How many of you believe that gender roles are a good thing?

I know I will most likely get hateful comments on this post, but feel free to do as you wish.
I am a christian woman. I do not hate on others for their choices. But I also have my number of opinions.
In my opinion, gender roles are necessary. Call me oldfashioned but it is what it is. I believe a womans job is to cook, clean, and care for the children while the husband works. I believe it is a womans job to make her husband feel loved, adored, cared for, and taken care of sexually. I believe it is a womans job to stand by her husband, no matter how unappealing his ideas are. And it is the husbands duty to also adore his wife as she has done for him. I believe that technology and modern day views are going to be the downfall of the country. (Dont get me wrong, I believe that a career led woman with good morals, intentions and work ethic should be treated equally as men do.)
But it is now seen as normal to be unfaithful, unloyal, homosexual, slutty, etc.
In the bible it is made clear that homosexuality and adultry is a sin. Everyone sins, I understand. And I also realize that people were "born" gay. Or so some claim. I have no input on that because I have many homosexual friends and it is not my place to say what it right or what it wrong. However, I guess my views on the whole thing is completely different from others because I am a christian woman and was raised differently than most. I do not believe that homosexuals should be able to get married. Before you jump to hasty assumptions, let me explain. (I am not passing judgement, I am simply stating my beliefs.) Marriage is a term used in the bible between man and woman. Marriage between two females or two males is wrong in my eyes. Not because they are gay, but because it is using a biblical term to label a sin. I believe that instead of marriage, in should be a partnership of some sort.
Maybe it is the way I was raised, maybe not. But life back in the day they had better views than todays modern life.

Updates:
Back then, there was a lot of stuff going on. The great depression, sickness, this and that. But the overall views and the overall understanding of the people in general is what kept things from falling apart. (minus slavery which is so morally wrong that it makes me sick to my stomach).
Upon fancying a woman you had to ask for the fathers permission. Sex before marriage was frowned upon. There was the rarity of teen pregnancy, though there were still some.
Fathers were only gone because of death, war, or work.
Obviously everything that goes on today was there back then, but there was far less of it. Being a history teacher myself, I sit back and view these textbooks, reading the same things over and over and can't help but wish that I had had the opportunity to life within some time periods back then.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think there is an extent to how far following traditional gender roles should go. Your old fashioned attitudes regarding premarital sex, same-sex marriage and such belong in the past, for example.

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    • Maybe so, but I will never change my views for the sake of others. I have been asked on occasion to join equality marches, join feminist groups, help raise the child of a teenage girl whom decided she couldn't take responsibility. Such things are considered "normal" to most, but I really just don't understand why.

    • You're entitled to your views, you don't let others force theirs on you and don't force yours on them either (I hope) so it's all good.

    • Oh no, I definitely don't try to force my beliefs. Normally I keep them to myself because I don't believe anyone should be led astray from their beliefs for the sake of mine. I posted this to hopefully find some like minded folks just so I wouldn't feel alone within my views.

What Guys Said 11

  • I can't stand any and all forms of gender roles for the same reason that I don't like people making assumptions about anyone else. I don't think we should make assumptions about gender for the same reasons we shouldn't make assumptions about race or any other physical feature or personal identifier. For this reason alone I couldn't be with someone who expected stuff out of me due to my gender because I would never expect the same from a woman I'm with. That's pretty much all I have to say about that.

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    • Holy shit I didn't even read the second paragraph.. How does that even relate to gender roles?

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    • @electrollama how does that compare to gender roles of people of two different genders being together though? I thought that was the point of the question not the gender dynamics of same sex relationships.

    • Maybe she was anticipating some kind of rebuttal on that subject.

  • Not only a good thing. But necessary.

    by the way, didn't read that novel. But I assumed the details...

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  • Teen pregnancy wasn't a rarity in the olden days it was rife, it was hidden by churches and families. The mother was sent away to a relative or a home to have her child. When the child was born it was either adopted or raised by its mothers family as their own child never knowing that their sister was really their mother. a lot of teen mothers were not allowed to come home and they were imprisoned in womens homes and mental institutions until their family had them released, some women never being released. It didn't matter if the woman was raped or didn't know any better she was just branded a whore and sent away. Thats what poor sex education and christian fundementalism and so called traditional values brought. We have come along way since the fifties.

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  • I'm all for gender equality, but if she doesn't let me be a gentleman and open doors for her, that's a deal breaker.

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  • I believe gender roles are a bad thing. They are expectations of how a person should live. I don't think it's a sin for women to be financially independent or a man to stay at home or for a man to like something that society thinks is a girl thing. Gender roles dictate that all those things make it okay to respect that person less. That's what gender roles are mostly about in the end. Taking care of the family is essential, but I don't see any harm from the father having those roles, aside from breastfeeding. Maybe you can elaborate on how some alternative gender roles are bad. I don't think sexuality has anything to do with gender though, so we don't have to discuss homosexuality.

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    • Good point well made. I also do not believe it is bad to have a father whom stays home with the children. A father in a child's life is just as important as the mothers appearance. Homosexuality didn't play a part in the gender roles. Just my overall belief. But you are right. I should have stated what gender roles were wrong in my eyes.

  • I see a place for gender roles. But nowhere near to the extent that you do.
    A wife's duty is to submit herself to her husband, but, the verse right after says husbands needs to give himself to his wife in all things. (And just to reinforce how this isn't sexist, the bible doesn't say anything about ALL women submitting themselves to ALL men. If he ain't her husband, he can kiss her cornbread.)
    I don't really think that means that a woman had to do the cleaning and the man has to bring home the food.
    Yes, women are meant to be more nurturing (hence those big fleshy parts) which can mean that a woman is more often needed at home.
    Does this mean we can't have career women or stay at home dads?
    Of course not.
    Women are generally better than men at some things, and vice versa. That's okay.

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  • Yeah, I disagree. Gender roles are outdated, we should see things as a list of tasks, and not as "a list of tasks that a male or female has to do because they were born with a penis or a vagina respectively." Yeah, it is better if I don't fix pipes and stuff. We should ask a specialist to do it.

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  • It is something that has been there since the beginning of mankind. It is something which most people want (probably subconsciously) even if they might not admit it. Even I believe gender roles should be there..

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  • Read my mytake: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a7834-the-actual-difference-between-sex-gender-in-detail

    I'm a devout born-again Christian, and I don't see the point in assigning a given non-anatomical behavior or action to only one sex.

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  • good?

    oh god... we live in da 21st century :|

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  • they aren't a bad thing ill give you that but i do believe in some way they give more structure to everything

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think that you've hit upon a broad range of human behavioural lifestyle choices that conflicts with Christian beliefs, which if you so choose to live within the boundaries of, restricts your lifestyle, or at least narrows down what you may view as moral, and broadens what you believe to be immoral. Not to say that is wrong, it is just what you believe and therefore incorporate into your day to day living. I think putting religious beliefs aside, with regard to gender roles, I believe that every couple has between them, whether female, male, heterosexual, gay, lesbian or even bisexual to name a few coupling examples, as individuals, have strengths, and between them, should use said strengths to ease each others work load. My partner for e. g is a professional chef, so often cooks family meals, I know he can cook better than me, so I let him take control of the kitchen, but I am very academic, have better organisation skills than he, so I take care of banking and budgeting. Ultimately, we are happy, chores are evenly split to work within each others, we pull together as a family. Gender doesn't really come into it, being a supportive partner is what really counts, regardless of the gender dynamics within the relationship. My son is bisexual, he is a wonderful well rounded young man, he can cook, wash up, do laundry & manage day to day chores, why? Because he is single, and at 20, no longer a child that needs mothering with day to day chores, and knowing he is bisexual, he may spend his life with a man. I have no problem with that. But won't be doing both his & his partners washing weekly because they're both men & deemed excused from developing their independents skills because of such.

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    • Very good point well made. Thank you for your opinion and giving me the opportunity to see this from a different view. Also, very well written. I enjoy a good read. Some or most actually, of my friends are homosexual. I dont judge based off what they like within the sexes because it is not my place to tell people what or who they should like or shouldn't. My husband has a full time position as a executive within his company. I stay home and do the chores while he is away, while taking care of our two children. This lifestyle has worked for me, as yours is doing wonders for you. Thank you for not picking apart my beliefs as well. I really appreciate that. Some people are getting very hostile in saying my beliefs are wrong and should be vanished from society. So I appreciate your kind approach and wish you the best!

  • Not reading the details because you couldn't bother to put in a form that wasn't a giant obnoxious block of text. So to answer the title question:

    I think in some instances gender roles are a good thing, but in other instances they need to be let go already. A happy medium would be ideal.

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    • A giant block of obnoxious text... Yet you decide to comment just the same. Thanks for your opinion. As I stated in my obnoxious text, I do believe that a woman with good morals and work ethic should be treated equal within the work force. So in that sense, yes, a happy medium would be splendid.

  • I agree with most of what you said except the part about the women's place is in the kitchen. i think guys should know how to cook and do laundry and raise his children too not just the women. also to back up your opinion on gay marriage (I am Christian as well) Apparently some people actually are born gay. I don't know I don't have a comment on that because I don't know what that's like i like men like I always have. this is pretty disgusting but think about it: a penis and a vagina are like a puzzle piece. you get 2 girls together and the puzzle doesn't fit and I think that's the way God intended it. also America was founded on the principals of God and his rule so by legalizing gay marriage we are slapping George Washington in the face basically.

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  • I feel that any kind of gender roles are a bad thing

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    • They surely can be in some aspects. Many of you have made good points within the comments that I have never thought over. I believe that the overall gender roles have a good and useless outcome. Some, such as work place environments gender roles, should not be around. I do not believe a woman with good morals and work ethic should be frowned upon or paid less simply based of her being female.

  • i dont believe so.

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