Can an event cause someone to suddenly have no feelings for years?

There was a time I had no feelings nor guilt for anything from ages 5-12. I was even cruel to some cats and even once replied ''because I like hurting things'' when a classmate asked me why I'm doing this.

However, this event came back into my memory recently a couple months ago; but I only have some memory of it not all. Exactly when I was 4-5 years old, I was sometimes under the care of an older male cousin (he was about 15 then) who I haven't seen for years. He stabbed a squirrel in front of me. He grabbed another one and forced me to stab it (and I kept saying no, even cried) and actually grabbed my hand, handed me the knife and did it for me. He went on doing this several times until at some point I felt nothing and started doing it on my free will. Apart from that I have some fragmented memories of walking with him but nothing else.

Off course I was living in an unstable environment but this memory of my older cousin is the one I've apparently blocked for years and now it's coming back.

Updates:
Now that I recalled, before that I did actually had feeling for living things even for frogs. I guessed I snapped in those years.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes events can affect the future it might have been the catalyst but all your expierences are being added to it but it is good that you are able to analyse it and coming out the other side.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah it's called marriage.

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  • Sounds like you should go to my therapist Dexter Morgan

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    • Actually the one who should go to him is my male cousin. He's the one that introduced me into hurting an animal. The very first time, I was actually crying and and he handed me the knife in a forceful way, moved my arm and did the stabbing for me. It took me 7 whole years to develop feeling and having guilt all over again.

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    • off course I know who he is. He's a serial killer of serial killers and rapist, of bad people. He kills them afterwards.

    • Valar morhgilis

What Girls Said 2

  • I think you should go to a therapist. Not saying you'll do something like that now or in the future, but you experienced some heavy/traumatic stuff and that can have an effect on you.

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  • It's possible. I went through a few things as a kid and there was this point where I lost trust in everyone and didn't care for anyone. I wouldn't say no feelings but pretty darn close so from experience I believe it's possible

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