Why girls don't pay for dates?

Like why does this fuckinh stereotype exists? Why society think men should pay? i still see A LOT women especially in my country who say that they won't pay for dates. I bet they don't even take money when they go out on a date.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not all girls. Some girls, the ones who feel as though only the man should pay for them, open the door for them, pick them up, basically treat them like a child, feel like that. In which case, such an attitude should be a red flag in itself. Having all those age-old expectations of men living to dote on them, yet wanting equal rights?

    My boyfriend and I usually split the bill. If it's my birthday or anniversary, I'll let him grab it, I'll pay on his birthday. That's how it should be, tbqh. If both parties have comparable expenses/income, why should one bear the whole load of expenses?

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What Girls Said 12

  • It's because not too long ago, most women didn't work. They stayed at home to take care of household chores. That = no money. Men were pretty much almost the only ones with an income, or at least a bigger income that you can actually spend on dates (and not just necessities). Obviously a lot more women work now, but society is very backwards. Our minds can't keep up with physical development. That's why a lot of people have this conservative mindset in a seemingly modern society. It takes longer to get rid of certain attitudes and mindsets, than it does for physical change to happen.

    I would never go on a date without money, I'm always ready to pay for my share. I think it's silly and backwards to always have the guy pay. However, if he insists on paying, I'm not going to have some massive argument with him just so that I can pay. If he wants to pay for it, I'll let him. Just like I hope he'll let me pay for him when I want to.

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    • And if you don't want to pay, then don't do things that cost money. There are plenty of fun things you can do without having to spend a penny, it just takes some creativity. I think creative dates are a lot mote fun than the ancient "dinner and a movie" date anyway.

  • It's called double standards and it exists for both genders. Just like how girls get called sluts for sleeping around but guys aren't. With that said I don't know one single female personally who still expects a guy to pay for everything. Most times I split the bill with whoever I'm with.

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    • In my fucking ancient country's the fucking society believes that. I wish i didn't live here.

    • @Asker

      Well where do you live then?

    • Greece 😥😧

  • Why does any stereotype exist? Over time for whatever reason, maybe traditions, beliefs, etc... made people feel a certain way about things. That doesn't mean every person will be this way.

    I for one don't hold this expectation. I actually enjoy taking up my part in any sense be it financially or otherwise in dating or a relationship. I am sure I am not alone (:

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  • Well I see a lot of guys who want to pay either to live up to society's expectations or because they really like the girl. I think it is more how people were brought up. Girls are told not to turn down an offer of a guy paying because if you do he gets irritated because he offered and wants to. I am saving my money for dates. If a guy offers, I'll tell him its okay but if he insists I'll let him, but I won't stop thanking him and I will treat him the next time. I think it is only fair

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  • I pay for half of the dates ( when i started dating my now fiance) like he pays food i pay the movie theater i help with the gasoline i believe the date isn't just to please me the moment is for both of us to have fun so 50/50

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  • Omg! Stfu! I'm so tired of hearing people whine on here about how life is soooo unfair. Positivity goes a long way. Js.

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  • It should be the person who asks for the date that feels inclined to pay, it was their idea after all. It really depends on the girl I think. More often that not I think you can tell if they are the kind of person who will take the check or not pretty quickly by their personality and how they act so it's up to you to decide if you want that.

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    • "It should be the person who asks for the date that feels inclined to pay". Why would that be true? The girl accepted the date so SHE must pay, else she should reject the offer for the date. So don't try to bullshit me.

    • No I don't think that's true. If I ask someone on a date (which I have) I would never expect them to pay because I asked. Your taking them out. Your treating them. If I say "hey do you want to go out for ice cream?" And he agrees I'm not gonna be like "good because I do to. Bring your wallet." No that's just douchey. It's about common courtesy. You wouldn't say "take me out for ice cream." Which is basically what your doing by asking someone and not offering to pay. Oh but of course there is always the 50/50

  • If less guys would insist on paying then more women would pay. Honestly I have been on a few dates with guys where I offered to pay and they would not let me like it hurts their ego or something instead of being glad that I was not expecting him to pay.

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  • I doubt you, as an under 18 person, know many "women". I'm sure you know a lot of girls though.

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    • I go to a school with 470 students whole and one of the biggest in Balkans. Each grade has like 150-170 students.

    • Show All
    • 15-18, im in high school

    • Right, so NONE would be the answer. They are girls. I have never heard any woman say she will not pay for a date. Most women are just normal people who don't make ridiculous demands and do not stick to old stereotypes like being the frail, kept woman who is unable to pay her own way.

  • Lots of girls pay...

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  • Where I come from its the gentlemen like thing for the guy to pay at least for the first date. I think that whoever asks should pay or at least split it.

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  • It's not a stereotype. It's a social norm and if you can't pay then don't date.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I think the cost should be shared.

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    • I think that if you don't have sex with the girl, why you should pay? put all the social pressure on her and say "you got this one".

  • The stereotype exists because not that long ago it was normal for men to be the working one and for women to be the one taking care of the house.

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  • Because they can get free stuff. Why would you pay if you don't have to?

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  • Because equal rights.

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  • The problem with the man not paying is that it ruins the dynamic of the date.
    In other words, the man paying sets the theme of the man being the man of the date and saying "i like you, i am going to take care of you"
    Which i believe most women intrinsically like.

    Typically when people go dutch it tells the other person that this is not a date, but rather two friends "hanging out"

    It effects the dynamic on a subconscious level.
    Much like for instance a man who walks on the side of the road closest to the road while "protecting" the woman.
    Or for instance during the old days when a man would put his jacket in a puddle of mud.
    Or pick up her handkerchief. These types of behaviors were brought about not because of socialization but rather they can be traced back to our great ancestors via evolution.

    These types of gender roles are not outdated, they are evolutionary hardwired and cannot be ignored and will not go away in a few 100 years of social programming.
    Women want security and protection and the man to take the lead role. When you pay for the woman in this way it sets this sort of stage. Women can feel this subconsciously, although never articulate it.

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  • It's because they don't want equality. They want to be treated better in the relationship than they will treat you.

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    • But most women are feminists... this explains it...

    • They want preferential treatment in relationships though. No matter how not fair that is that's what they demand

    • I know it's so annying, that's why a relationship is not worth the trouble

  • Have no fear
    feminism is here

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