Does anyone have advice on how to stop being a "nice guy" without becoming a jerk?

I don't wanna be stepped on anymore. I'm sick and tired of giving and not getting. I think its about time to prioritize my own needs. How can i get what i want, and stop getting stepped on without going to the other extreme (being a jerk)?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You can’t please everyone
    It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations.
    There will always be people — no matter what we say or how we treat them — that will judge us. Whether you’re at the gym, at work, taking the train, or even online playing Call of Duty. Even now it‘s happening. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can stop it from affecting you.

    Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen when someone is judging you or what you’re doing.

    I guarantee that chances are — nothing will happen. Absolutely nothing. No one is going to go out of their busy lives to confront us, or even react for that matter. Because as I mentioned before, no one actually cares. What will happen, is that these people will actually respect you for claiming your ground. They may disagree with you, but they’ll respect you.

    Start standing up for what you believe in — causes, opinions, anything. You’re going to have people that disagree with you anyways, so why not express how you truly feel?
    I’ve learnt that it’s better to be loved by a few people you care about, than to be liked by everyone. These are family, friends, spouse — the people who love you for who you are, and the people who will be there for you during your worst times. Focus on these people. They’re the only people that matter.

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    • First and foremost. You need to know what’s important to you in life, what you truly value, and what you’re ultimately aiming for. Once you know who you really are and what matters to you, what other people think of you become significantly less important. When you know your values, you’ll have something to stand up for — something you believe in.

      You’ll stop saying yes to everything. Instead, you’ll learn to say no when friends pressure you to go bar-hopping, or when a tempting business opportunity that distracts you from your business.

      When you have your values straight, you have your shit straight

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't know who told you that but vein nice doesn't mean you let people walk all over you. But being a push over does. You can be nice and stand up for yourself, in fact your even nicer because now your nice to yourself.
    There's nothing wrong with giving people the benefit of the doubt but when they so something rude address them about it. Don't be afraid to tell people when they're bothering you

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    • Is there a way to know when your giving too much? If i give less, will i get more?

    • Some people take more than they give but me and most people think they're asshole. But they end up alone because when you only take people eventually stop giving.
      Know your giving too much when that person doesn't return the favor. Small examples are you loan them money but that never pay you back or offer to by you anything. You are their shoulder to cry on but no where to be found when you need them

  • You can be nice, just don't be a pushover.

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    • I'm trying to find out how to stop being a pushover without being rude, mean, arrogant, and demanding.

What Guys Said 7

  • You have to stop caring about what others think of you and you have to accept that some people won't like you.

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  • Make a move. The "nice guy" is the guy who wants to be more than just friends, but doesn't say anything.

    It's also known as the friendzone.

    Make a move sooner and either get rejected and move on, or see where the relationship goes from there.

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  • I was in the same spot as you a few years ago. Now I push for what I want, whether be it sex, hanging out, or being friends with the girl. You have to let them know (in some way shape or form) what YOU want. Know where you stand, know your truth, and know your worth

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    • Is there some kind of line drawn between being direct, and being demanding?

    • Show All
    • Stand your ground, know your truth, know your worth

    • Ok, that makes sense. Thanks

  • then be a little bit jerk.. just a little bit

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  • You dont have to be a Jerk just be strict and tough but not a jerk

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  • Just learn how to say no to something you don't want to do

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  • Just say No. Or Nope I can't do this or that

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