 'a man's job'. Its actually the intention of being married that matters, so I don't see how the gender of the one who proposes becomes relevant here. In today's world, it helps a lot to be open-minded about everything around us. I've realized this from my personal experience.

    As for me, if I were in a long-term committed relationship and we were sure of getting married, then it wouldn't matter at all whether I proposed or she did. In fact, if she does it, I would be pleasantly surprised and in fact would admire/respect her even more for breaking out of the traditional mold. Its not a 'fad' at all. I certainly feel that we need to appreciate such women for taking this bold step for a happy life, in spite of knowing that the society would probably criticize their action.

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  • I don't think it should matter. Granted I am against marriage in general, I feel if a couple wants marriage badly enough, either gender can propose. The worst that happens is the guy says no.

    At least the woman's not relying on the man to buy her everything and such. Plus some live in couples that have kids have a stay-at-home dad believe it or not. So if you got a non-married couple living together with a woman as the breadwinner, who is going to buy the stuff?

    A proposal means that the person wants to marry that other person. That's all it means. Plus we got homosexual couples getting married as well. If you got a lesbian couple, having that "man only" mentality just implies that one is "the bitch" in the relationship when we should never have that mentality.

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  • If people want to propose, they should propose, man or woman.
    My dad proposed to my mom in a bar, without a ring, telling her it would bring tax benefits if they would marry. They are still together. I know of some "fairy tale" proposals and weddings that didn't last that long.

    People should feel each other on this one.
    I'm perfectly fine with women doing their own proposal, but if I notice the woman is "waiting for me to ask", I'll take own action (even though I don't even want to marry myself).
    If you are dating a guy who is very traditional, don't beat him to it.

    If you can't feel each other on this one, are you really ready for that commitment yet?

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  • For me since I am a old fashioned guy I believe it is the mans duty to propose to the women I mean you would think women would rather be happy and surprised with being ask to marry a guy. Then just ruin it for both people by springing it on him and to be completely honest I would rather ask a women myself rather then being asked myself it just does not seem right. Not to say a women asking is going to make the moment any less happy but a guy asking a women will have a greater impact on the women then her asking for a guy to marry her.

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  • Honestly this is something I have never even thought about. But while it may be strange at first I can't see any problem with it.

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  • I honestly don't care as long as it has been discussed in the same way it would be with a guy asking. I think if I ever get married again, it will be just her and I. When we decide we are close enough to be married, then we will call ourselves married. Maybe we can pray together and ask God to consider us to be married. Then, as far as I am concerned, we are married as much as anyone else regardless of what this illegitimate govt says.

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  • I don't think it matters either way. Like anything else in life if you want something you have to take the initiative whether you're a man or a woman or someone else will. We can't just wait for things that may never come.

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  • I don't care either way...for how other people do it.

    I'm sure I fell victim to social construct and all that jazz, but with me and my life, I want to be the one to propose (if it ever happens).

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  • ahaha, it's like that movie "leap year." amy adams or whoever tells the irish guy why she's there and he bursts out laughing. "... a stupid gimmick for women trying to rope in a man who obviously does not want to be married!"

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  • The thought of someone buying a ring for themselves then asking me to marry them just doesn't feel right.

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  • This is a trick question, the correct answer is no one should ask because getting married is stupid.

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    • Why bother answering the question then?

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    • sure it is, you asked if anyone feels the same way as you about women not doing the marriage proposal. I agree with you 100% I also add that men should not ask as well.

    • Okay, thanks for your honesty.

  • think of it as a sadie hawkins

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  • feminists would disagree

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  • I don't care either way since I never plan on getting married.

    However I do think Women proposing is rather odd. Since Iv never heard of them doing that before. That's something iv always associated with men doing.

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  • For those women who agree with the QA, ask yourselves why. I thought women wanted equality. I thought women wanted to put an end to gender roles. What happened to all of that?

    It's a rhetorical question...we men have known the answer all along.

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    • Only the militant feminazis really think that way. There's no way to completely eliminate gender roles in society since men and women are not the same. I'm also not trying to undo everything that real feminists have stood for over so many years with this opinion. I just think it can be pretty emasculating to a man if his girl proposes to him.

    • Show All
    • I believe in equality if you read my answer you'll see that, but just because some women want it doesn't mean all women do and that's ok.
      Just because some black people fought for civil rights didn't mean all black people did. You had a LOT who actually just thought there was no way to have full equality in society so why not try. Then, you had a few that didn't mind being segregated from white people at all. Does that mean the civil rights movement should have never happened? No.

      I pay for dates when I go out with my boyfriend just as much as he does. In fact, I'm actually the bread winner in the relationship. I think it should be 50/50 though TRULY 50/50, not that "let's reverse roles" shit because that gets you nowhere. Feminazis who think that are terrible people. That'd be like a black person saying "let's put all white people in slavery". No, that isn't the answer. That isn't my goal. My goal is equality for all and for everyone to have CHOICES

    • Choices meaning if OP wants a "traditional marriage" then cool so be it, but if some other girl wants to propose to her boyfriend (or hell even her girlfriend I don't care) then so be it.
      I have no interest in regulating what and how other people handle their lives, but I do want the glass ceiling to be destroyed so that people have the CHOICE to do whatever the fuck they want with their lives without other people telling them how to do it and why.

What Girls Said 9

  • No. I think that the couple should mutually like decide. Or it could be either partner

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  • It does seem a bit strange to me because I'm a little old fashioned when it comes to things like that. Do I care if a woman proposes to a guy? Not really. BUT, I would never, ever, ever propose to my boyfriend. I think it would be more romantic if he did it.

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  • I honestly don't believe I'm ever going to be in a situation of proposal, but if I will be, I think I'm going to be too busy having fun with my partner to actually think about any serious obligations. As for the rest of the society... Live and let live, it's all between the partners. If neither the girl nor the guy mind it, then why the hell not?

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  • Why no option "Either may propose"?

    Personally I'm not interested, so it doesn't matter to me. Generally speaking, I don't understand what would be the problem with the woman proposing to the man.

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    • Oh that's what I thought option C was for.

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    • Doesn't matter I would never let a woman propose to me and she would expect me to do it as would many other women.

    • Then I'm sure the kind of women who want want to date a guy with an attitude like yours will agree with you anyways.

      Personally I think there's hardly any attitude more toxic than the "it's always been that way" attitude.

      www.audienceview.com/.../Hopper-Quote.jpg

  • I would much rather the guy do it.

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  • In my opinion I think proposals are a man's job.

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  • I wouldn't do it but if women want to propose then I won't judge them for it. I can imagine it may be better for the woman to propose in some cases.

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  • My boyfriend would laugh at me if I proposed haha.

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  • I think it depends on the couple, their relationship, and their own personal opinion. It isn't up to me or anyone else to say "well, girls can't propose that's not right" I think it depends on the situation and the specific people involved. Same with the ring, whoever wants to purchase it should be able to. No one has a right to day "that is wrong." There is no right or wrong way.

    Personally, I would want to be proposed to, I don't want to do the proposing, but that's just my opinion.

    Props to the girls who squash the stereotypes and all the sexism and do it themselves. And props to the girls who don't do it because they don't want to. It doesn't really matter as long as the relationship is happy, healthy, and both people involved want what is happening.

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