Why do people say "your expectations are too high"?

Isn't it more accurate to say "Your standards are too high" or "You desire more than you can attract?"

I know a woman who hasn't had sex since before many of you were born. She fully expects to die alone, but she wants to have sex with a man she is attracted to. Why would I say to her that her expectations are too high if she expects nothing? Desires and wants are not at all the same as expectations.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think expectations and standards are used interchangeably by many people. Not entirely correct.

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    • I wish people didn't do that. Imagine a person who uses the words "infamous" and "fascinating" interchangeably. The difference between "I think Hitler is fascinating" and "I think Hitler is infamous" is striking. The difference between "I expect to win the lotto" and "I desire to win the lotto" is vast. If a person desires to win the lotto but does not expect to win the lotto, then his expectations are not at all unrealistic.

    • Yep I totally agree. Great examples too!

    • Though, to be fair... One can find a person like Hitler fascinating without being supportive of his ideals. That's an important difference to note as well, but it certainly would upset more people if you describe an 'evil' person as fascinating for sure.

What Girls Said 1

  • For one to have high expectations they should be "expecting" whatever they desire to happen.
    If this person expects to find someone that meets her high standards then it is said her " expectations are too high."
    That phrase makes sense in that light.

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    • I don't think she does expect to find someone she desires. Desiring something and expecting something are not at all the same.

      I desire to win the lotto. I do not expect to win the lotto.

What Guys Said 5

  • Sne's like a kid who says they're hungry but won't eat what's in front of them. She says she wants to have sex but not badly enough to actually have sex. It seems likely she never spends enough time with a man to become attracted enough to have sex with him.

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    • Well, in the case you mentioned I would say perhaps her standards are too high. I would not use the term "expectations." It isn't accurate.

  • Mainly because they settled for less and want you to suffer with them... put simply, its jealousy at its finest!

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  • I agree, but I have mainly heard people use "standards" anyway.

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  • Does she want to have sex with a model?

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    • Well, she wanted to have sex with me... and I'm a shiny blue medal, not a model. ;)

      She wants to have sex with someone she's attracted to. However, don't you see the vast difference between saying, "She WANTS to have sex with someone she's attracted to" and "She EXPECTS to have sex with someone she's attracted to?"

  • This seems like a pretty autistic question, honestly. It's just interchangeable terminology, surely.

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    • Autistic? Maybe.

      To me they aren't interchangeable. However, "I expect to win the lottery" is quite different from "I want to win the lottery." Don't you think? The reason why "expect" bothers me in this context is that implies a sense of entitlement where none might not be.

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