Am I just not pretty enough?

This guy I really liked (who was once interested in me) doesn't like me back in the way I like him. I don't get it because we get on so much, I know that he really does value me as a friend. I don't really get why he doesn't like me since he was initially attracted to me... It's not like he's super confident in his appearance, he's pretty insecure. Why doesn't he like me? Ughhh


0|2
17|30

Most Helpful Girl

  • Hello LovesTVDx,

    I am sorry to hear that. However, I would like for you to please ponder the possibility that perhaps this issue doesn't revolve around you specifically. There currently exist an abundant number of possibilities for the rationale behind his loss of interest. For instance, he may have encountered someone else whom he shares a solid and passionate bond with. In addition, he simply may not be searching for any romantic involvement at the moment. I highly recommend you to not take it so personally. Developing the habit of holding things, such as someone else's lack of interest, to such a personal level tends to be quite harmful for one's self esteem because it forces one to question one's worth.
    "Am I just not good enough?" is never the manner in which one should approach the questioning of such circumstances, the logic being that there is no such thing as "not being good enough." Beauty is a highly subjective manner. Moreover, in reference specifically to your case, if a man fails to experience attraction towards you, it isn't a matter of you being short on charm or appeal; it's a matter of the subjectiveness that revolves around the subject of attraction.
    In conclusion, I advice you to function as your own evaluator and to disallow your self esteem and self worth to be so dependent on other's personal views and perceptions.

    1|1
    1|0

What Guys Said 30

  • 1. You're OK looking so it's not that.

    2. Maybe he saw something in you that he didn't like. Maybe he saw how you treated someone. Maybe he saw that you were sloppy and your bedroom was a mess. Could have been anything.

    4|1
    0|0
  • 1. Often confidence is projected, young lady to cover up for shortcomings, low esteem etc, it's more of a defense mechanism for many people. You need to be able to analyze that :)
    2. On the other hand absolutely stunningly beautiful sweet girls ask questions the way you do :)
    3. Fact may be the other way round, he may be thinking you are beyond his league & expresses confidence a lot to cover that up :) - undeniable possibility :)

    2|1
    1|0
    • Thanks haha :) but he definitely doesn't think that. He said he doesn't want to lead me on. I've gave him so many opportunities to be something more.

    • Show All
    • Thank you 😊

    • you're welcome beautiful young lady :)

  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder you just have to move on don't ever give someone that much power how would you feel if a guy was into you, but you didn't like him back and he just wouldn't stop clinging on to you?

    4|1
    0|0
  • It could be the lack of physical attraction, or it could be that he doesn't see a well-functioning future in a 'romantic relationship' with you.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Trust me, you're pretty enough. You have pretty to spare.

    My experience is that attraction can be a fickle thing. You may have a very rosy view of someone, and then once you get to know them, you discover aspects of them that reduce your romantic attraction to them.

    Or your taste changes. My personal taste has been influenced by the women I have been with.

    2|0
    0|0
    • Thank you for the compliment :)
      Yep, he is certainly fickle! He was into me then he's telling me he doesn't want to lead me on...

    • Show All
    • Haha but that's weird. Maybe I wonder why he wouldn't want to settle down with me. I guess I'm a but clingy lol, I'm not exactly the most laid back person in the world 😂

    • I link to this a lot, but I found it enlightening, at least:
      www.ted.com/.../helen_fisher_tells_us_why_we_love_cheat

      How does that play out? :)

  • It may be because he's insecure or unclear I second what everyone else said about your appearance you look great naturally.

    3|0
    0|0
  • This happened to me! With the girl who turned me down! Showed loads of interest, and then when it came down to it, she said no. Despite her always texting me and chatting me up. Met up a few times, and then ''no''. :L

    Don't let anyone tell you; you aren't attractive. Because they're wrong.
    You're beautiful and more. People need their eyes checked.

    3|0
    0|0
  • How did you conclude that he doesn't like you? Did you tell him that you like him or asked him out, and you got rejected? Or did you sit back and wait, and just assumed that he doesn't like you because he hasn't made a move? The distinction is very important.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Why do you think it has to do with your looks?
    You always have looked cute, its definitely not because of that

    Maybe he just isn't ready for a relationship or he just liked you, but not in an intimate/sexual way, more of a friendly way

    1|0
    0|0
    • Is it because I'm not sexy?
      Thanks by the way 😊

    • Show All
    • Thank you haha :)
      I'm too innocent to be sexy apparently lol

    • I don't know wtf that means, innocence is usually a positive...
      *sigh* guys piss me off because they say they want a good girl, and a promiscuous one at the same time, when in reality that hardly exists!!

  • It has nothing to do with you. Don't doubt how great you are because the guy isn't paying attention to you. It could be many for many different reasons he is acting this. You could just be looking for a relationship while he is not.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I think that's true :-/ he is such a lovely, lovely guy but I don't think he's after a relationship. In September he's going to be working every single day, plus he lives at a distance.

    • Show All
    • I think so actually. But then, he's really nice and respectful so I don't know

    • Just because a guy is looking for more of a hookup than a relationship doesn't mean that he is won't be nice and respectful. :)

  • Well he doesn't like you? 😱😱

    Did you check if he is gay?

    LOL just kidding

    Maybe he is insecure and he thinks he is not that Good for you? LOL

    2|0
    0|0
    • Haha but I've told him I liked him like bazillion times :(

    • Then maybe he doesn't like you? Or maybe he just doesn't get the message... Sorry 😔

  • He probably thinks you're out of his league? Don't doubt yourself Alex! You are beautiful inside and out. Good things come in small packages remember :P

    2|0
    0|0
  • How can you ever think that way? You're absolutely beautiful

    1|1
    0|0
    • I don't know why he doesn't like you, but he's clearly blind XD

    • Show All
    • Maybe he's not ready for a relationship yet, but you clearly are and hence why it's like this

    • I think so. He has only recently come out of a relationship too

  • Is this the guy from before? No, it's not your looks. You look pretty :)

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you 😊 and yeah him! Ughhhhhh I've decided he doesn't even deserve my friendship. He isn't even making any effort to be one

  • I don't understand why a guy would lose interest in a beautiful girl like you I'd be lucky to even date you yeah I know I'm only 17 your probably about 19 and yeah I know you may think I'm joking but you are very beautiful and I'd never lie

    2|0
    0|0
    • Aw thank you so much 😊 you're such a cutie lol, you'll have plenty of girls to choose from ☺️

    • Show All
    • Right but man would it be nice to have a girlfriend that doesn't cheat or use me or abuse me I can take the beating but still

    • By the way my name is Chris I don't know if you saw that and this isn't me hitting on you but I do want to say I could give you my number if you ever want to talk

  • Did u give him hints? or just ask if he like someone else? You texted : ,, he's pretty insecure'' Well.,,.., How can he know.,., that u like.,., him.,? if u dont tell him ,.., He might just give up.,, thinking he is ,. not enough for u.,,..,., OR.,., He.,., dont like u ,..,,.= putted u in friendzone allready

    1|0
    0|0
    • I friendzoned him initially then ended up liking him and made my feelings very clear for him. I guess it was too late.

  • Beauty isn't the issue here (cuz you're really beautiful) and Im sure that there's nothing else wrong with you... but him! If he can't see that he's probably the one with the problem

    1|1
    0|0
  • Come on. You are pretty and you know it.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Maybe he thinks you are what too good for him and all that bullshit
    I mean if you like him just let him know, maybe things could move further :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • May be he had seen you without makeupm. Just kidding..

    Actually what say but in reality intially we go for looks.. But As the time passes we start thinking about other things and this could be reason

    2|0
    1|0
  • Heyyy if you're not pretty.
    Then I think we can't find a pretty one on the globe :)

    1|1
    0|0
  • Probably his own insecurity made him think he's not good enough for you.

    2|0
    0|0
    • It's not that. I've told him so many times how I feel about him. he doesn't seem as interested in talking to me at all now

    • Show All
    • So weird...

    • if you need a shoulder to cry on I'm right here :D

  • You're very pretty so it probably has nothing to do with your looks.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You are very pretty, I might like you still

    1|0
    0|0
  • You've been friendzoned. You're just too precious to risk losing.

    3|0
    0|1
  • Have you done anything yet... ?

    0|1
    0|0
    • Show All
    • And you look gorgeous.. 8.5/10

    • Thanks lol

  • Are you sure he doesn't? Since you say he is insecure he maybe feels as if he can't get you and acts as if he doesn't like you. You should tell you how you feel because us guys are confused about how girls feel about us

    2|0
    0|0
    • He doesn't. I've told him so many times that I really like him. If anything I've made his ego too big lol

    • Did he say he didn't like you because if he didn't you can't assume. A question you could ask him is what would you do if I kissed you

  • Are you just fishing for compliments?

    3|0
    1|2
    • ... no? I've just been rejected by the guy I really really liked and I don't know why

    • Show All
    • Because he really gets on with me. He said he looks for someone who can make him laugh and I make him laugh all the time lol

    • Could be you're just not his type. That doesn't mean you aren't pretty

  • You're probably this website's prettiest naturally good looking girl and I'd love to be that guy at this given time

    2|1
    1|1
    • Aw thank you so much :) not sure how true that is but I'll take the compliment ;)

  • I'm sorry that guys like that but never think your not pretty cause
    you know you are <3

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 16

  • He wouldn't suddenly think you're ugly so im sure it isn't that. There's a much higher chance that it has something to do with personality and he just doesn't see you as someone he would have a relationship with. Since he cares about you as a friend it's not a bad thing, it's probably just that your personality isn't quite what he's looking for in a girlfriend. Its not a bad thing, some people just don't click sometimes.

    3|0
    0|0
    • Yeah, I guess there needs to be a romantic spark :-/ I felt it though lol...

  • It has nothing to do with looks. You're gorgeous Alex but evrn if you weren't there are so many reasons why it doesn't always click with two people.
    Timing, chemistry, different beliefs, different goals, not wanting to commit, personalities etc. You can both be amazing people and it still might not work.
    @anon1999 said it best.

    2|1
    0|0
    • Awe thank you so much :) I hope you are feeling a lot better :)

    • Show All
    • Thank you so much :) I think he doesn't want to commit. When I started talking to him he had just came out of a relationship and practically the relationship would be hard. From September he's going to be working every single day and i live a distance away so it would be hard to maintain.

    • Sounds like it. Maybe in time things will look differently.

  • There's more to attraction than just you appearance. There could be a lot more behind it like not being ready for anything serious, thinking you don't like him back so he's keeping his distance etc. He may simply not view you as anything more than a friend. Don't immediately jump to appearance being the issue.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I guess. Tbh I don't think he's ready for a relationship. He's going to be working every single day come September and I live a distance away

    • That's probably the reason.

  • you're not unattractive because ONE guy doesn't like you like that. guys have all different types, that doesn't mean you aren't pretty because you aren't his particular preference. to another guy you are the bees knees

    2|0
    0|0
  • Just because you're pretty doesn't mean he's gonna like you back. It's probably not because of your looks either. You are pretty though.

    3|1
    0|0
  • It has nothing to do with you not being good enough. I'd venture to say he's hung up on some other girl whom he can't be with and so he's missing out on you by pure emotional distraction.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Ugh it sucks doesn't it? By the way you are very pretty :) perhaps he thought about his feelings for you and realized he did not want to lose you as a friend. It really isn't about how you look, people change their minds all the time. This happened to me too , this guy I like flat out told me that"het likes me but can't be in an exclusive sexual relationship"

    2|0
    0|0
    • I'm sorry to hear about your situation :-/
      He's not even talking to me now, I don't even think he likes me at all...
      Thanks for the compliment :)

  • It's not always looks. Sometime personalities don't click and you are better off as just friends. It sucks, but it's the way it goes sometimes.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yeah true :-/
      I don't get why he isn't even interested in being my friend though atm :(

  • It's probably not that seeing as he was once attracted to you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Weather a guy likes you or not doesn't determine weather you're beautiful. Your personality does.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Without blowing my own trumpet he loves my personality :-/ (his words lol)

  • Men change like the weather.. maybe he likes another girl or sees you with different eyes now..

    1|0
    0|1
  • Look at the positive that he does value you as a friend. but if you do have physical feelings and can't be with him, from my experience leave it now. i just posted my experience of this on here, and trust me a year down the line you dont want to be just a friend when he has moved on. You can't put your self worth in other peoples hands, that has to come from you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Some guys are ready for relationships, and other's aren't. Could be that he does like you, but doesn't want to "go there" with you... yet.

    I had a guy that I crushed on in high school tell me he liked me and asked why I didn't ask him out years ago. I said I did... and he said "Oh. I guess I wasn't ready back then". Too bad I didn't wait for him, because it was 6 years ago. :/

    1|0
    0|0
    • Guys are so weird :-/

    • I think you're pretty, so he must be daft :P Some guys are definitely weird...

  • He doesn't like you because he doesn't see your potential. He to busy stuck on a girl that doesn't like him. An he probably thinks that he can change her mind. It's true my mom used to get bullied in high school, and now she can't get the guys who bullied her or thought she didn't have potential off of her now.

    2|0
    0|0
  • So you assume he should like you because you're pretty? Even if you get on it doesn't mean he's attracted to you. He might just like you as a friend.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I don't know why he doesn't like you, you're pretty.. Maybe he does but he values your friendship to the point he doesn't want to ruin it.. Trust me, this is not the worse case.. I've liked a guy for half a year and I still do, we even kissed several times and couple of days ago he told me he doesn't like me at all and that he doesn't want to continue what we were doing.. I guess my situation isn't the worse situation ever, but compared to yours it is. So, keep your head up, eventually someone will like you back and just keep being friends with him but try to just move on emotionaly.. :)

    1|1
    0|0
    • Thank you :) I will
      I'm sorry to hear about your situation, that sucks :-/

    • Np :) Well yeah, but life goes on..

Loading...