Opinion on a song I am writing?

Yesterday I was thinking about you,
about all of our good times.
but today when I saw you with her,
it made me realize. (I gotta let go)
i asked myself all over again.
where'd it go wrong? Where did we fail?
youve been gone, with her. She means everything, I guess I gotta move on now.
Take a deep breath let it all go,
this pain isn't worth loving you, so..
i guess I gotta say if she's what you picked,
im backing down gracefully..!
im gonna go on with the pain, everyday.
Take a deep and walk away!

Not it finished yet. But getting there.. It's a song.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • looks good! a minor suggestion: i would consider taking out the "of" from the second line, unless you need it for the right number of syllables (i don't know the tune). it breaks the flow a bit and feels too grammatical.

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    • Thanks for the suggestion!:) and yeah it's kinda hard to explain on here. It's a very complicated songs it took me months to figure out the beat of it and where I want everything to go! Lol I just started writing the song itself and I need some opinions:)

What Guys Said 1

  • What's the hook? Hard to judge without hearing the tune of the words and the music to go with it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • it's good :)

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  • Not bad so far

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