Why do I suck so much?
I'm about to turn 20 and I've never even come in physical contact with another female. I've never had the courage to ask a girl out. I've attempted, but my whole body seizes up and I have a panic attack, at which point I have to leave the building immediately and I hide in my apartment for hours. I'm 5'5'' (which automatically eliminates most because potential girls because they seem to want guys that are 5'8''+) and skinny (125lb no kidding)
I've tried to have courage but when it comes to the critical moment, I just seize up, I've never been approached by another girl, Is it because I'm ugly piece of sh*t. Is it because I'm a college student with no car. I've just been suppressing any feelings get for a girl because I know they'll never want a scrawny little sh*t like me. I have no faith in my self at all. I feel like I should just kill my self because nobody will ever want to be with me.
Even when I do talk to a girl, I feel like the whole time I'm annoying the sh*t out of her with my lame attempts a jokes and strange ramblings. Oh plus I have Neurofibromatosis which causes me to suck a every sport I play (I played bowing for 3 years and never once improved) and causes me to have these little bumps on my neck and back. (although not nearly as bad as the images you'll find on Google). I pretty much suck at everything
(sorry about the structure and the ramblings , I can't write worth a sh*t)
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