Guys, Is it hopeless?

Over the past several years of my life I've faced more and beat more than most my age, I don't mean that to brag but it's true, I was born with cataracts I was basically legally blind and had surgery for a toddler putting an artificial lens in my eye. I had to wear an eyepatch before the surgery just starting school for months and being an only child also it set me back socially horribly, And at home I was always alone, my parents were good to me and raised me right but a kid needs other children around and I just didn't have that. My Dad was military (hit back and screw zero tolerance kinda guy) and mom was overprotective. Growing up I worked my way up socially, some people noticed me more but I was looked over a lot That's when I was hit by a type of anxiety panic attack disorder, at 14 I had to learn to control my mind more than most do in a lifetime it was hard and but I'm proud to say it's under control to the extent I skydive now and I always denied any offer on medication for it, (don't believe in mental meds) high school I continued working up, I was a funny guy but I got attention. was even elected VP for my class just because of my outspokenness and humor. Junior year on a jump I asked one of the most beautiful girls in my class to prom and she said yes. I fell for her like an idiot, she shot me down pretty bad that night when I asked her out afterwards. My senior year my dad who I respect more than anyone died of cancer three months to the day after he was diagnosed. He saw me graduate but that was it. I've watched my mom break down for a year, had checks on horrible disorders like muscle dystrophies, multiple rejections in that time and also, well I lost my hair, I lost over half my scalp hair to early balding in a years time doctors were impressed. I'm only 19 and shave it bald, I worked my ass off to get where I am and I am proud of what I have done and know I'm more mature than most from my generation. But the future seems gone- continued-

Updates:
, I always feared one thing more than any;being alone or settling. I have high stabdards that I could never change but I only need one girl to love and spoil. But I feel no attractive girl my age would date a shaved bald 19 year old with no experience-I've never even been on a date. I've survived it all just to end up alone again, and I'm damn tired of it. I could have the best job in the world but if I couldn't get a girl I was attracted to I'd say no to all of it I just couldn't be happy.

0|0
9

Most Helpful Girl

  • If a girl is to ever turn you down because you're a bald 19 year old with no experience then she's just shallow and completely immature & silly, and isn't worth your time, trust me you don't wan't that type of person in your life. everyone deserves better than that. the right people will come to you and they won't care that you're bald and have no experience. The fact that you're bald and have no experience doesn't define you as a person. There are actually some really attractive bald men out there. And some girls like guys with little experience rather than guys who have been with tons of other girls, In the end non of that matters. Just try your best to wake up happy and love yourself because nobody can fully love you until you love yourself. There is millions of people out there and you have time I promise. don't worry about being alone you won't be alone forever. It's not hopeless. it's never hopeless unless you give up, just don't give up and there's always a possibility for your dreams if you just hang in there for a little while longer. Things don't have to be perfect.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I never said they have to be perfect I know life with always have some problem but for me alone, or with a girl I wasn't attracted to for body AND mind, I just couldn't do it. I'll face more than a lot are willing to and am not afraid to tell people who are indecent and full of themselves to screw off (look at the posts I wrote to the guy below who was saying men have more power and acting like a scumbag) and I'm proud that I can stand up like that and what I've accomplished but alone... Or with someone I wasn't attracted to in both body and mind. I just couldn't do it.

      I do very much appreciate you post and hope you are right about things coming true, so thank you.

    • I can agree with your opinion, but in regards to your first sentence I really disagree. Everyone has preferences when it comes to looks and everyone shares that 'shallowness' the same. in my opinion.

    • So how is that disagreeing? no disrespect I'm truly confused the first sentence was I couldn't be happy without a girl I was attracted to for her body and mind both and you said we all have that inherent level of (shallowness) just that it's personal preference (although I do believe certain things are generally unattractive) I'm just confused as it looks like we agreed

What Girls Said 1

  • its not hopeless!

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 9

  • It's not hopeless, man. Women often fall in love with a man's heart.

    Work on your heart. A woman is going to love it, being around it, she probably will love the sight of a bald man. Learn to be soft, caring. Learn never to take a woman's love or companionship for granted. Learn to cherish her, to be conscious of her, to respond to her tenderness in kind.

    Learn to do these things... And women will want to get to know you. Very few men actually truly care about their wives... Women love a man who actually will love them more than themselves.

    I have been to this man for deliverance from mental illnesses, and even got healed from physical illnesses. He does it for free. There is a spiritual world out there my friend, and your mom may be affected by it. This has been my personal experience.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10oaihoGSdI

    I would seek deliverance for your mom and you my friend.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I appreciate the concern but my mother made it through. I did have to get in a doctors face after he put her on way to strong of drugs that zoned her out. But she healed without drugs after that. She follows Christianity. Me, I don't know where I stand on that to be honest I'd like to believe that God is there but don't know. But my will is strong and throughout my life the only reliable thing I know. Besides my fathers will but he is gone now. My mind is set now, I beat the anxiety and know myself better than most for it. I skydive and love it, I know my inner workings.

    • I am sorry to hear about your view on Jesus, it would be a great comfort to your mom to know her son followed a similar path.

      But beating the anxiety without drugs is commendable. I have beat it similarly. I have not had any mood medication in 15 years. Depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar. All under control without drugs.

    • I respect that, and I am taking bible studies from a friend who is a preacher, but it's more to sort out territory, it's something I can't really perceive honestly but I do not believe we came from nothing, maybe it will latch to me.

      You know on an off topic hopefully people hear more stories like ours off beating mental health issues without a drug, I studied up a lot when I was struggling and it all seems like doctors and anyone pushes meds, thankfully my father was against it and though he was harsh it was with goodwill and it made me stronger. But for many they start to believe those drugs are the only way to endure those issues and many times they don't even help or make it worse on those I've seen, I hope someday people will throw out mental meds entirely and open the door to being able to overcome it without through their own perseverance. I know not everyone was raised as hardcore as I was with the military backgrounds. But I think a lot of people could beat it anyway.

  • You appear to wear your life's issues like a badge of courage, which is typically a good thing. But sometimes how a person writes, talks, and acts; it comes off more as arrogance. I'm not saying you're arrogant, people may just perceive you that way.

    My question is, did you really think we needed to know that much about your backstory to answer your question? Or do you just like hearing people stroke your ego or fill themselves with pity?

    Once again I'm not saying your are like this, I'm saying that's how I perceive you, based on what you wrote. I wouldn't find it too hard to believe that others could come to the same conclusion.

    You appear to enjoy showing the battles you've won. Battles aren't always won by being stronger, more confident, belittling those you feel wronged you or your loved ones, telling people you had a hard life to gain whatever sort of emotional response you feel you deserve, etc. Sometimes winning is about gaining a little humility. Sometimes what we want or deserve isn't the best path. Sometimes we need to understand that everyone's lives are different and not all happinesses are met.

    Hope can be a deadly savior. Mock you at all corners, or turn those corners into doorways. Your lack of lowering standards is your hope. Perhaps you need to better understand sacrifice and compromise, and how they differ from lowering of standards.

    To quote the Rolling Stones, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need." What do you need, and what are you willing to give up to get it? If you fly the hope flag without willingness to sacrifice, your chances of turning hope into something better, drops significantly. Not impossible, but I guess we will all rationalize differently.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I AM proud of what I've faced, and you're damn right there is some confidence in there, you stand up for what you believe you fight and you die for those who matter, the ones who don't like you for it are unimportant. No people often praise me for talking those who are arrogant off.

      The stabdards are set, they won't lower and that's the truth. Fate or God etc could tell me date a girl you find plain who would be loyal or take a bullet and is chose the bullet and I'm not joking. it matters that much. In the service if you do real front lines type things you need an anchor to humanize and so my family like to say die for or without. Always have something that you would give your life for in an instant and could not live without. And a lover matching standards is that for me.

      I'd sacrifice my life for those I care about, even the people who don't return it, but I wouldn't sacrifice my standards as you put it. I didn't wait this long to let it go down.

    • Show All
    • Someobe who let it collapse them to the point of rehab or meds or just letting themselves rot. I don't mean disrespect to those who suffer those things but you can't just sit around. And it's hilariously ironic last night a friend of mine who knows a bit about my past told me that she finds me very attractive physically even more since the hair is gone and in the way I act and carry myself and she is attractive too but she is dating a friend and I'd never betray a friends trust. I do appreciate the thought you put into your responses even if we disagree that's part of life and as you said earlier if everyone was the same it'd maje for a shitty world

    • I hope the best for everything in your life. I meant no disrespect in anything I've said. I'm glad you made it through all those things in your life. I'm not 100% sure what we disagree on, but I guess it doesn't matter that much.

  • I was in an accident when I was 7 months old, sandwiched between my mom and the dashboard, if I was in the back seat I would have been obliterated. Doctors said I would either be paralyzed fully, my left side won't work, or be dumber than the lawnmower man. Well, I walk, I'm left handed, I have a 138 IQ, but my grades in school didn't fair, so I guess 2 out of 3 isn't bad. I'd been beaten everyday in school from pre-k to 6th grade at recess, after that I stood up for me and others that couldn't. I've got scars from what I went through. The 1st girlfriend I had was raped while I was being held down and beaten. She was beautiful, but the police wouldn't make any arrests, I've had to live knowing that they received no reprocussions for what they did, hoping that that girl isn't messed up. The friends I had after looked down upon me or tried to manipulate me. I've got few friends now, but they are friends that know me and treat me like family. My next girlfriend and my last who is an ex treated me like garbage, asked for a break while I didn't know that was her excuse to see another guy without fully closing me out, neither worked out, and I'm a youth leader at the church she brought me to, all her brothers are in my class. I'm not giving up on love because I know that there is love out there, I'm 26, I don't have a hateful bone in me, I'm glad I went through what I went through, minus what happened to my first girlfriend. It's prepared me to show people that you can carry on without a grudge. Your 19, your young but it will happen, just wait a little while, by the way my now ex was 20 going on 21, so wait a little longer and find someone older whom knows what love is and can give as much as you do. I've been through the ringer, but there is a a peak to every trough, you've just got to have the will to keep climbing, no swinging at the bugs flying in your face, they are just a distraction, if you let go you'll lose your grip, hold on you'll get there.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I respect what you've gone through and appreciate the kind words but missing out on youbg love I couldn't do, (depending on how old you mean in an older girl) but I couldn't date a woman more than 4 years older and honestly couldn't date a girl over 30 until I was as well. (And many say 30 is how long it takes for women to accept s bald guy)

  • congrats bro... although tbh honest i feel sorry bout yer hair-loss :(

    0|0
    0|0
  • I believe a guy can be young, bald and attractive, it's all about the attitude and a good personality. Like the Youtuber Seananners, even as a guy I think he looks pretty good.

    0|1
    0|0
    • He's not bald, I'm skinhead bald no choice, no hair whatsiever like pitbull,

    • He has a buzzcut mine is complete skin. And I can't grow it out even as much as he does if I wanted with how thin it is. It's like Bruce Willis. Chromdome

  • dude you will be fine. She is out there. A guy my age can give up. You can't. You are still young.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds really easy!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wow... You've been through a lot... I can't really help you out, but you've been strong and all you need is confidence

    0|0
    0|0
    • People tell me how strong I seem a lot, I'm not bragging but since my graduation you wouldn't believe the classmates who told me how much of a leader I seem or how much they respect me for what I did (not all I've told you, no one know of the panic disorder in the past or eye patch etc, but of what I did in school, telling asshole students and teachers where to stick it and staying true to my morals and entertaining people) but in the end I'm still alone, I said in the post there are a few things I really fear. Being alone, (or having to lower my standards to not be) being arguably the biggest, being crippled or being blind (my operation was very successful to the point doctors were amazed but my sight I've always kept in appreciation since a child) I fear those worse than dying. And in my military family we don't pretend that life is worth living in certain scenarios. Those being mine sorry for the big comment but all the strength and confidence doesn't make you attractive or happy.

  • its so true all of it doesn't mean much without someone by you're side go find one dont waste anymore time

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm saying with no hair and no experience the girls attractive enough aren't interested or are repelled, I'm bakd at 19

    • Show All
    • If your serious get the hell off this question. If that's your logic towards women you deserve no respect and it just shows how pathetic our generation is. By the way you're screwing over all the decent men who want something real, because after a woman is with garbage like you they probably think all men are that low.

    • Dude the girl you could go bang tonight doesn't deserve respect either, I never said women were innocent and the girls I asked out all were serious and have been or are in a serious relationship, a filter for me is loose girls. I could have had sex with a girl with my shsved head, she was very attractive and young but I didn't want a one night stand I have decency she didn't and a lot of women don't, but that doesn't excuse you from being garbage either for your view and you just compound the problem. And your bold statement at the end proves that you're a little bit off the deep end my friend. I said in the post I don't believe in mental meds but your case may be requiring some. when life actually hits you, you will crumble, or someone with my attitude and beliefs will knock your teeth in when you try hitting on the wrong girl to screw around with when she is in something real with a good man.

      This did boost confidence, proved to me I'm a lot better than a lot of guys like you.

Loading...