My life is so simple. I go to school and come home. I almost never go outside except school. If I go outside for movie or something, i do it mostly alone or with my mom or cousin. My family is nor poor nor rich. I always bought what i want (not extreme things like a car. Well, i dont want a car though) I am a short guy.
I never had a girlfriend. Never even hold another hand. I never get loved back (except my mom). My heart got broken so many times. I never had good friends (hate them). I'm not succesful at school. I am shy. Now that i think of it, i never got something that has made me attach to my life.
I can't console myself by looking at ill, disabled people. Also i dont believe in religion, i find it stupid.
I live in a shit country, shit place, shit neighborhood. I get verbal abused just because i have earring etc.(im straight if you wonder)
Why do I even live? I'm fed up hoping to die every day. I just feel so desperate. Sometimes when i'm alone at home, i just cry. I cry a river when i'm alone.
I can't even help myself how can you? I just wanted to open myself to some other people because it's eating me inside. Thank you if you could stand whole time to read my story.
Most Helpful Girl
I relate to you on so many levels of this. Except im not close with my family like that. We don't do those things. What helped me. And has helped a lot actually was being spspontaneous. Walking home? Stop for coffee, little things like that. You like books? Randomly stop in a book store. See a nice looking store... but have nobody to go With? Do it yourself. Little spontaneous things. Do it. Even if you hate it. And you don't want To because your not gunna want to. You really aren't your gunna think why the hel would I do that? But you Realize once you've done that little thing, just walking into the store to look around you either decided you didn't like it Or it helped tremendously because you weren't thinking with your depressed thoughtts. They weren't consuming you then. I find restaurants the best for me. Just ones or twice a week walking to a place not far but something different and eating there. Bymylelf. Getting a small job once your comfortable helps also. Part time. It helps.
The thing that really pulled me out of my state I was in, similar to yours, was a dog. I think it's because it made me do something. It made me take responsibilitY & it helped more than anything. I hope this helped.1