Girls, how do I get over my hatred of christianity?

I was raised as a very strict Christian as a child that put me in a constant state of fear and anexity, as a child I was told by my farther as I was learning in school if I told him that if I was learning about evolution that If I started to allow that way of thinking satantic forces will start to eat at you and then you will be handed over and be cast in to the lake of fire for forever when you die. I was told I was told that I was not allowed to watch certain telly programmes on telly that I wanted to watch such as Harry Potter or buffy. As they where of the devil and not allowed to be watched. I watched to watch certain programmes thought I was being tempted by him and that I should have greater control as I was afraid I was going to burn forever in the lake of fire.

As a child I Was a very nervous child as you may of guessed and completely ruined my childhood and ruined my adult life as I had no confidence as i Was Anexious every second of the day and in a constant state of fear.

When I went to college I started to develop relationships and we grew closer together she wanted to go further in the bedroom and so did I and want to follow my urges but felt and great shame and guilt that I was no longer waiting till marriage and I was not saving myself I never got till sex just dry humping and fingering but that's not everything. I ended the relationship as I thought I was not write With God and I was going to be cast out to hell. I regret so much ending with this girl called Anna as I thought I was being tempted by satan. I really regret it I broke her heart so much she was so in love so much. It now kills me I belived what my dad told me I am starting to get a real hatred for my dad for ruining it. And if there was anything I could do to get Anna back I would turn over every stone to have her back.

Christianity is a cheap form of control of making people more productive of society wherever they are in the world. And just controls them using Shame and gu

Updates:
Ladies thank you for your answers and giving great advice. I will have to have a think about who gave the best answer as all your answers and really helpful.

0|0
20

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know exactly what you're going through because i grew up the exact same way. I grew up in a very strict Christian church and as i got older, i couldn't stand it. I couldn't go to the college of my choice because their uniforms includes pants, but my church taught me that women aren't allowed to wear pants, only long dresses and long skirts. So i missed out on that. I was never allowed to go to the fun places like the beach, the movies or the fair. I wasn't allowed to have braids in my hair. No jewelry or makeup. I couldn't watch anything with cussing, magic, sex, hot making out or even monsters. I was not allowed to date. But the pastors and his fave members were allowed to do whatever, just not me and the rest. I hated it!
    So finally I had enough. I was 19 when i left that cult church. I'm still a Christian. Why? Because i love God and received Jesus into my life. Just as long as I'm still saved and living right to God's Will, I'll nvr go to hell. The same goes for everyone.

    Now i style my hair anyway that i want. I'm finally in the college with the pants uniform (classes started on Monday for me and I'm doing great so far with God's Help) , I having a sexy boyfriend who loves me and makes sure I'm alright. I go to a much better church that truly loves God, but don't try to control what u do or wear, longs it's decent. I'm a lot happier now.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 19

  • I know several people who had a similar upbringing to you and also despise religion because of it. It's completely understandable. I myself am not religious because I see what happens in many churches and also see how misinformed a lot of religious people are. I actually do believe in God and all that but for me I draw a distinction between beliefs and made man rules. Some churches or religious people follow things that are not really relevant today or make much sense. I personally say that you must rid yourself off this religious thinking and rather start looking at things from a spiritual perspective.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I agree. There's a difference between "religion" which in man's idea, and "spirituality". One has nothing to do with the other.

  • Well I agree with most of the things that he taught but you have to realize that even though being a Christian involves DIFFERENT kinds and DIFFERENT degrees of sacrifice - it is worth it because you get something back in the end that far outweighs any benefits that you gave up when you chose to believe in God. I know Christians who become doctors or surgeons because they want to share the love of God with those in need. And I know Christians who are actively trying to save the lives of people who are starving to death. I know many Christians who volunteer at homeless shelters. Christianity is about helping those in need, saving human lives and finding a satisfaction and love for God so deep - you can survive in any circumstance that life gives you. That is what Christianity is SUPPOSED to be about. Some people don't do what they should but that is not God's fault.

    4|0
    0|0
  • you can just see it as something from your past.
    If you cannot believe in it anymore, just don't and you don't have to explain or justify to anyone, not even your dad. It is your own personal choice.
    don't dwell on the past and the mistakes you made out of fear.
    Just learn from it and move on. make a point in living your life exactly the way you want to from now on.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Hmmmm my thoughts here are you should firstly get over your hatred towards your parents - they were/are messed up people!
    If you don't hate your parents but only the faith - that is still your parent's fault. Why? Because they misinterpret the Bible to suite their view of the world - and that view is what tortured you all these years...
    The faith is what you make of it.
    They made this...

    0|1
    0|0
    • Well it's not my mum really she was more dragged along by my father and thought it was not wright what they where saying and stopped going. But as a child I wanted to please my farther and belived what he was telling me to be true.

      Last year I had a really bad turn and had a really bad break down took me a long time to get over it. I got a lot better afterwards and had a lot of mini regressions back and forth.

      After I got a lot better I found out that my dad belived in Calvisum, which basically means if a baby or young adult dies that they can be sent to hell as they have not asked to be forgiven, knowing this now older I told you cannot belive that can you. If such a place exists a all and knowing loving God will send someone to hell because they have had not had enough time to develop enough of a mind to ask. I told him it would be instant heaven. And I told if that is true what he said I would debise him for being so cruel.

    • But the most recent thing I could not take it anymore I told him I needed a break from christianty all this as I was slipping close back. And he said do you not want to go to heaven anymore, I had enough and I was really pissed and I asked do you mean I will go to hell now and he said yes I snapped.

      Sorry for the long response but it only been really in the last few months I started to question what my dad has told me with out feeling the shame/guilt. I did try earlier and question it but I felt so much shame and guilt and thought I was being tempted by Satan in thinking that way and I had to stop that way of thinking.

      I really do hope I will be able to separate my dads version from the the love version I am just afraid If I do its going to remind me of the old version.

    • The smartest thing you can do now is take a break from religion all together for a bit.
      After a couple of years, if you feel the need to do it, go back into it with a loving interest. Don't dive back into it, be careful and nonchalant. You'll see the difference. Embrace forgiveness and acceptance of all people - but only accept the gentle side of religion - you've obviously had enough of the rough one (which is an extreme one and completely unnecessary).

  • I was raised a catholic. The way I see it, catholics are not as strict as other christians (even though theoretically they should be with that big book of canon laws lol). I grew up to love my faith, as my mother always made sure I would see the world for myself and then distinguish right from wrong. I think raising your children very strict brings them to despise religion, like you, and all you wanna do is proof people wrong about it and rebel. To break out of the chains holding you back.
    Every non-fundamentalist christian would tell you that what happened with your girlfriend was NOT wrong. You loved her, she loved you- shame on your parents for making you believe it was. Sure, sex before marriage is frowned upon still, but I cannot believe it's wrong to give yourself to someone you love (even though I did wait but it was more a matter of coincidence).
    How to get over your hatred? I don't know, it's a very difficult situation. You lost the one you love over this. Perhaps it would be a good idea to have conversations with christians who are not as strict and/or fundamentalist, to show you not all of us are alike?
    What about Anna? Do you know where she is at now? Are you still in touch with her?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah christianity can be messed up, I think you should just distance yourself from it as much as possible until you can heal and your hate for it will start to lessen. Distancing yourself from your family for a little while may also help. I used to get bullied in Sunday School and had a hard time believing in what was preached and my mom had to ask my grandma not to push me into it any more. There was a time when I really wanted to believe and get baptized and everything but I experienced too much hate in the church and it scared me off. My mom was always more of a Pagan anyway and even though they tend to believe in christian angels it's not focused on a vengeful god and making it's followers carry around so much guilt. You just have to live with Love and light in your heart there are no nit picky little "sins" you just have to be a kind loving person and you are golden! No matter who you love, when you have sex, or what you watch on tv as long as you are kind and treat others with love trivial things do not matter. It seemed to me like the Christian god was always laying in wait for the chance that I'd do any tiny thing wrong so he could punish me, logically if he created me why would he spend so much time looking for everything that's wrong with me, and waiting for any little misstep I made so he could hurt me? It's upsetting and what started as a region about morality becomes a religion about fear and fear of making any little mistake. I must admit I am a bit bitter about it as well, it filled my childhood full of worry, anxiety, and guilt too until my mom said enough is enough and told me I got to choose for myself what religion I followed if I any at all. And I'm so thankful she gave me that choice, now I am not very religious but I do hold some interest in crystals and healing energies and what not from my mom's set of beliefs, she always took me to shops with crystals that came with little cards explaining their purpose (rosequartz for opening your heart to love and harmony), incense to cleanse the home of bad energies, herbs and teas for healing your body and emotional state it was very interesting. Studying and exploring other beliefs can be very therapeutic and interesting, I found that I liked my mom's beliefs it's all excessively positive and based in nature which I guess I like haha. Religion and spiritual beliefs are not the biggest part of my life anymore and I feel more in balance and happy now when before I felt oppressed and anxious!

    0|0
    1|0
  • Your childhood was filled with anxiety, nervousness, and fear... all things that are not what Christianity is about. As a result of having bitter memories, you started to turn against the idea of Christianity, and I can't blame you. You were raised thinking that everything you do out of line will put you in the lake of fire, and that caused you trauma. You thought Christianity was just a bunch of strict rules, and tradition- it's not. Jesus said that even if you have the greatest faith in the world, or have the best prayers, without love you are nothing. It means that God greatly values love, and acceptance. Christianity is not just a bunch of rules and regulations. Even Jesus went against the traditions of the Pharisees, and befriended the both the poor, rich, lonely, happy, deceased and healthy. Don't be clouded into thinking that God hates you, and just wants control. His love is just overflowing to the point where we can't even fathom.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm a Christian and I agree with some of the things you're dad was telling you. Christianity is not a cheap form of controlling people or whatever you said. The way your dad went about things was wrong you should never say stuff like that to a kid. Unfortunately, parents scare their kids in ways like this that cause them to associate religion with fear and anxiety. Dont turn away from Christianity because your dad didn't know how to properly teach you about God. I think that its best that you give it another try and seek God out. Its more about your walk and relationship with Christ than all the other things.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You shouldn't hate christianity... Its not religions fault, its your fathers fault for misinterpreting it...
    However, if you don't believe in God, you don't have to be christian for your father, you have to do what you think whats right.
    And honestly I don't think you religion has anything to do with you blowing your chances with girl. Maybe your fathers strict nurture, but not religion. What you have to do is get over the past.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your faith shouldn't be built on fear, it should always be built on love. Christianity isn't the one to blame, it's what people who claim to be Christians does that makes the religion look bad to others.

    You have freedom to choose (FREE WILL) always and always, do things to please the Lord because you love Him not because you fear Him. I understand your struggle. I myself have been tempted a lot of times, but I realized if people want to be with me they would respect and understand that there are things I couldn't offer and I wouldn't settle.. I wouldn't give up, what for the longest time I have been believing and keeping just fit in and to be accepted.

    Yeah, to most this may sound so stupid but they're not in your life now for a reason.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hey man, I agree with you. Fear religions are the worst. If you want to get over it, you can either seek out therapy or a more gentle religion. I personally did the former and am now an atheist.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i was raised Christian and went to church every Sunday but my family wasn't strict about it. my dad patiently explained to me about God and his experiences in addition to the histories of various religions and how they came to be. i believe in God and i do not hate any religion but i'm not focused on fellowship with men.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you I wish my dad rasied me the way you where in a more peaceful way.

  • Replace Christianity with "total belief in self" like I did :).

    0|1
    1|0
  • Christianity is not a cheap form of control, the way your parents taught you about Christianity that is wrong. As for how you stop hating Christian, you gotta start from yourself. If you really don't wanna be Christian for you think it is too close minded, then whats the point of you walking out from it while you still are close minded by considering Christian is a religion you should hate? So I guess, just be more open minded about Christianity and you'll be fine.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think Christianity kept people feom doing terrible things in the past and it gives you hope.

    How do you get over your hatred? Realize that everythings already done. You can't go back and undo your childhood and such, but now your free. Go find that girl if you can! If you can't realize that you've still have time to find another girl. Ddon't linger in the past.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think your dad's the one to blame here.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Why do you only want female opinions?
    I think that you just have to realize that not all Christians are the same.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You just have to open to other people's opinions and try and understand why they believe the things they do

    0|0
    0|0
  • I know how you feel. I'm Native American on both sides of my family and the Indian Residential Schools have affected my grandparents pretty badly. One grandmother and both grandfather's were repeatedly raped throughout their entire stay there, my other grandmother was told that her skin was brown because her people were dirty and that if she scrubbed her skin enough she would be pure and white like them so she would scrub her skin raw and bleeding almost every night so she wouldn't go to hell, they were all beaten for speaking "the devil's language", they were told that their culture and everything they knew was devil worship and that they and their families would all go to hell. As a result, I have one set of grandparents who have completely reverted back to their native American cultural roots, which I'm so grateful for, because it has allowed them to heal in a much healthier way despite going through a phase of alcohol and drug abuse which then went on to ruin my own mother's childhood along with my aunts and uncles. I feel like my other grandparents had their religion beaten into them and they're still devout Christians, though it hasn't helped either of them heal. My grandfather just turned 80 and it was only two years ago that he actually told anyone was happened to him at those schools, and I can still hear him crying alone in his room sometimes. My grandfather still feels uncomfortable speaking her language, because it gives her anxiety when she does, probably from getting beaten all those years. So yeah, I get how you feel. I hold a lot of resentment and anger for Christianity because of what it's done to my family and not only my family, but all Native Americans. That religion destroyed an entire generation, who then went on to be so fucked up that they couldn't raise their own children properly. I've seen what it's done to the people all around me and it makes me so angry, to the point where all organized religion makes me uneasy. It's just important to remember that not all Christians are the same. There were nuns in the churches who run the residential schools who tried to help, but they would get sent away as a result. Officials would try to get involved to make arrests, but they would just move the offenders to different schools. I think that Christianity is only a form of control depending on the way that it's taught. It could come from a place of love, but the way I've been exposed to it was from a place of fear.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...