How do I tell my boyfriend I can't afford to eat out anymore?

In the past whenever we would go out to eat, we took turns paying for meals. But within the last couple of months, my boyfriend has lost his job and can't afford to pay for meals out anymore.

The problem is, we are still eating out the same amount. But I'm paying for everything now and I honestly can't afford it. I am spending on average 150-175 a week on meals out. That's a lot of money at the end of the month.

I've mentioned that we should eat in more and cook more but he isn't interested. He still wants to go out even though he knows the costs are too much for me.

Its to the point where I am saying no to hanging out with him to save costs.

what can I do? Help please


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he can't understand this in a frank conversation - how would you like to be married to this guy? Imagine being broke all your life.

    Either he gets a clue or you move on. It's not fair to you and if he can't even see your needs/concerns he's going to be a bad long term bet.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to be up front with him about it - that's a LOT of money that you're spending on meals. It really sucks that he lost his job, and it's possible he doesn't want to confront his problems or act like anything's changed, but even so, you deserve some respect. Explain that as much as you love eating out, it's draining your bank account and you'd rather save up for the future. If he still. doesn't acknowledge that it's your money and you're the only one in control of how it's spent, be firm with him and say something like, "I know it sucks, babe, but right now neither of us can afford to eat out. Let's try cooking at home together most nights of the week - we'll make it fun."

    If he just doesn't want to cook, suggest ordering in meals that would last you until the next day. It'll be expensive and it's not fair that you should have to cover it, but unfortunately if he's not willing to eat home-cooked food you'll either have to keep paying for him or find a way to get him to understand that you're serious about needing to save your money.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Just be straight with him and explain you can't afford it.

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  • NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

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  • Tell him he's eating out... In bed tonight (say it in a deep voice and then play some Barry White)

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  • Have you tried making your own meals. Stop putting money in to those big businesses

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    • Yes , he isn't interested in staying in. He always wants to go out instead.

    • Show All
    • Cause I'm paying...

    • Then tell him you need to stay in, or for him to get a job, or that you'll break up

What Girls Said 4

  • In a healthy relationship, it's really important that you can be vulnerable about uncomfortable truths like this. So try to view this as an opportunity to strengthen the vulnerability factor in this relationship! Don't beat yourself up and start feeling horrible about not being able to afford eating out anymore. Eating out is expensive! As a personal assistant with meetings to go to, event venues to run back and forth to, celebrations for everyone to enjoy the labor of our hard azz work; I FEEL THE PAIN. You can easily spend an additional $150 MINIMUM depending on where you're going to eat and if you're ordering drinks PLUS how much you decide to tip. So don't feel embarrassed girl! There's no reason to!

    You could either be upfront and just tell him that you can't afford to eat out anymore or just start cooking some delicious meals to get him excited about eating in! Don't let this have a negative effect on the time you spend together because then that will probably just end up damaging the relationship

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  • It's your money. When he is paying you can do what he wants. But when the other person is, you need to do what they want. Truthfully it almost sounds like he is using you. If he really wanted to spend time with you, or was hungry he would be happy with a home cooked meal.

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  • You could find other ways to hang out with him. But you should let him know that you seriously can't afford to eat out. Eating at home or cooking meals isn't a bad thing and if you guys do it together you will be saving money and spending time together.

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    • Yes but like I mentioned he does not want to eat in or make dinner together :(

    • Maybe its something deeper that eating out

  • Try to come to an agreement on how many times you can a week. Also, give him a cookbook and tell him to bookmark the things he'd like for you to cook with him.

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    • I've tried but he just doesn't want to stayin

    • I kinda want to punch this guy.

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