Every day I remind myself that I hate myself, that I'm an awful person, that I'm a failure, that I'm a let down.. I remember all the awkward and embarrassing things I've done and that makes me hate myself more. I remember all the oppurtunities I've passed up because I've been a coward and hate myself more. I realise what a low-life I've turned out while it seems everyone around me knows what they're doing and where they're headed, and I'm just stuck here in this rut. My mum had high expectations for me and I've let her down. The rest of my family hates me too, the don't even speak to me. My grandma hates me most of all. Both my mum and my grandma have told me I'm a disappointment and I know it now. I'm a burden to my mum and a leech on society. Suicide seems like the best idea but I've only lived 16 years and I'd be even more of a burden if I killed myself. I just don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be me. Then there's girls. I always feel uncomfortable around them, they always trigger these horrible thoughts in me. Tbh, I just want to vomit everywhere and sleep for eternity. That's how I feel.
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You will grow into yourself., Give it time. Don't worry about what others think, that is the first step. Take stock in yourself and find the things that need fixing and those that are strengths. Leverage the strengths in everything you do. Work on (seriously work on) those deficiencies that you think are important to the best of your abilities.
NOW you need to be satisfied with that. Only measure yourself by your own values and measures from that point on!!! That is where you begin to become a man. Stand up for yourself. Do what you think right. Own your point of view and defend it.
By the time you are 20, you will be a better man than 95% of the men out there if you follow that advice.0