How do I controll my feelings better?

I am an honest person so just trust me when i say i don't get emotional often. But i am the middle child and my whole family critisizing me, against me... I get sick of it every once in a while and i get mad and then cry. Just happened where my whole family joined in on telling me what a slob i was. Other times it is how bossy i am, how stubborn i am, how i "don't use my head", how mean i am to my little brother, how i never listen to my older brother. I agree there are many negatives about myself, i in fact am very messy (they call it slob), forgetful, anti social, secrative, and easily distracted. But i want to stop getting upset and deal with the fact that i get yelled at. How can i just get used to it or get over it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why do you want to deal with the fact that you will get yelled at? I mean if you know so many negatives about yourself, why don't work on it to make yourself a better person? or you simply don't want to change yourself or do anything? I think you can bring in some positive changes in yourself, I mean don't do it under pressure or because people are telling you. Do it for the right reasons, do it for yourself. I think then your family will start respecting you as well.

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    • It takes me a while to process things, when other people tell me i am a slob, i understand... But it doesn't click in my head. Only when i realize things myself do i have the motivation to do things i want. If anything, people telling me what too be/think pushes me farther from doing it. Just the way i am. But i think i have to deal with it because i can't make them stop yelling at me, it will always be that way and i want to get stronger from jt anyways.

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    • Thank you very much

    • It's okay.

What Guys Said 2

  • First what came to my mind is to say to this usual pegging - "okay, I understood, what exactly do you want me to do?"

    In my family sometimes it happens too. Someone of us did something bad or didn't think throughout something and we criticize. So in my case, I just ask the same thing: what do you want me to do? If it is easy, useful, comfortable for me - I try to change. If it's not working, I tell them: I did try, see? It didn't work. You're free to help me. Because just this constant pegging alone doesn't help.

    If they are people of reason, hopefully, this situation could be improved. Ask them what to do, ask them to help.

    It's not good to bottle your feelings inside, but it somewhat helps to be a person of reason, at least yourself. Yes, you can still get hurt by harsh words, but at least you can find some solace in knowing, that you are do trying.

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    • That will be A HUGE CHALLENGE. But thank you for responding.

  • Just think about what they said and think is there any changes you could do to make things better so there will be no more confrontations

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    • Well i don't think i can change a lot of the things they said... And it is hard to change my personality like that. It would he especially hard if i am doing it for other people. They want it, and i don't have the same priorities as them.

What Girls Said 1

  • You can't when you are around those toxic people... what do you like doing that calms you down or keep you in focus?

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    • Exploring nature like hiking helps keep your emotions at bay or take a walk when you have some fight with them again.

    • Yeah that sounds nice, thank you. I like taking walks/runs, hiking, listening to music, playing guitar, drawing, working out, etc . I'll try calming myself more often. 😌😄

    • There is no way around those people unless you create a world of your own that you can retreat. I know some teens create their own channel in youtube to keep themselves busy with their music and other hobbies to avoid feeling depressed all the time.

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