There was a time I had no feelings nor guilt for anything from ages 5-12. I was even cruel to some cats and even once replied ''because I like hurting things'' when a classmate asked me why I'm doing this.
However, this event came back into my memory recently a couple months ago; but I only have some memory of it not all. Exactly when I was 4-5 years old, I was sometimes under the care of an older male cousin (he was about 15 then) who I haven't seen for years. He stabbed a squirrel in front of me. He grabbed another one and forced me to stab it (and I kept saying no, even cried) and actually grabbed my hand, handed me the knife and did it for me. He went on doing this several times until at some point I felt nothing and started doing it on my free will. Apart from that I have some fragmented memories of walking with him but nothing else.
Off course I was living in an unstable environment but this memory of my older cousin is the one I've apparently blocked for years and now it's coming back.
Most Helpful Guy
Yes events can affect the future it might have been the catalyst but all your expierences are being added to it but it is good that you are able to analyse it and coming out the other side.1