Any men feel like they can't make a mistake around women?

This is from : "Girls of Reddit, what are common mannerisms for a guy that screams low self confidence?" Thread

-Saying I'm sorry too much.
-Immediately sending text.
-Clingy
-Lack of backbone
-Sexual boasting
-Being shy
-Poor eye contact
-Weak handshake
-Nice guy
-Too much agreement even when if he really does agree.
-Bad posture

I kind of don't even want to talk to women in real life anymore because they judge the fuck out of every single damn word, movement and body signal. The moment you SAY or DO one thing wrong it's game over man.

Even when everything does go ok if you kiss a female wrong it's game over. It's much better to just stay single these days.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • @Urotsukidoji this list is mostly correct. If you are upset by it, that's probably because it hits too close to home.

    This is coming from someone who, in his early 20s, fit most of these descriptions, and not surprisingly, didn't do great with women. Also unsurprisingly, I blamed women for this and not myself, because I simply didn't understand women's perspective.

    But I do now, and none of those things describe me anymore. And you know what? I have no problem attracting or keeping women now.

    Does this mean I act like an asshole? No, not at all - it means I'm not a clingy puppy that's too eager to please, a push-over, or wallowing in depression and a lack of self esteem - none of which are attractive and all of which will repel women.

    The irony is that the more you care about what EVERYONE thinks about you, the less most people are apt to like or respect you, and the less you care about what everyone thinks of you, the more most people will like and respect you. That's because not caring about what the majority thinks of you is a sign of self-confidence. We all have a handful of important people in our lives, and all that should matter is what those few people think of us, and what we think about ourselves. We know if we are doing the right thing or not, and don't need random others to tell us otherwise; that's what our respected mentors are for.

    You can either stay home and wallow in self-pity and stay single forever, or you can change your perspective and your attitude and be successful with women (and with your relationships with men as well - the same things apply to business and professional relationships). The choice is yours.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I think you oversimplified/misrepresented some of those points.

    Here's a link to the thread, in case anyone is interested in actually reading it: www.reddit.com/.../

    I don't really know what to say, QA. People notice body language? That's not really a shock to you, is it? Or the fact that certain behaviours can be suggestive of how confident someone is?

    And so what? Thinking that you have low self-confidence doesn't mean that women hate you or think you're a shitty person. It doesn't even mean that no woman will date you! I've dated guys that weren't very confident. I've dated shy guys, or guys who weren't great at making eye contact, or guys who said sorry a lot. For me, it's only a problem if it interferes negatively with our relationship (for example, a shy guy who doesn't eventually start opening up and feeling comfortable with me, or a clingy guy who doesn't back off a bit after I've told him it makes me uncomfortable).

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  • dont get your hopes down, reddit isn't the bestest of places and doesn't show all women's opinions. there are women that look at the little things and judge according to that, but the majority of women dont. the only one of that list that I would even think to care about is poor eye contact, to me its polite to look people in the eyes when you talk or when they are talking, I would consider it slightly rude if I talked to someone and they wouldn't even look at me. women dont judge every little thing men do, a lot of women dont even care about the little things. if its game over for the tinniest things.. then the person who will brake up with someone for "a bad kiss" has no experience in life and probably didn't have feelings in the first place :)

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  • So let me get this straight... you quote a list compiled by a few women and then you say they judge you. But then you go ahead and basically judge all females out there by assuming we are all like that... -.-

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  • It is what it is

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  • ... Stay single then. Nobody is stopping you.

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    • I have asked similar questions do this in the past (questions where people could've just said "well, stay single then"), I'd imagine that he, like me, would much prefer to want and be in a relationship but he is disillusioned by what he sees irl.

      I'd love to be in a relationship but the reality of it is pretty messed up. I try and find ways of looking at things another way (like asking questions on a site designed to help people find another perspective) but I still just feel like it isn't worth it.

  • This is not about media, or what people taught us, it's our natural instinct to be attracted to the best sort out there. *the survival of the fittest*
    A lion female isn't going to the insecure male lion, she's going to the king of nature, that one lion that knows where he stands and has confidence. It's not our fault, it's our instinct and natural preference.

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What Guys Said 14

  • ... The point can be somewhat simpler if you phrase it like this,

    - don't be excessively annoying to the point that it would annoy anyone else ("sorry if I am annoying you" WELL NOW YOU ARE)

    - don't be excessively obsessive (dude, don't whine if I don't respond in 10 minutes, I am at work! Be glad I am talking to you on Skype in the first place)

    - don't be excessively afraid of interacting with me (seriously, you should be able to say hi and create some minor chitchat, panicking about it won't help.)

    - don't try to excessively seem like you are better than you actually are, especially if you are making the assumption that I am either materialistic, or if you are doing this at the expense of others (making others look bad in order to make yourself look better just shows that you are an asshole with Nothing to offer)

    So in the end, don't be

    - Clingy, desperate, hurtful, or a suck up.

    Simple rules. Just be a decent person. After that, it is only a question of physical attraction, and that is based mostly on your face.

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  • The trick is to stop trying to live up to their standards, and start living up to yours. If they don't like you, or don't feel you're up to par, fuck em.

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  • -Saying I'm sorry too much. No
    -Immediately sending text. No
    -Clingy Yes
    -Lack of backbone Yes
    -Sexual boasting Iffy
    -Being shy No
    -Poor eye contact Yes and No
    -Weak handshake Yes
    -Nice guy No
    -Too much agreement even when if he really does agree. No
    -Bad posture Yes

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    • I read the thread that the QA is talking about and he really oversimplified/misrepresented the points people were making. For example, the "immediately sending a text" refers to this:

      "I once knew a guy who, anytime I didn't reply to one of his messages right away, he'd immediately send another one saying "I'm sorry, I'm annoying you, I'll go away now." Yyyeah. Don't do that. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy."

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    • I know! I wasn't saying you should.

  • I don't get the texting thin. I personally respons when it's most comfortable and that could be right away if my phone happens to be in my hand or much later if I was doing something.

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  • I suspect Feminism is the root of all evil here.

    Women have been taught, by the media or their overly protective dads or other male relatives, that all guys out there are evil pigs who are just out for sex and nothing else.

    Or maybe for rape too...

    Anyone can say something wrong, that's normal, we are not perfect, maybe the women you've encountered so far have low tolerance.

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    • "Women notice body language and behaviour that suggest that someone has low self-confidence."

      "OMG FEMINISM IS EVIL AND TEACHES WOMEN TO HATE MEN."

      Give me a break.

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    • What about it?

      I'm trying to understand what the fact that women notice body language and behaviour that indicate that someone might have low self-esteem has to do with feminism? The reason I think you sound ridiculous is because you seem to need to interject your dislike for feminism on a topic that has nothing to do with feminism.

  • I'm not really concerned about it. I base most of what I aspire to towards who I want to be. I want a girl to like me for that person and I'm happy to modify certain things to accommodate her if I really think she's special for me.

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  • Obviously not all women. the women who judge too harshly aren't good for marrying anyway, or LTR. You only need one good girl. Find her.

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    • No such thing as good one. All women have the same primal instincts of judging a male harshly. It's like how we men have an instinct to like boobs. Women have an instinct that tells them to judge the fuck out of men.

    • They lose that a lot when they get very involved. Then they become a bit blind to it. I am married for 28 years so experience talking here.

  • You're reading into this a bit too much perhaps.

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  • Taking Reddit seriously... ever...

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  • thats only the ass hole women lol

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  • All that is true

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  • I'm none of those thank the lawd

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  • Yeah I do. It's as much because I get so nervous as anything else but I just avoid women irl.

    I keep getting told I'd make a good boyfriend by the girls I know on GaG but I've no interest in a real relationship. They're too messy and f**ked up.

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  • Stay single then. More women for me.

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