Is it OK to hit a person as self defense?

The title might sound misleading, but I was wondering, If a woman punched a man in the face, and he hit her in the face back, is that okay as self defence. Because I've asked some of my (female) schoolmates about it and they always 'gasp in horror' and then say it mustve been something the man had done to provoke her and that she was okay to hit him, but he wasn't allowed to hit her. This seems like sexism to me and I was wondering it it's okay.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hitting is never okay, no matter what. Your friends who claim that it is okay to hit a man if he provokes you are the same kind of people who find it okay to hit their children if the children are having a tantrum or being very annoying. It's just a bullshit excuse to find legitimate way to hit another person. Having said this, I also don't find it okay for the guy to hit back the woman in "self-defense". Especially punching in the face is definitely NOT self-defense (unless you are in a seriously dangerous situation where somebody wants to abduct you or something like that). Considering men are usually stronger than women, it's already totally sufficient to grab her hand and strongly hold them down. Sometimes it's even enough to just cover your face and body with your arms. If a girl is a violent person and is on a serious rampage, I would probably push her away from me in self defense. All these things are great ways to deal with a hitting woman without having to hit her back. IF you punch somebody in self defense, you should never aim for the face but for the chest or something like (again, given that it's not some kind of criminal or so).
    And what people (especially a lot of young girls) unfortunately don't understand is that there is one super efficient way of defending yourself that incorporates no physical force whatsoever. If you have a violent boyfriend or a violent girlfriend, the best way of dealing with this is being VERY strict about it and breaking up if necessary. If I had a girlfriend who was becoming violent regularly, I would sit her down after one of those fights and have a very serious talk with her. I'd do this two or three times and if things didn't change, I would dump her pretty soon. I'm a very soft-natured and peaceful person and I have absolutely no tolerance for violent people. Especially girls should be like that too. I know a girl myself who has a violent boyfriend. He is super jealous and hits her all the time for stupid reasons and it breaks my heart to see her stay with him anyway. Every time I talk about it with her she's like "he'll become better one day" only to go home and be hit again.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Your friends are wrong! Not everything that goes wrong in a women's life is a man's fault. If a woman hits a man it is her fault, if a man hits a woman it is his fault. People are responsible for their own actions and they need to stop blaming their actions on other people and actually take some responsibility for a change. This attitude your friends have is the exact attitude that is causing some men to loose interest in getting married.

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  • You hit someone you better be ready to get hit back. Although I am a bit exacting. If someone ever hit me they'll never forget the incident for the rest of their life. One way or the other they will be crippled either physically or legally for the rest of their life. It's not out of anger or revenge I just am making sure that they can never threaten my physical health ever again.

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  • You can only really claim self defence if you were in real danger of harm especially if other person much weaker than you are.

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    • so what about perception of what "real danger" is? my ex was smaller than I was but SERIOUSLY much more able to put me in danger (see strangulation and black out post above.) I felt it was justified and if anyone else legally got in the way they would be very sorry. the worst part? I was abused in front of my daughters. and YES, that puts me AND THEM at danger. does that make sense in this case?

  • you've got it. as the ex-husband of a very violent woman, I was repeatedly gouged in the face and neck, punched in the face and back of the head, shoved and finally what ended my desire for anything more for her was when she strangled me to the point that I started to black out. she was drunk and full of rage and it's the only time that I EVER hit her back, along the side of her head, which finally knocked her off enough to allow me to get up, pack some shit and leave. THIS IS OK. NO ONE should EVER feel like they're not allowed to be beaten without being able to defend themselves. You are very much right that this is sexist... and I PRAY that you've never been subjected to this in any way, either directly or indirectly.

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    • omg :( thats horrible

    • boy, you shoulda left straight away. Never stay with anyone who commits violence against you, doesn't matter how much she 'loves' you or you love her. Glad you left her.

    • it is but I have been able to take that as a turning point (after many years of therapy for that and a million other things) and am using it to support other sufferers (mainly online.) I encourage other people who are victims to come together and handle things as a group. together, we all can get by, although there are serious rammifications, such as PTSD, that come out of it.

  • That's just goofy woman logic "A woman acting out must always be the result of a man wronging her." and should be dismissed whenever it's said.

    I personally couldn't hit a woman, but if a woman punched me in the face I don't really know what I'd do. I'd want to say I wouldn't hit her, but I have no idea if I would; I'd potentially throw her, and I'd definitely tell her to get away from me.

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  • It is NOT acceptable to hit a man and you can be arrested for assault (unless it is self-defense). On the other hand, since men are generally stronger, it is definitely not alright for him to retaliate.

    These days, in most domestic complaints where blows were exchanged, BOTH parties are cited by the police and taken into custody.

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  • Well if a girl punched me in the face for absolutely no reason out of nowhere I would probably hit back but realistically speaking in the real world out on the streets with people nearby I'd be more shocked why some girl would punch me in the face for no reason than try to defend myself. On the other hand if it was a guy...

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    • see, this is what I mean, If i was guy, id be like "bitch did u just hit me." and smack her back. whats so wrong about that? nothing! I mean, well yes because your hitting someone but you know what I mean.

  • Me personally if was hit in the face by a girl, i don''t think i'd have the heart to hit her back. If i was in real danger i would just run

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  • No, that is self-defence.
    I don;t give a fuck what anyone says, if a girl hits me for no reason then I will hit her back with equal amount of force.

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  • Yes, it is OK.

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  • I wouldn't hit a girl because she hit me... and stopped. But if it became clear that she was going to *keep* hitting me until I made her stop, then I would do what it took, but even then hitting her outright would be the very last resort...

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    • And Ya, there was no reason for her to hit him in the first place...

  • doesn't matter what he said, there's no excuse for hitting him.

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  • I could never hit a woman even if she was violent towards me

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  • It's quite sexist.

    It's basically saying that intersex violence committed against men is acceptable, but violence committed by women is not.

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What Girls Said 8

  • In self defense situations it's fair play... your life is in danger so anybody can hit someone regardless of their gender as it's for your own safety. However in situations where nobody's lives are in danger I think any kind of violence is stupid whether you're male or female. No need to hit someone just because you're angry at them.

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  • No. Hitting people is not ok regardless of gender. If someone has been attacked then using reasonable force to defend themselves is acceptable. If someone slaps you and you beat the crap out of them with a metal bar, that isn't reasonable force not is it then self defense, so it has conditions. Just not hitting people in general is the best way to live your life, and expect a slap back if you hit a guy. Don't expect a free shot just because you're a woman.

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  • It is very sexist but it is kind of just how society sees it. If it was truly equal then men wouldn't be allowed to hit woman and woman couldn't hit men. Hitting should never happen whether you are a man or a woman. I don't know whether a man hitting a woman back after she hit him would be considered self defence unless she was restraining him in some way that meant he had to fight her off. It sounds more like retaliation.

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  • Yes of course it is okay

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  • If you want to be equal to men, you must accept to get hits back. But there is a difference between a hit because you feel insulted, or a real punch to put you KO. Don't think thats the meaning.

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  • i think it is ok..

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  • yeah i would think its normal to slap her back. I mean dont uppercut her XD but a slap with a flat hand, yeah.

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    • or maybe that could escalate it tho. I would probably just remove myself from her pressence.

    • to me, this would be a determination of the force used against you. if she felt it was necessary to abuse you violently, you have the right to defend yourself. only problem with the law here is that if they cops come, it's ALWAYS the MAN that has to leave for at last 48 hours, whether they have money or a place to go to live or any sort of way to find food, etc. ALWAYS.

  • Self defense is okay.

    Why would the girl hit the guy?

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